whats one of the funniest things to ever happen to u?? (house, pregnant)

[cruxan]

one day when i was like 13 yeas old me and some friends were sleeping over at another friends house.. and we wen't hiking down a local rivine and one of my friends threw a rock at a jack spanald wasp nest and one of those little suckers stung me on my lip.. and my lip swelled up to my nose and they couldn't stop laughing at me all day so i wanted to go home and i did

and when i was older the same thing happened to another friend at a beach party!! he was drinking a rum and coke and there was a wasp in the glass and it stung him on the lip and his lip swelled to his nose and like 15 people couldn't stop laughing at him.. it was straight out of the cartoons it was so funny..he drank alot of rum n cokes to kill the pain

[younglisa7]

Can I cheat? I have a funnier story that happened to my husband. Here it is.


We were on an airplane going to NY once. He had to use the bathroom. Our seats were a couple of rows away from the bathroom.. He was locked in and tried to get out. I heard him rattling the door and trying to push on it. It wouldn't open. This went on for quite some time. My DH is not very patient so I feared for the door, lol. I turned around in my seat and there were 2 teenage girls behind me. I said "when he finally gets out will you both clap with me?" Sure. Finally he got the door open to a big round of applause. I was laughing so hard I thought I would cry, lol.

Apparently he didn't realize the door open "in" and not "out".


Actually I do have a couple of klutz stories about myself, lol. I'll save those for another time, lol.

[Alaskan Mutt]

I was fishing from the beach one day. There were several sandbars just under the water and I was wearing hip waders so I would jump from sandbar to sandbar. I was talking to someone and not paying attention and jumped to a spot that did not have a sandbar. The hole I jumped into was about 5 ft deep. My waders filled up with water and I could not get out. There I was stuck with just my head out of the water. All of my friends were laughing and pointing at me when a couple of tourists came around the corner. I even started laughing from the look on the tourists faces when they finally spotted what appeared to just my head floating on the water.

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by cruxan

one day when i was like 13 yeas old me and some friends were sleeping over at another friends house.. and we wen't hiking down a local rivine and one of my friends threw a rock at a jack spanald wasp nest and one of those little suckers stung me on my lip.. and my lip swelled up to my nose and they couldn't stop laughing at me all day so i wanted to go home and i did

and when i was older the same thing happened to another friend at a beach party!! he was drinking a rum and coke and there was a wasp in the glass and it stung him on the lip and his lip swelled to his nose and like 15 people couldn't stop laughing at him.. it was straight out of the cartoons it was so funny..he drank alot of rum n cokes to kill the pain

I have a couple of funny stories that have to do with bees and hornets.

In 1965, I was 8 back then, we were over at my uncle's ranch, it was around dusk, and there was a concrete or block fence that had an electrical outlet that had been taken out and a tin plate had been placed over it to cover the hole. Anyways, my cousin and I were getting mischevous and poking at this tin plate with wooden sticks, and when the plate came off, all of the sudden.. BEES started flying out of the hole and we got stung numerous times. I guess there was a beehive in there nobody knew about.

The second funny story, this was in 1966, we were in California, I think it was around Stockton or Modesto, my dad was driving on this country road and there was a fruit vendor on the side of the road. My father stopped and my parents picked up a few things. Not long after that, all of the sudden my younger sister, who was 3 at the time, started screaming and crying. My mom turned around and kept asking her "what's wrong with you?", and my sister just kept screaming. My dad pulled over and I remember when my mom kept her why she was crying, my sister was pointing at her rear end and just screaming in agony. My mom pulled down my sister's underwear, and there was a hornet that stung her in the rear end! LOL... I think it got into the car while we were at that fruit vendor, and somehow it ended up on her rear end and stung her!

[Magnum Mike]

In 1986, a buddy of mine and I went into a bar on a slow weeknight. We sat down at the bar and were talking when a guy sat next me and he was trying to start a conversation with me. All of the sudden, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him.. I wasn't sure I heard him correctly because juke-box music was playing, and I remember with an expression of shock asking him, "Excuse me?", and he asked me again if I wanted to dance. I told him that I'd rather dance with one of those girls sitting at a table. Then he explained to me that it was a gay bar... I tapped on my friend's shoulder and told him "Let's get the hell outta here", and indicated to him that we were in a gay bar.

Apparently, there was a sign at the entrance to warn the patrons that the place is for those with that lifestyle, but we didn't see it because somebody was standing infront of it. I joked with my friend while we were walking to my car and told him that I hope nobody we know saw us walking out of there!

