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Old 06-19-2007, 05:35 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,626,018 times
Reputation: 2236

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I have gotten compliments-usually from older people who were sitting near us, about how well behaved my two boys are. When we see other children acting up, my boys look at that table like they're crazy, because they know how to act.

One time, I had a table complain about me and my family, about a year ago. They were so WRONG, that the hostess stuck up for me, came to tell me about it, another elderly table heard her talking, and they stuck up for me too!

We were sitting in a booth, with our family of four, and my 6 year old and I were "playing" together.I would try to poke him and he would laugh. No jumping or crying or whining or moving around on the bench.

Well, after about 15 minutes (and believe me, we weren't playing for 15 minutes), the elderly couple got up behind us, went to the front, told the hostess they didnt come down south for this crap because that's what htey thought they were leaving behind in the north, and had themselves moved to a different table.

The hostess, along with our waitress, came to us with this story, said how appalled they were at the comments because for the past time they have observed abosultely nothing wrong and they couldn't believe it was said! Then another elderly table in the same section, who had been listening, leaned over and said they were the type of old people who give old people a bad name (they said it, not me!), and that our boys are behaving greatly, it obviously shows we're a close family, and not to even worry about that other table.

 
Old 06-19-2007, 05:53 AM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,562,567 times
Reputation: 2688
Quote:
Originally Posted by beth ann View Post
Moving Back to Pa.....I've got to say, I just read your post on the adhd threa about your adhd child a few minutes ago....you know the one where you empathized w/ Skoe regarding her child having public temper tanturms....you know, the one about you describing your son hitting his head against the wall....you know, the one where you said you've been there (referring to kids with adhd and all of it's behavioral problems that it presents) and told Skoe to hang in there.

I can't believe you're on this post "throwing stones" when you have described on another post that you have lived in a glass house.
How am I throwing stones?
I am simply refering to parents NOT Doing ANYTHING to calm their children down, and LET THEM GET HURT (see my above placed post!!!)
As skoe said, MOST people don't KNOW if peoples kids have ADD or ADHD.....
And, SORRY, but I repeat that good judgement is of great escence in situations like that.
Us parents know our children best....
When my son didn't have a good day, I took him to the park, instead of exposing him and make him sit in the movies.
When he had a temper tantrum, I isolated him to a place whenever it was humanly possible, because it was a much to violent sight for people to watch.
But, we are talking about behavior here in general,and THAT'S when the good judgement comes in of being in control over your children.
If my son was acting out so badly, I didn't have the thought of staying at a place, because abviously my son didn't have a good time, and I was ruining other peoples outing.
Why would I be so selfish?
THAT'S when the better judgement comes in......
So, how am I throwing stones again?

Last edited by MB2; 06-19-2007 at 05:56 AM.. Reason: typo
 
Old 06-19-2007, 07:29 AM
 
25,454 posts, read 23,266,873 times
Reputation: 15308
Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingBack2PA View Post
I witnessed a story, which will surely get your blood boiling as well.
Working at a supermarket one obsers A LOT...Let me tell you.
This one lady had her young child (3 or 4 at the time) in the shopping card itself, and NOT in the front fastened with seat belts.
The little girl carried on here tantrums, rocking the shopping card, jumping up and down....screaming, crying, kicking.
One of our employess went over, concerned, that the little girl was getting hurt, because the mother was looking at the meatcounter, turning a deaf ear and ignoring her little girl.
Well, long story short....the lady yelled at my co-worker to mind his own business, the shopping card tipped over, landing on the little girl, had to be rushed to the hospital with a broken arm, and had to get stitches in the forehead!!!!
It comes better, however, because that lady turned around and not only put in a complained against my co-worker, but also tried to sue the company!!!!
Justice was served, because we have AWESOME VIDEO CAMERAS!!!!

sheesh, like a co-worker friend of mine always says, you should have to take a test to be a parent....
 
Old 06-19-2007, 01:56 PM
 
3,077 posts, read 4,989,904 times
Reputation: 5300
The children didn't behave poorly, the adults did. Children will get loud, be physical and disruptive if left unchecked; they're children, that's sort of their job. The adults are the ones who understand socially acceptable behavior and are charged with the responsibility of enforcing it.

