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Old 05-15-2007, 03:28 PM
CD News Reporter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
13,882 posts, read 9,133,179 times
Reputation: 5783
John1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond repute
John1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond repute
Talking About Women, Is this true about women? A long list.

Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.


Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

Women brush their hair before bed.

Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'

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Old 05-15-2007, 04:11 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 772,682 times
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skoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really niceskoe is just really nice
Wow, you make us look like a bunch of uptight basket cases! You have to admit though, in the end we always win!

Good posts!
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Old 05-15-2007, 04:56 PM
Real Estate Agent
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
2,922 posts, read 2,350,829 times
Reputation: 1852
mainebrokerman has a brilliant future
mainebrokerman has a brilliant futuremainebrokerman has a brilliant future
you forgot one, woman never lose an arguement, a wise man learns this, also, a wise man also learns a woman wont have sex when angry, so he doesnt want to win an arguement,,,,he wants to calm her down,,enough to hopefully have a roll in the hay

on the very rare occassion a man could actually win an arguement,,,,he may win the battle, but lose the war, he aint gettin much,,for a long time!
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Old 05-15-2007, 04:58 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Weston, FL
2,335 posts, read 2,757,812 times
Reputation: 946
jhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to beholdjhlcomp is a splendid one to behold
I just had my husband read this and his words "that doesn't sound like you - where do they find this $$$$."
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Old 05-15-2007, 05:05 PM
Real Estate Agent
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
2,922 posts, read 2,350,829 times
Reputation: 1852
mainebrokerman has a brilliant future
mainebrokerman has a brilliant futuremainebrokerman has a brilliant future
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhlcomp View Post
I just had my husband read this and his words "that doesn't sound like you - where do they find this $$$$."

wise man, thats an unwritten rule, say whatever you have to to make your woman feel good
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Old 05-15-2007, 08:47 PM
CD News Reporter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
13,882 posts, read 9,133,179 times
Reputation: 5783
John1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond repute
John1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond reputeJohn1960 has a reputation beyond repute
I found this at the link below.

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_167.htm (broken link)

John
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:32 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Az.
1,198 posts, read 275,195 times
Blog Entries: 3
Reputation: 345
Leana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the roughLeana76 is a jewel in the rough
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1960 View Post
Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.


Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

Women brush their hair before bed.

Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'


Hmmm...It only takes me 1 hour to get dressed up to go out.

I like my breast size (38B/32C). At least they are perky, they stand up, and I don't have to wear a "granny size" bra or bikini top.

I don't hate bugs and was never scared of them. I like certain ones.

And I don't go the bathroom with a group of other ladies. I'm pretty much a loner, because I like to move with precision and do what I got to do to get out of something.

And I like dogs MORE than I like cats.

So, you see babe, not all women are the same and not all of us are dainty little divas either. I bet a can run a mile faster than you, babe...
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:43 PM
Go climb your family tree
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Leland, NC
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southernlady5464 has a reputation beyond repute
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I was reading thru that list going Nope, nope, nope, not me. nope, not me...not me...

So I guess I'm not "Most women" and my husband doesn't fall into the class known as "most men". Liz
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Old 02-17-2009, 04:40 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
282 posts, read 153,813 times
Reputation: 197
LeaveWI has a spectacular aura aboutLeaveWI has a spectacular aura aboutLeaveWI has a spectacular aura aboutLeaveWI has a spectacular aura about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leana76 View Post
Hmmm...It only takes me 1 hour to get dressed up to go out.

I like my breast size (38B/32C). At least they are perky, they stand up, and I don't have to wear a "granny size" bra or bikini top.

I don't hate bugs and was never scared of them. I like certain ones.

And I don't go the bathroom with a group of other ladies. I'm pretty much a loner, because I like to move with precision and do what I got to do to get out of something.

And I like dogs MORE than I like cats.

So, you see babe, not all women are the same and not all of us are dainty little divas either. I bet a can run a mile faster than you, babe...

omg seriously lighten up !! They were only joking with each other, no malicious intent was implied, btw babe, as far as the mile try 4:03 mile babe
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Old 02-17-2009, 06:37 PM
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Status: "Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty boys?" (set 16 days ago)
 
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Location: Orlando, Florida
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About Women, Is this true about women? A long list.



Guilty of many. It isn't easy being the more glamorous sex!
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