U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-11-2007, 07:35 AM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,341,822 times
Reputation: 848

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by treeg26 View Post
Correct! Every child is different and different consequences are required for each. My 2 kids only needed a good swat in the bathroom once while we were out and about. After that they knew they were not going to get away with bad behavior at the mall (or resturant). I do not spank/swat my step-kids. I had a nightmare trip to the mall with them once. We came home and Daddy heard of their behavior. They didn't get spanked, but were given a good "talking to", spent an hour in their room, and told that next time they wouldn't be getting off so easy. I must say, they KNOW Daddy will follow through. I hate to use the "What will Daddy say when I tell him", but it works with my step-kids!
So true! My step-father never spanked us either, but man there were times when I wished he just would. LOL. Him being mad and yelling was so much worse than a spanking. He didn't say anything abusive or anything like that, he was just really good a making us feel like, "Why the heck did we do that???" Aaaaahhhh-the memories.

 
Old 02-22-2008, 06:15 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
2,868 posts, read 8,444,336 times
Reputation: 1500
Hmmm...

Truely depends on the kids age... I have a friend who is dearly trying to instill good behavior in her 2 year old son. He is a monster all day everyday. So is she supposed to sit home because her son is out of control? I sure the hell wouldn't...

Kids go through phases. Sometimes parents can get control early. Sometimes they can't. ANYONE WITH KIDS KNOWS THIS.

This is America...get up and move instead of sitting there complaining and not enjoying yourself... Kudos for the moms having a beer. It sounds like they deserve it.
 
Old 02-22-2008, 07:03 AM
 
3,628 posts, read 9,024,457 times
Reputation: 2013
my favorite incident of a caretaker (i'm not sure if she was the parent or not) not paying a bit of attention to the kids was when I was riding the bus to work. these kids had just gotten off of school and they all herded on the bus. about 5 of them were sitting in the back, behind me. the person "in charge" was sitting in front of me. everything was fine for about two minutes, until they all started fooling around and screeching. it was SO LOUD that the bus driver kept looking back at them, making it hard for her to concentrate on the road. the caretaker just sat there, staring ahead, not doing anything about these screeching, nerve wracking kids.

next time i have to go through that, I will say something, and ask the kids if they want the bus driver to wreck the bus so we can all go to the hospital? oh, you don't? then sit down and shut it.
 
Old 02-22-2008, 03:16 PM
 
Location: San Antonio-Westover Hills
6,878 posts, read 17,812,151 times
Reputation: 5139
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post
The true words of someone that has not yet experienced parenting!

Sometimes my kids act up in public. You think I want them to? Not a chance. I cringe and hate when they act like that. But guess what.... they are children so it's bound to happen from time to time.

News flash - you acted up as a child in public too! Guaranteed. You are just too old to remember. Cut the parents some slack. Stop focusing on it and focus on your own night out. If it's that much of a bother just ask for a new table and move on with your life. If you haven't been a parent you have no clue how hard it can be sometimes to get kids to behave in public despite a parent's best efforts! They are kids, it happens. Some day when you have kids it will happen with yours. Treat those people how you want to be treated later on when it happens to you.

What a meany you are!
I gotta agree with you on this one. I used to be the same exact way as Delaneyland...then I was blessed from above with a child who has autism. Eating out isn't the huge challenge it is for many; we just have to time it right and it's all good. That doesn't mean she doesn't have her bad days...but people without kiddoes yet, all I can say is...just wait. When your day finally comes, try to smile through it, and remember we parents all understand. You can apologize to us later. *wink*
 
