do you ever feel invisible? (the best, how much, find someone, name)

[Ronzou]

Originally Posted by noplacelikeWA

I can see where it could be handy to actually be invisible and it does lighten the mood. My invisiblility has been just building up lately, unfortunately at this point I am getting that "why bother" attitude but thanks for trying.

Why bother?

Because if you just give up people will continue to be that way towards you.

Being invisible does have it up points like... I could always do that one thing I thought of when I was PE in gym.... *cough*

Yes....

When someone walks away just say to yourself "Oh well they were boring anyways"

Or when they change the subject bring it back to what you were talking about.

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by noplacelikeWA

I'm having a bad day, no it's been a bad month by now and I guess today I have had enough. I just feel totally invisible! Let me explain, you know when your in a conversation with someone and they aren't making eye contact with you and they just knod once in awhile barely acknowledging that your talking, or midway through your sentence they get up and walk across the room to do something completely random, or they just start talking about something else all together. Another unfortunate side effect of being invisible happens when you ask someone to help with a task or to do something but for some reason they don't totally listen and then end up doing it all wrong. How about leaving voice mails for someone and they refuse to even call you back or for that matter emails that never get replied to. I just want to be heard and for the people I am talking to to actually listen! I'm sure I can't be the only person out there that feels invisible?

both sides- This may help. At my in-laws I felt invisible (lol- maybe bcs I made their son, my husband go to rehab)

Last year a friend I havent seen since 1999 wanted me to visit/she practically begged me. Wanted me to see her beautiful new house, etc. I drove (14 hours and I DONT like to drive far distances)

Anyway I got there (NY in January-cold!) the guest room was freezing and she was fighting with her husband. I had planned to stay 5 days- I went to a hotel and left the next day

I was angry and hurt at first but, I know I would never treat a person that way. I guess my point is, dont let it get to you- some people are very selfish and dont care. There are always new people to meet. It took awhile for me to become tough- but I've learned!-hope this helps!


sunny

[ahava]

Originally Posted by noplacelikeWA

I'm having a bad day, no it's been a bad month by now and I guess today I have had enough. I just feel totally invisible! Let me explain, you know when your in a conversation with someone and they aren't making eye contact with you and they just knod once in awhile barely acknowledging that your talking, or midway through your sentence they get up and walk across the room to do something completely random, or they just start talking about something else all together. Another unfortunate side effect of being invisible happens when you ask someone to help with a task or to do something but for some reason they don't totally listen and then end up doing it all wrong. How about leaving voice mails for someone and they refuse to even call you back or for that matter emails that never get replied to. I just want to be heard and for the people I am talking to to actually listen! I'm sure I can't be the only person out there that feels invisible?

I hear you. I've been feeling that way myself lately. I do so much for other people and get nothing in return. My sister is having relationship troubles with her husband, and she called me late last night to ask if I would spend the night, because she didn't know where he was and didn't want to be alone. So I drove over there (she lives 20-30 minutes away), and when I arrived she said, "Oh, you took too long to get here, I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch." I was SO angry! And then I called my husband to vent about it, and he was totally unsympathetic. He defended my sister and then told me to go to sleep and I'd feel better in the morning. (Hmm, it's almost a day later and I'm still upset about it.)
My cousin who lives 7 hours away is having a bridal shower, and I wasn't planning on going because it's so far and I barely know her. But today my mom called me and asked if she could ride with me. For some reason she assumed I would be going. I told her I wasn't but I felt guilty, and then she offered to pay for gas and my gift, so I agreed to go. But I don't want to go and I know I'm going to end up sitting with my mom the whole time because I won't know anyone else. My sisters aren't even going. Plus, I think it's really cheesy to invite people you've said maybe five words to, ever, to a bridal shower.
Emails and phone calls being ignored happens to me often. About a month ago I emailed a coworker and asked if she could do a work-related favor for me...I have yet to receive a reply to my email. She also never returns any of my phone calls about anything. If she doesn't want to do the favor for me, that's fine, but it would be nice if she could at least TELL ME. I gave up on her and asked someone else to do it yesterday, and still haven't gotten a reply from him either.

I feel abused, and I'm sure you do too. Unfortunately I don't have any advice about how to deal with it. People suck.

[pammybear]

I've felt invisible driving down the road and someone just pulls right out in front of you---I'm in a car and they didn't see me. Unbelievable. Had many near misses like this..................


Also when talking on the phone with someone and then they start holding a conversation with someone else while we are still on the phone!
I always interrupt and ask "If you're too busy to talk right now, then call me back!!" Also, has anyone ever put you on hold on their call waiting and forgot to click back to you?? I wait about 20 secs and if they haven't come back, I hang up.


It's pretty sad that there are so many ways to feel invisible........ You're not alone!

