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Unread 07-09-2008, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Earth
24,645 posts, read 12,745,339 times
Reputation: 11046
Quote:
Originally Posted by esselcue View Post
I did not say she lost her rights as an individual...I said she lost her right to live her life as she pleases. After I had my children I may have "pleased" to join a circus or take off across country in a VW bus or follow the surfing sun around the world, but I did not. I had children and my first duty was to be sure the life I chose was beneficial to them first & foremost. Once those kids were grown they had every right to life as they chose...UNTIL they brought kids of their own into the picture. It's a big responsibility.
But why not, it's a choice you made.
It was probably a wonderful choice for you.
What someone else does with their own life is not for you to judge.
I know it's difficult when it's your family member, but they're entitled to make choices for themselves and their family unit.
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Unread 07-10-2008, 02:16 PM
 
5,108 posts, read 7,053,952 times
Reputation: 3437
Quote:
Originally Posted by chielgirl View Post
But why not, it's a choice you made.
It was probably a wonderful choice for you.
What someone else does with their own life is not for you to judge.
I know it's difficult when it's your family member, but they're entitled to make choices for themselves and their family unit.
chielgirl is right on the mark here

the daughter is a grown woman with her own life. Adults of grown children are way out of line when they do things like the gentleman in the opening post here describes, such as telling the son in law to seek custody of the kids.

That is undermining his daughter's happiness, not supportive. It is way out of line. It is well beyond simple "concern" for his grandchildren, he is actively interfering and seeking to break up a marriage. I'd be furious and upset at any family member doing this.

So what if a grandparent disagrees with how his grandchildren are being raised? NOT THEIR BUSINESS, he needs to learn when to butt out because he is making things worse. He needs treatment for co-dependence.
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Unread 07-10-2008, 04:57 PM
 
8 posts, read 15,136 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja View Post
chielgirl is right on the mark here

the daughter is a grown woman with her own life. Adults of grown children are way out of line when they do things like the gentleman in the opening post here describes, such as telling the son in law to seek custody of the kids.

That is undermining his daughter's happiness, not supportive. It is way out of line. It is well beyond simple "concern" for his grandchildren, he is actively interfering and seeking to break up a marriage. I'd be furious and upset at any family member doing this.

So what if a grandparent disagrees with how his grandchildren are being raised? NOT THEIR BUSINESS, he needs to learn when to butt out because he is making things worse. He needs treatment for co-dependence.
Well, what you seem to be saying here is that my daughter can dow whatever she wants with her life. I agree, but NOT that she has a right to take minor children with her to join a cult! The husband has every right to try to protect children who are also HIS, and since I love those kids, as much as my daughter, I have every right to help him do what he must to save his kids, and my grandkids.

Would you feel differently if she was joing a sex club and planed to prostitute her kids, or if she was taking drugs and wanted to give them to the kids also? Actually, from what I have learned, on the website for those recovering from the cult, some ot this may also go on there.
Enlighten Me Free Home Page
Now that I have found this site, and am in contact with others who have been through it all, and survived, I will be leaving this site. Thank you to everyone for your input. Joe
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Unread 07-10-2008, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Earth
1,028 posts, read 1,052,321 times
Reputation: 626
Best of luck Joe.
I hope you and your daughter find stability and happiness in your lives.

Sincerely,
Aeroman
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Unread 07-13-2008, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Earth
24,645 posts, read 12,745,339 times
Reputation: 11046
Joe, from what you've written, I see your personal agenda at work here, not necessarily the good of that family unit. She's an adult woman with choices to make of her own for what she feels is best for herself and her family.

You are the outsider who is determined to control her.
This is not forcing underage sex or drugs on the kids. It pains me to think that you view them as the same.
It looks like you've lost any clarity and your emotions are taking over.
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Unread 07-13-2008, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
1,930 posts, read 1,806,547 times
Reputation: 768
Joe, you are doing the right thing--becoming informed and watching. You also recognize that beyond that, there's not much else you can do besides be supportive. I understand the roller coaster ride you've been on with an O/C child. Sounds like you've done a good job as your daughter has found a supportive, loving husband and has a good family.

I agree with Montanaguy in that it probably is harmless, other than taking their hard-earned money. Hang in there. There's an old saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. This organization is not an "enemy," but I think you get the point.
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Unread 07-13-2008, 05:25 PM
 
Location: In the North Idaho woods, still surrounded by terriers
2,178 posts, read 4,166,384 times
Reputation: 884
You know, I totally agree with the fact that adult children should be allowed to live their own lives...but in my case, let me be a bit more specific: the man my daughter has living with her is abusing my grandchildren and my daughter tolerates it because "she loves him so". Am I to sit back and say nothing and ignore the situation because my daughter is an adult and is supposed to know better? I just cannot do that... maybe you could, Chielgirl...but I can't.
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Unread 07-13-2008, 05:26 PM
 
3,761 posts, read 5,084,369 times
Reputation: 819
Quote:
Originally Posted by esselcue View Post
You know, I totally agree with the fact that adult children should be allowed to live their own lives...but in my case, let me be a bit more specific: the man my daughter has living with her is abusing my grandchildren and my daughter tolerates it because "she loves him so". Am I to sit back and say nothing and ignore the situation because my daughter is an adult and is supposed to know better? I just cannot do that... maybe you could, Chielgirl...but I can't.
I would tell my daughter that if she does not do something to stop this abuse of my grandchildren then I would.

And, Joe, if you fear for your grandchildren then do what you have to do to protect them.
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Unread 07-13-2008, 05:30 PM
 
Location: In the North Idaho woods, still surrounded by terriers
2,178 posts, read 4,166,384 times
Reputation: 884
That's what I have tried...and am still trying to do.
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Unread 03-18-2009, 08:51 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,950 times
Reputation: 10
Are you a Christian? This is very serious. You are dealing with demons. It does not matter if you believe in them or not because they are real and if you refuse to believe in them, there is nothing you can do for your daughter. PRAY! That is the most important and effective thing you can do. I would recommend you to read the book This Present Darkness by Frank E. Peretti. I resently finished it and it is all about a New Age Plot to subjecate the townspeople. The main character's daughter is involved in this New Age thing like your daughter. Take caution! Pray! I really hope you are a Christian because if you aren't, there is no hope for your daughter. And you can't just become a Christian for your daughter's sake. It doesn't work that way. Read the book, read a Bible daily, find a local Church, and PRAY! Make sure that the Church believes in spiritual beings and those sorts of things. Yes, sadly, there are many Churches that don't believe in the Holy Spirit or don't believe in demonic things. PRAY!!! I'll be praying for you and your daughter and her family. God bless you and help you! Ephesians 6:12, "12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Don't forget to read the book This Present Darkness. It will help you more than anything except prayer and God!
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