They didn't need to use physical force (Spanking? In 2007? Why?). They didn't need to leave the restaurant. They simply needed to be parents. My wife and I have always stayed on top of our boys. There have been times when their behavior fell short and we would remove them if necessary, calm them down and return to finish the meal. We have never let them leave their seats, scream, yell or do inappropriate things. And we would never let them gain control of the situation and force us to leave.

Raising kids is a hard job and a continuous one at that. If you can't manage your children in a public place then stay home and practice doing your job!
 
Old 06-19-2007, 06:07 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,310,307 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaneyland View Post
I just need to vent a little to parents. My lovely wife and I went to our favorite Mexican place for my birthday Friday and listened to 40 minutes of chatter, whining, screaming, and kicking from 3 children. Two women were with them, drinking beer while their little monsters carried on and on. (The beer drinking is another thing that got me steaming...) The ladies, and I use that term very sparingly in this case, just carried on as if nothing was happening. Please all, if you think its okay to let little ones behave terribly in public (or know someone that does), think of the others around you that really have no desire to listen, watch, and be annoyed by your little wonders. Whew, I feel better.
Shame on you...kids will be kids...thank goodness I have got handle on mine so as not to "offend" the type of adults who actually forget that.

And I take the kids to family friendly places as well as adult places with no problems whatsoever. We do resort vacations and make sure that we find a place that satisfies the adult tastes and also has plenty of childrens activities. I have removed them from situations AT MY choice, not because some "lookie loo" is rolling their eyes at me, but I call it good parenting.

As a mother, I have been offfended by others "little wonders" behavior and am left thinking "get a hold of your kid"..but on the other hand, I dont associate with those people, I dont let their negative energy even come into play, and me and dh make friends with other families who share our common interests.


I get complimented by fellow moms who stare and say "you actually can take your kids shopping with you (they are 7 and 2.6)"..and I am like yeah?

I guess I am the drill sarg of the home, because we have enforced good behavior!


Sorry to play devils advocate here, but I cant understand the "childish" behavior of a whining adult in a restaurant. Its tough enough raising kids under OUR eyes...mind you --now we have to worry Big Brother watching?
 
Old 06-19-2007, 06:57 PM
 
Location: State College PA
402 posts, read 1,993,833 times
Reputation: 255
My husband and I several times have had our meals (not even served yet!) boxed up because our children were not behaving well. We teach them a lot now (they're 2 and 4, so you can't expect a ton!) that if they're bad...we leave. (or heck, if they're good, they get dessert!).

It brought to mind a client recently that brought her...maybe 4 year old son into our office. He was hanging (how did he do that?) off the chair, hitting the dog (this is in the vet's office), hitting his mom, screaming....and acting like a spoiled little brat. Not ONCE did she try to put him back in line.

I view her as one of those modern 'hip' people that always have to give the child a choice, never strong discipline, never boundaries or direction...and it shows!! What a brat! He made my four year old look like an angel! (and she told me he was a brat!)
 
Old 06-19-2007, 07:00 PM
 
16,092 posts, read 35,775,631 times
Reputation: 6264
Eve Arden "Alligators have the right idea - they eat their young."
 
Old 06-19-2007, 07:35 PM
 
1,608 posts, read 9,022,416 times
Reputation: 936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaneyland View Post
I just need to vent a little to parents. My lovely wife and I went to our favorite Mexican place for my birthday Friday and listened to 40 minutes of chatter, whining, screaming, and kicking from 3 children. Two women were with them, drinking beer while their little monsters carried on and on. (The beer drinking is another thing that got me steaming...) The ladies, and I use that term very sparingly in this case, just carried on as if nothing was happening. Please all, if you think its okay to let little ones behave terribly in public (or know someone that does), think of the others around you that really have no desire to listen, watch, and be annoyed by your little wonders. Whew, I feel better.
The true words of someone that has not yet experienced parenting!

Sometimes my kids act up in public. You think I want them to? Not a chance. I cringe and hate when they act like that. But guess what.... they are children so it's bound to happen from time to time.

