Cars By Microsoft....LOL (to buy, temperature, how to, computer)

[younglisa7]

THIS WAS BEFORE VISTA, VISTA CORRECTED NONE THESE> IT ONLY ADDED EVERYTHING FROM #14 ON!

CAN YOU ADD ANY?



At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates "reportedly" compared the computer

industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with the technology

like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000

miles to the gallon."



In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by

Mr. Welch himself) stating(again, this is what I heard):



If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with

the following characteristics:



1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.



2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new

car.



3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuver such as a left-turn would cause your car to

shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.



4. When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this,

restart and drive on.



5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or

'CarNT', and then added more seats.



6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and

twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.



7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a

single 'general car default' warning light.



8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.



9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.



10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you

in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the

radio antenna.



11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps

from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor

want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's

performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a

target for investigation by the Justice Department.



12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to

drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same

manner as the old car.



13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.



******** After VISTA



14. After turning the key to start, the engine would rev for 15 minutes before you could put the car into gear.



15. After turning the ignition switch off, the car the engine would diesel for 20 minutes and the seat belts would remain in the locked position.



16. All tires would become obsolete after 3 years and new tires would require new wheels to be attached..

[studedude]

People any place in the world could siphon your gas.

[TT Dave]

Funny stuff...LOL

[fuzzymystic]

you should put this in the joke thread!

[Magnum Mike]

My truck is powered by Gasoline, version 89.2. Windows does have a lot of bugs and you have to wait for fixes to download. Whenever I find bugs in my truck, I fix 'em.. with a swatter!

[TT Dave]

Originally Posted by Magnum Mike

My truck is powered by Gasoline, version 89.2. Windows does have a lot of bugs and you have to wait for fixes to download. Whenever I find bugs in my truck, I fix 'em.. with a swatter!

When the "bugs" invade my PC, I feel like using a swatter on it!...or a sledge hammer...LOL

[Magnum Mike]

Originally Posted by TT Dave

When the "bugs" invade my PC, I feel like using a swatter on it!...or a sledge hammer...LOL

Dave, you can borrow my .300 Winchester magnum rifle too, if you want..

[fuzzymystic]

Originally Posted by younglisa7

.



4. When your car died on the freeway for no reason, you would just accept this,

restart and drive on.

Actually, I think you have to close all the windows, get out, get back in and restart it and it's probably fixed.