How To Drive In New York.....LOL (driver, cell phone, accident) - City-Data Forum

younglisa7 · 12-29-2009, 06:29 AM

I remember some of this, lol.

There are only two things needed to drive effectively in NY:
A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including knowing where you are going.
For those of you who live in New York or have lived there, these things may come as no surprise.
For those who have not traveled there before, Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid.

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Newyork, not New-York. Also, Manhattan is not pronounced Manhattan, it is Manhatt-in

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the Deegan is 85 mph. On the Belt Parkway it is 105 or 110.
Anything less is considered "Sissy."

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. New York has its own version of traffic rules.
For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Staten Island and Queens, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It is another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of New York. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, rats, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. Map Quest does NOT work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they go. All the Bridge E-Z Pass lanes are moved each night to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you will be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon
Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

DRIVE SAFELY !!!

KwaK · 12-29-2009, 08:10 AM

lol Lisa
Having driven many times in the City these are great
Also want to add
You can always tell who drives a stick shift in the City they have a really over developed left calf muscle from working the clutch in traffic

Bluesmama · 12-29-2009, 11:51 AM

I was in New York last year for 10 days, and the only thing I can say "bad" about New York is the traffic. Seriously, it is so bad that I would sometimes pause to watch and reflect on how the traffic here in Portlandia pales in comparison. I was astounded. And even more astounded that there aren't more wrecks or pedestrians hit.

The pedestrians! I've complained to High Hell in San Francisco about how it's people (residents are the worst) just cut across on-coming cars whenever they feel like it. I don't know how drivers do it. But, again, it pales to New York.

But I have to admit, in 10 days I never once saw a "finger" flash up. I think most drivers there just know what to expect and accept it.

stillkit · 12-29-2009, 12:43 PM

The minimum acceptable speed on the Major Degan might be 85, but the maximum POSSIBLE speed on the BQE is 35.

Oh, by the way...for you big truck drivers, don't pay any attention to the sign you see going north on the BQE just before you start under the Brooklyn Bridge. It says something about a low clearance, but it's talking about down the next ramp, not the bridge itself. Don't do what I did and slide to halt wondering what the hell you'll do next.

That too is a good way to get shot.

Magnum Mike · 12-29-2009, 01:07 PM

LOL.. I've never driven in New York City, but I guess that makes driving in Los Angeles a piece of cake...

Lucky Lady123 · 12-29-2009, 01:15 PM

Driving in NYC is an experience and if you survive it then you can handle driving just about anywhere.

Dbl-r · 12-29-2009, 01:25 PM

OK...OK... so I flipped you off and cursed you, yay I get it that felt like I was almost there...

SATX56 · 12-29-2009, 02:00 PM

"Eyes Wide Open"

NY Annie · 12-29-2009, 02:06 PM

I am not a NY, I just live here. I learned to drive in Jersey, across the river from "the city", but I've driven in 30 states, some extensively and there is nothing like driving in NYC except Hudson and Bergen Counties, NJ which are only close. The acceptable speed on the Belt Parkinglot is 85, but I've never yet been able to even do 25 except, heading towards the city on a Saturday night (everyone's racing to get to the clubs) and then I stay right, do 70, and let the world pass me by. I've been called AJ and Leadfoot by those who know me and I do not try to compete with the idiots heading to the clubs.

Rush hours ARE 3 or more hours long. It starts here on SI around 4ish weekdays and isn't really over until between 7:30-8 pm. Morning rush hour starts at 5 and by 6 is full-blown. It really is over by 9:30, but then starts the daily traffic.

The big problem is that the lanes are not wide enough for most vehicles and few people actually stay in their lanes so driving really is like driving on a racetrack under construction with a blindfold on. Say your prayers and hope your insurance is paid up. If you're not comfortable driving with aggressive drivers and pedestrians, please stay off the roads - for your sake and ours.

NYers have a half hour window to be on time for their jobs (some lucky ones) and others are docked pay. They cannot afford to lose even 15 minutes of pay so get out of their way.

stillkit · 12-29-2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NY Annie

I am not a NY, I just live here. I learned to drive in Jersey, across the river from "the city", but I've driven in 30 states, some extensively and there is nothing like driving in NYC except Hudson and Bergen Counties, NJ which are only close. The acceptable speed on the Belt Parkinglot is 85, but I've never yet been able to even do 25 except, heading towards the city on a Saturday night (everyone's racing to get to the clubs) and then I stay right, do 70, and let the world pass me by. I've been called AJ and Leadfoot by those who know me and I do not try to compete with the idiots heading to the clubs.

Rush hours ARE 3 or more hours long. It starts here on SI around 4ish weekdays and isn't really over until between 7:30-8 pm. Morning rush hour starts at 5 and by 6 is full-blown. It really is over by 9:30, but then starts the daily traffic.

The big problem is that the lanes are not wide enough for most vehicles and few people actually stay in their lanes so driving really is like driving on a racetrack under construction with a blindfold on. Say your prayers and hope your insurance is paid up. If you're not comfortable driving with aggressive drivers and pedestrians, please stay off the roads - for your sake and ours.

NYers have a half hour window to be on time for their jobs (some lucky ones) and others are docked pay. They cannot afford to lose even 15 minutes of pay so get out of their way.

I don't know if it's much worse than the Dallas North Tollway. The yuppies from Frisco and McKinney come down the turnpike at 90-95 mph with a cell phone in hand and the Wall St. Journal in the other. God knows what they're using to steer, but you probably don't want to know.