Pam

[Miss Blue]

Here is a new word for you to learn "NO. " This word is more effective in a raised tone. The raised tone is made more effective with the emphatic shaking the head rapidly left to right. For even more effect assume a stubborn stance with legs planted apart and hands balled into fists, and placed on your waist. After doing this exercise a few times, you will be amazed at the respect you will get

[Twinkle Toes]

Yeah, I'm invisible when I go to the dance studio. The owner, for whatever reason, never acknowledges my presence. She will come up and hang all over my partner as if I'm not even there. She'll say hello to him, compliment him on his clothes, or haircut or whatever and NEVER say one word to me.

Then, she pulls this weird sh*t. One day there were a couple of little kids having a lesson and she looked right at me and said "do you remember when yours were that young?" Because she was looking at me I assumed she was talking to me, so I answered her question. Then she said "I wasn't talking to you - I was talking to Russell." Silly me for even THINKING she was talking to me! LOL

That's cool though because at this point I'd rather she NOT talk to me or acknowledge me. Although I have no idea why she's like that. Whatever!!!

[I LOVE PA!]

I am having mt own personal invisible pitty party too right now.
I have a few things going on in my life, aging parents that live on their own that I don't know what to do with...a daughter struggling to find a path in life another daughter with anxiety that I fear I might be pushing too far going to a difficult prep school, I literally have NO friends to talk to about any of this. My hubby works long hours, he just doesn't get the 'girl stuff' going on in the house.
To everyone who sees me casually, they look at me and think my life is great, I can't dump these burdens on anyone, and if I mention anything, I try to not be dramatic and then it doesn't seem to have to same impact.
I do feel like I am walking around, invisible. truly.

[Blueberry]

<<<<noplacelikeWA>>>>
That's supposed to be a big hug!

Been there, done that, know what you're going through.

Personally, whenever I feel this way, I do a reality check to evaluate my relationship with Jesus Christ. Sometimes, I'm putting others before Him and expecting them to meet my needs rather than looking to the ultimate source of life and happiness. Sometimes immersing myself in God's Word and prayer will put things to right. Sorry if this offends anyone, but it's what true for me.

However, once I feel good about my spiritual well-being yet still feel invisible, I do one of several things. My favorite thing to do is give myself a mental health break; I usually call it an Attitude Adjustment Day! I notify the boss in advance that I'm going to take a day off in the near future when the weather is beautiful; this serves as his advance warning. When I wake up in the morning, I call the boss to let him know he won't be seeing me, then I spend the rest of the day on me. I pamper myself, dress up, go to my favorite haunts (which means getting outside doing something I consider a treat), and eat at a nice restaurant. I don't take anyone along because that might spoil the mood. Take this time to revel in being alive and count your blessings. This isn't a day to be morose or give myself a pity party; this is a day to focus on the good things in my life.

Aside from my Attitude Adjustment Day, I try to evaluate if there is something about me that is causing others to act like I'm invisible. Is my appearance neat? Do I have bad breath? Is there a booger routinely hanging from my nose? Once the obvious is addressed, I re-evaluate my personality. Am I truly interested in the other person? Am I making an effort? And the one that really hurts...Am I really that boring? Then I try to change whatever I can to present myself better so others don't look through me but, instead, look at me and consider what I have to say. This might mean going beyond my comfort level.

Of course, there's the really annoying aspect when I'm doing everything I possibly know to change the situation within the confines of my morality, and I'm still getting nowhere. That's when I tell myself that it's really the other person's problem, and I'm not going to let it affect me. (Easier said than done! ) I mentally write the other person off if I can't just avoid seeing him. I refuse to let others change me into a person I'm not going to like. If I feel really desperate, I might consider a change of location and a getting a fresh start. I once had a woman tell me that she loved to move because she could remake herself in a new location. I'm not sure that's the answer, but if you want to remake yourself and you're not violating your ethics/morality/conscience, then this might be a solution. If you don't want to remake yourself, a move might still be a refreshing change assuming you don't harbor bitterness from past disappointments.

When any of the above isn't possible, I try to spend time with the people whom I know love me. After all, their opinion is what really matters (assuming they don't have "issues"). Just being around these people is usually an attitude adjustment in and of itself. If you don't have anyone like this in your life, there is probably [i]someone[i] with whom you can connect and talk. If you're really brave, discuss your feelings with these people. They can probably tell you if you are on the right track.

Last, but definitely not least, do you know any young children? Kids accept people for who they are. Spend LOTS of time with kids, with appropriate approval, of course. First, children usually bloom with the attention. Second, you usually receive payback in spades. And kids are annoying honest, so if you have any issues, they will be blunt enough to tell you to your face.

[doll lady]

I do have those days. I just feel no one is listening to me. Sometimes it's easy to shrug off and sometimes it's not.

When my husband does it to me, I go over to the wall instead of talking to him and I talk to the wall (so I and stand there and talk to him via the wall).....it makes him start listening at least! He knows I am mad at him for not listening at least.

[rebuilder]

someone asked this question......if you had a choice between being able to fly or be invisible which one would you choose? I didn't have to think twice I would choose invisibility, just think of the possibilities.........