[cruxan]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

In 1986, a buddy of mine and I went into a bar on a slow weeknight. We sat down at the bar and were talking when a guy sat next me and he was trying to start a conversation with me. All of the sudden, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him.. I wasn't sure I heard him correctly because juke-box music was playing, and I remember with an expression of shock asking him, "Excuse me?", and he asked me again if I wanted to dance. I told him that I'd rather dance with one of those girls sitting at a table. Then he explained to me that it was a gay bar... I tapped on my friend's shoulder and told him "Let's get the hell outta here", and indicated to him that we were in a gay bar.

Apparently, there was a sign at the entrance to warn the patrons that the place is for those with that lifestyle, but we didn't see it because somebody was standing infront of it. I joked with my friend while we were walking to my car and told him that I hope nobody we know saw us walking out of there!

looooooooooooool i would have left adust trail outa there

[dsh1127]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

In 1986, a buddy of mine and I went into a bar on a slow weeknight. We sat down at the bar and were talking when a guy sat next me and he was trying to start a conversation with me. All of the sudden, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him.. I wasn't sure I heard him correctly because juke-box music was playing, and I remember with an expression of shock asking him, "Excuse me?", and he asked me again if I wanted to dance. I told him that I'd rather dance with one of those girls sitting at a table. Then he explained to me that it was a gay bar... I tapped on my friend's shoulder and told him "Let's get the hell outta here", and indicated to him that we were in a gay bar.

Apparently, there was a sign at the entrance to warn the patrons that the place is for those with that lifestyle, but we didn't see it because somebody was standing infront of it. I joked with my friend while we were walking to my car and told him that I hope nobody we know saw us walking out of there!

!!!!!!!!!!

That reminds me of something that happened to my husband - - - he didn't think it was very funny, but the rest of us were hysterical.......
My husband drives truck for a local outfit and was on his way to work one early morning in his personal truck on the freeway and he notices this guy in a car speeding up and slowing down next to him. So he looks over and sees something he really doesn't want to see (that's all I'm saying, I think you get the idea)! My dh speeds up and gets off the freeway and this guy follows him to his work! Well, needless to say a bunch of guys at his work came out and this guy took off..

You can imagine working with a bunch of truck drivers the teasing and comments my poor dh got!! The guys at his work called me and told me the whole story. Poor guy, he still can't live that down! Many of the guys my dh works with have been "flashed" by girls, but my poor dh's bad luck - - - he gets a guy!!

[alicejb]

it must have been my hormones because this scenario had me laughing hard (i was pregnant at that time). anyway the ex and i were strolling in the mall and passed by the arcade section where the kids play their video games. that dance revolution game was the newest trend at that time (the one where you follow the lights on the floor as dance movements).

this kid was furiously tip-tapping with his feet as the beat got faster, but i looked at his face and the expression was comedy. he had that look of frantic desperation while his feet was all over the place. any minute i could imagine smoke coming out from his feet, like those cartoons and his face looked like he was going to throw up.

[Coolhand68]

Got caught in the middle of a fast and furious food fight in a pizzeria in NYC one night. It started with a homeless woman and her man getting into an argument. She screamed at him, picked up his plate of food (spaghetti and meatballs) and threw it across the room at a booth with two couples who were eating. Of course most of that plate fell short of the intended target so I now had a set of spaghetti earings hanging off me. The two couples returned fire and once again I get caught in the crossfire. This went back and forth several times. I picked the wrong day to wear a yellow shirt to an Italian restaurant. The ride home on the subway drew a lot of stares and glares as I was covered in tomato sauce.

So I'm chilling on an Ecuadorian beach one day during a rough deployment. Got my Corona, sunglasses, shorts and sandels, feet up on another chair watching the waves crash on the shore. My mind is a million miles away when suddenly a two foot long iguana drops on my chest. Apparently the kids who hung out there at the cabana thought it would be amusing to toss an iguana on the gringo. Judging by my animated reaction they were right.

While stopped at a red light in a seedy part of Brooklyn, a half naked prostitute jumps into my car and without looking at me says "I don't mean to f*** with you, but I have a bad headache, can you take me to the store down the street so I can get some aspirin?" There was a pregnant pause for a moment while we both processed the moment. Then she turned to me and said "Oh sh*t I'm sorry, I thought you were my pimp, you guys have the same car!" She asked if I could just drop her off at the store anyway, which I did, and then hoped a cop wasn't behind me when she got out. From that point on my car doors remained locked at all times.

A crazy ex-girlfriend and I were locked in the heat of the moment, she's straddled on top, life is good...everything is moving along nicely when out of the blue...WHAM, she punches me right in the mouth. No warning, no scream, just a rolled up fist full blast in my face. I shake it off and I've got a very perplexed WTF look on my face and before I could get the words out she says "I just felt like trying something rough, just trying something different". With busted lip I asked that we discuss any future "experiments" prior to implemenatation.

There are some funnier ones than these, but they aren't PG-13, only furnished upon request.