Old 02-22-2008, 03:53 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,242,086 times
Reputation: 5787
I had to take my child to the doctor this week (twice actually for being sick). The second visit was to her asthma specialist. The waiting room was not busy: us two, another mom w/ her 3 yo boy and then two boys about 8 & 10 by themselves. This room is NOT big but adequate. The two older boys were on one side throwing a cushioned block (about 10x10 in size) at each other. They were HURLING IT! I was like, okay and tried to ignore it. They continued to do so and were jumping all over the place. A couple of times it hit something on the wall and moved it, hit stuff on tables and knocked off, etc. Even hit the glass window for the reciptionist and knocked something off. The mother ended up being on the other side of the door checking out and popped her head out to "check on things" and that was it. Then when it hit the glass HARD again but even HARDER w/ it rattling like crazy she came out the door and stood there looking at the one boy saying real softly but in a weak voice not that under your breathe threatening whisper, "Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack I need you to look at me. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack please look at me. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack I need you to look at me." WTH!!!!!!!! Sorry but by the second time I've said my kids name and they are not even so much as looking my way I'd snatch them up. She then just told them to "be careful" and went back inside the door. She no longer had turned around they were back at it again. I guess she thinks she is being a "good parent" or something by being "nice" to her kids. Umm, no you are doing them and the rest of society a HUGE disservice by not making them behave properly. My daughter looked at me the first time and shook her head and she is only NINE!!! She even told the rest of the family at dinner about these two boys acting "awful" and breaking things.
 
Old 02-22-2008, 06:40 PM
 
43 posts, read 163,293 times
Reputation: 41
thats awful! The thing is though, by age 8 or 10 the damage is done. You have to start out from the toddler years, expecting your children to be respectful and teaching them how to behave.

We were at a theme park once, standing in line for a ride. This kid was about 6 or 7, he cuts infront of us (it was a huge line). I looked around for a parent and eventually spotted him, a guy standing by a wall talking on his cell phone ,not even concentrating on his son. Anyway, I gave the people in my party some snacks and this kid holds out his hand for one! I told him that he needed to ask the adult he was with for a snack. The kid got annoyed and went to tell the guy (who was still on the phone) and he shoots me a dirty look and hugs the kid! I didn't want to lose my spot in the line, otherwise I would have let the guy have it! who lets strangers give their kids snacks? let alone expects them! I hope it was some uncle without kids himself, I shudder to think how this boy will grow up if that was infact his Father!
 
Old 02-22-2008, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
1,917 posts, read 6,304,019 times
Reputation: 1957
I completely agree. As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children the rules of society. I have been extremly blessed with my 3 children. They never misbehave in public. I have had numerous encounters with older people and people in general that just come up to me and say "Your children are so well behaved..we didn't even realize there was a little one sitting behind us". I have never spanked my children. I don't yell at them, all I have to do is raise my voice a little and by the second time I ask them to do something they do it. I remember one time my middle child who was 2 at the time started to throw a tantrum at the grocery. I calmly told him I wasn't arguing with him in the store and I proceeded to the self check out. He followed me whining and I ignored him and kept walking to the door. He came running after me saying "I'm sorry mama". He never did it again
I guess I am just lucky.
Parents whose children act up in public just don't care. It's easier to let a kid do what he or she wants than to actually take the time to MODEL good behavior. "please, thank you, excuse me" all those things that kids nowadays don't say. All my kids' teachers frequently comment on how polite my boys are. I heard the same from my daughter's teachers. I guess some parents just don't want to bother teaching their kids that there are rules to live by in this life.
 
Old 02-23-2008, 01:55 PM
 
1,067 posts, read 5,032,517 times
Reputation: 543
We don't eat any where unless it is geared towards families because the last thing I would want to do is cause people to not enjoy their meals.. so we choose places that are loud, has kids menus and booths... then we purposely choose a corner away from others as much as possible.( Truly)

A mexican restaurant would be deemed family oreinted imo. and believe that couples who don't want the noise shouldn't choose places that are family oreinted to eat. This has been an issue for some of the couples in the town I live in currently.. but it has to do with too that Mckinney is a family town.

I have had my share of being humilated as a parent when the child doesn't behave and get up and leave. I have done it at cafes, shopping for groceries or at the mall. My oldest was difficult when she was a tot and did not know how to handle her emotions so we would leave and boy could I feel the judgement. I can remember when my son was a baby, he would be cooing in his stroller as I strolled him in the mall ( Oviedo, FL)and a woman walking, turning around and giving me the evil eye.

I just believe as a person we need to be compassionate towards people whose children misbehave.. it has always been a source of embarassement. The only times I could go without children were when I put them in preschool other than that, they were with me.