News flash - you acted up as a child in public too! Guaranteed. You are just too old to remember. Cut the parents some slack. Stop focusing on it and focus on your own night out. If it's that much of a bother just ask for a new table and move on with your life. If you haven't been a parent you have no clue how hard it can be sometimes to get kids to behave in public despite a parent's best efforts! They are kids, it happens. Some day when you have kids it will happen with yours. Treat those people how you want to be treated later on when it happens to you.

What a meany you are!
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:27 AM
 
25,454 posts, read 23,266,873 times
Reputation: 15308
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post
The true words of someone that has not yet experienced parenting!

Sometimes my kids act up in public. You think I want them to? Not a chance. I cringe and hate when they act like that. But guess what.... they are children so it's bound to happen from time to time.

News flash - you acted up as a child in public too! Guaranteed. You are just too old to remember. Cut the parents some slack. Stop focusing on it and focus on your own night out. If it's that much of a bother just ask for a new table and move on with your life. If you haven't been a parent you have no clue how hard it can be sometimes to get kids to behave in public despite a parent's best efforts! They are kids, it happens. Some day when you have kids it will happen with yours. Treat those people how you want to be treated later on when it happens to you.

What a meany you are!
Sorry I totally disagree....
and yes, maybe we did act up when we were children, but we got away with it once, and that was all...we wouldn't think of acting up...
Not to mention...I waitressed and the most dreadful and fearful part of being a waitress was carrying out trays of hot food and having to dodge kids and try to keep from dumping hot food all over them and the floor.
There is no excuse for kids misbehaving in public. None. And that is the difference in parenting today.

We took my mom out to dinner just a few weeks ago...she is 90. A group of eight young kids in there late teens sat behind us. They were so loud, it spoiled the dinner for us all, and my mom is very hard of hearing, so that gives you an idea of how loud and inappropriate they are. I kept turning around and looking at them, after each outburst and they didn't get the idea or even care that they made the eveing difficult for not only us, but for others who looked at us and shook their heads.

My brother in law, looked at one of the gals and put his finger to his lips as if to shush her, and they still didn't have a clue. And that is the result of bad parenting...parents who left their children go when they were little. There is a time and place for outside voices and running around...and there is a time, when a child has to learn to sit quietly and respect the space of others, using manners and an inside voice...period.

There is no excuse for children spoiling a night for someone else who is paying for a special event and evening out... None...

My son, would have never been allowed to be so disrespectful...and if he would have been, we'd have excused ourselves from the table and gone outside for a moment, so that I could ask him if he was confused about the way he was expected to behave in public....and then I'd say..."understood". And that was the end of that. If I had to ask him a 3rd time, he got a good swift hand on the butt! And that is not abuse, that is in fact, teaching a kid, there is a consequence for his actions.

Later in life, my son, told me....yanno ma...all my friends were afraid of you....and I said, "GOOD!" and replied, "it surely didn't keep them from coming to the house every weekend, did it? He smiled and said, "nope" When he joined the air force, he thanked me over and over again, for being strick. I'm glad I was.

Children are not our dolls, our toys, our best friends...they are, in fact our future, who will run this country when we are gone...and it is our responsibility to see to it, they are mature, respectable adults...if they don't respect themselves, they will possess, not one iota grain of respect for anyone else...and that is how morals and concern for other is lost...by not being a good parent!

Oh and sorry to say, children can be taught to not act up in public...

those same children who act up in public, grow up to believe it's ok to play their radios so loud you can hear them coming 6 blocks away...or pick your flowers, or let their cats & dogs loose to roam & **** all over your property...or sit outside talking loudly, playing loud music at all hours of the night...those same children grow up to be adults that are less then respectful for the property and quietude of others. They don't have a clue and don't care that they are disrupting the neighborhood, b/c they're parents sent them the wrong message, that it was ok to do so.

Thanks so much for this thread!!!!!

Last edited by cremebrulee; 06-20-2007 at 05:07 AM..
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:52 AM
 
434 posts, read 1,561,249 times
Reputation: 452
Bravo Cremebrulee, I couldn't agree more.
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