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Old 11-17-2009, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Tennessee/Michigan
28,966 posts, read 49,651,280 times
Reputation: 20996

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These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:18 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
36,713 posts, read 25,288,115 times
Reputation: 126301
Good list, but on the toilet seat thing...a little kid can drown in an open toilet. It's happened. If kids are in the house, close the lid.
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:39 PM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,750 posts, read 57,205,860 times
Reputation: 165842
That about covers it!!!
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:50 AM
 
Location: Sudcaroland
10,664 posts, read 8,320,949 times
Reputation: 31987
Hubby will agree with many of these!
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Old 11-18-2009, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Upstate NY
1,289 posts, read 2,478,224 times
Reputation: 3690
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post
Good list, but on the toilet seat thing...a little kid can drown in an open toilet. It's happened. If kids are in the house, close the lid.
No one complains about the toilet seat thing around here since its a rule that the lid must be down. We sometimes put bleach tablets in it and don't want the cat drinking the water, playing in the water, or in one case, leaving her favorite toy in the water to be flushed.

Great list! Even though I'm female I agree with most of these.

Regarding the one about saying things to girls that can have multiple meanings, I'll admit that sometimes I'll ask my BF trick questions like that just to keep him on his toes, but he usually thinks about it and answers "no comment" or "I don't know".
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Old 11-18-2009, 12:31 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 5,433,889 times
Reputation: 1829
I actually agree with this list. wasnt really expecting to, but I do.
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Old 11-18-2009, 08:05 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
36,713 posts, read 25,288,115 times
Reputation: 126301
Quote:
Originally Posted by Puru View Post
No one complains about the toilet seat thing around here since its a rule that the lid must be down. We sometimes put bleach tablets in it and don't want the cat drinking the water, playing in the water, or in one case, leaving her favorite toy in the water to be flushed....
We have one bathroom at the end of a hall. The cats love to tear down the hall, digging their claws into the carpet to gain speed and LEAP onto the toilet.

Once or twice one has gotten an unexpected bath when the lid was accidentally left up.

(No kitties were harmed in the making of this post. )
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,152 posts, read 7,805,309 times
Reputation: 16778
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post
We have one bathroom at the end of a hall. The cats love to tear down the hall, digging their claws into the carpet to gain speed and LEAP onto the toilet.

Once or twice one has gotten an unexpected bath when the lid was accidentally left up.

(No kitties were harmed in the making of this post. )
I'm from Peta - good thing you clarified that!!
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Old 11-18-2009, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,152 posts, read 7,805,309 times
Reputation: 16778
I must be in a goofy mood tonight because I'm finding everything to be funny - nope, haven't been nippin.

I also agree with this list, or at least, suspected many of these items - nice to have it down in print.
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Old 11-19-2009, 09:43 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 16,063,455 times
Reputation: 64049
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1960 View Post
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
You forgot to add, your favorite color is blue and your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
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