For some time many of us have wondered just who is
Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You
don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now
respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:
Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep
Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were
living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva
Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently
married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced
the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,
Byrd,and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa
Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,'
you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. ****t
(Thought you could all use a little bit of laughter. An oldie..but a goodie!)
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Who Is Jack Schitt?
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