I can still remember how I was at Wal Mart ( Florida again) with my son who was sitting so good. The lady who was checking out another lady in front of me was bad mouthing a mother who left with her kids and did not attempt to shop with her head really low. They were going on about HOW DARE SHE BRING THEM INTO WALMART, SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BEFORE HAND I also heard WHAT BRATS, WHATS WRONG WITH HER , SHE CAN'T CONTRL HER OWN KIDS.. I chimmed in and told them that they don't know her. She might be alone and have no support. She might have to get something done quickly.. The cashier told me WHEN she had kids, that would never happen and the retired customer told me she always left when her kids misbehaved... I pointed out that she did. I was fumming.. when the older lady left, I told the cashier that one day she will reap what she sows... she told me she wouldn't because she was an aunt... how nice... I wonder if she has kids now.... learning the hard way.

It really does bother me about others being mean... it is judgement... hey even at the pediatiricians office I had to take my son outside to tell him to behave and my daughter who was inside sitting in a corner heard this woman tell everyone in the waiting room that is the most terrible kid she had ever seen and that I wasn't doing a good job. When I came in and I sat down with my son and my daughter came and told me, this woman had her eyes on the ceiling with a huge smirk on the face... and I just gave her a bad look! My son was sick, he wasn't acting well but I still took him out and told him how to behave and I still got judged. Lets get some compassion and maybe choose an exclusive restaurant to take the honey too instead of a family restaurant... Remember kids are just not seen, they are people too, they will be heard and sometimes heard when you don't want too, hey my youngest is a very easy going guy and he has had his moments... There still learning how to act and sometimes we just have to take them out, to the doctors office, out to shop and if they misbehave and the parent does something, don't still sit in judgement of them and be a little understanding that they too are embarrassed...
For the lady who did everything right and her children were acting like kids in the restaurant, and you got a comment like you did... She has a problem and she is what I would deem as rude... she probably is a miserable person to begin with..
 
Old 02-23-2008, 04:28 PM
b75
 
950 posts, read 3,120,440 times
Reputation: 329
My favorite incident was when a completely unobservant mother was letting her very bored kids run amok in the grocery store. As I was pulling out of the parking lot I guess the oldest did something to spark a reaction. So she started to smack him & he ran & she let go of her grocery cart with the baby in it rolling away while she chased this kid in front of my moving vehicle so she could get a good slap in. I almost ran them over but she was so oblivious & into hitting her kid that she didn't notice. Guess it goes to show that parents that hit don't necessarily discipline well.
 
Old 02-23-2008, 07:04 PM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,030,631 times
Reputation: 2248
Quote:
Originally Posted by momof2dfw View Post
I had to take my child to the doctor this week (twice actually for being sick). The second visit was to her asthma specialist. The waiting room was not busy: us two, another mom w/ her 3 yo boy and then two boys about 8 & 10 by themselves. This room is NOT big but adequate. The two older boys were on one side throwing a cushioned block (about 10x10 in size) at each other. They were HURLING IT! I was like, okay and tried to ignore it. They continued to do so and were jumping all over the place. A couple of times it hit something on the wall and moved it, hit stuff on tables and knocked off, etc. Even hit the glass window for the reciptionist and knocked something off. The mother ended up being on the other side of the door checking out and popped her head out to "check on things" and that was it. Then when it hit the glass HARD again but even HARDER w/ it rattling like crazy she came out the door and stood there looking at the one boy saying real softly but in a weak voice not that under your breathe threatening whisper, "Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack I need you to look at me. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack please look at me. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack I need you to look at me." WTH!!!!!!!! Sorry but by the second time I've said my kids name and they are not even so much as looking my way I'd snatch them up. She then just told them to "be careful" and went back inside the door. She no longer had turned around they were back at it again. I guess she thinks she is being a "good parent" or something by being "nice" to her kids. Umm, no you are doing them and the rest of society a HUGE disservice by not making them behave properly. My daughter looked at me the first time and shook her head and she is only NINE!!! She even told the rest of the family at dinner about these two boys acting "awful" and breaking things.
This must be what I've been hearing referred to as "Gentle Discipline" that so many moms in our area are currently advocating. It's driving many of us bonkers because none of us sees where "discipline" is coming in.

You're not supposed to yell at your child or address the behavior - you're supposed to appeal to them or redirect them. So, if they're behaving poorly you ask them, "Would you like to do an art project?" or "Why don't we get some cookies?" instead of addressing the bad behavior.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top