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Old 02-23-2008, 08:42 PM
TCK
 
Location: Rio Rancho, NM
167 posts, read 511,011 times
Reputation: 94

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I work in a library. Kids get excited coming to the library. That is great. What I notice about the kids that are brats is how their parents are. You have the kids that run though the whole library screaming. The parents say "will you please be good"? The kids keep running and screaming. The parents zone out. The kids play with the fire extinguisher and the Mom does not seem to notice or care. Every statement is a question or a suggestion.
The kids are making everyone leave and the Mom says "how about we go to the park?" Yes lets reward them for their inappropriate behavior. Twenty minutes go by and they are still saying "how about we leave now"? Stop trying to be your kids friends. Step up to the plate and be a parent. You have been blessed with these children and it is your responsibility to at least try to teach them.

What I feel is appropriate as a parent is this. Your kids are running and screaming. You catch up with them and get their attention and explain that you are not to run in the library or scream. If you do this again, you will not get a book and we will leave. We will go home. What is so hard about this?

 
Old 02-23-2008, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,893 posts, read 3,433,912 times
Reputation: 2329
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
Hmmm...

Truely depends on the kids age... I have a friend who is dearly trying to instill good behavior in her 2 year old son. He is a monster all day everyday. So is she supposed to sit home because her son is out of control? I sure the hell wouldn't...

Kids go through phases. Sometimes parents can get control early. Sometimes they can't. ANYONE WITH KIDS KNOWS THIS.

This is America...get up and move instead of sitting there complaining and not enjoying yourself... Kudos for the moms having a beer. It sounds like they deserve it.
Kudos to the moms for having a beer??? Shame on them for not trying to control their children. Having a beer is great if they control their kids at the same time.

My wife and I - we do not have children yet and honestly don't know if we will because of seeing the way that some children are raised today - were at a restaurant a while back. There was a table of 2 couples and 4 children (aged probably 3-7 years old. The parents sat on one side of the table the kids on the other. The youngest of their 'cherubs' shrieked, not talked loudly,shrieked for 30 minutes straight. What did these parents do - talked louder so they could hear each other. Meanwhile, my wife and I decided not to talk as we couldn't hear each other anyhow! Another woman sitting next to us, with her child, noticed our displeasure with the situation and came up to us jokingly and said "don't know what inside voices are I guess." She got her check and took her food home. Once these lovely little angels were done eating they got up and starting running around the table, still no word from the parents. Well, the "shrieker" jumped in the booth behind us and screamed, yes screamed in my wife's ear. My wife said very softly and politely "hey, hey, hey please don't scream." You may have thought that my wife stabbed him with a fork. The mother got up and scolded us for "yelling at her baby." The kid is 3 years old, he's not a baby sorry. And, my wife didn't yell. The mother went on and on about how we were out of line. We were out of line?! Their inexcusable parenting habits in a public place chased numerous patrons out of the restaurant but we are the bad guys!!

Well, thankfully they all left the restaurant in a huff and we were applauded by the servers and 2 other tables that we still in the restaurant.

And, no. We should not have to move tables or the restaurant because people are being irresponsible. I totally understand children can be difficult to control at times - I'm sure my mother would agree! As long as the parents are making an effort. But to be totally apathetic about your child's behavior is unacceptable.
 
Old 02-23-2008, 09:43 PM
TCK
 
Location: Rio Rancho, NM
167 posts, read 511,011 times
Reputation: 94
Bravo Redsoxfan! Have kids --you would be great parents.
 
Old 02-23-2008, 10:09 PM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,054,891 times
Reputation: 2249
Just more examples of "gentle discipline" and the mentality that their children can do no wrong, shouldn't be disciplined and to hell with anyone who might not find joy in the bratty behavior these parents have allowed to flourish.
 
Old 02-24-2008, 05:27 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,646,760 times
Reputation: 2241
I am tired of seeing the parents that treat their child's sporting event as a babysitting service. They drop their child off at say basketball, or dodgeball and either go exercise or go shopping, leaving their child unmonitored.

My two boys are in dodgeball. I would say out of the 24 or so boys, perhaps 8 parents (yes, not even half) are in attendance. The rest just drop them off and pick them up when the games are over. These are boys between the ages of 8-12. So the coach (and us parents) has to deal with the behavior of roughly 16 boys unsupervised.

We had a game yesterday. For the FIRST time EVER...my two boys had something of a little fist fight. Ever. Youngest is 7 and oldest is 12. They're on the same team and obviously did some trash tallking to each other about what the other should have done to be able to stay in the same game. They were sitting at the other end of the bench with their team while other kids were playing, so I didn't hear the start of the problem...but as I randomely look down to supervise my children, I see my youngest wacking away at the oldest! I couldn't believe my eyes! I see a parent sitting behind them start to reach down and try to intervene....probably thinking they didn't have a parent there...no worries...my butt was up, going down there, yanking them up and in full view taking them outside. Foudn out the situation, did some talking about dissappointed,disgusted at the behavior, and no electronics (TV, computer, game boy....) the rest of the day. And if it happened again, we were out of there (if this had happened before, I would have left right then, but this was the first time ever, in any situation, they had been hands on with each other so I didn't want to go overboard with the punishment).

Coincendentally, on another team, there were also 2 brothers. Well, as they were on the court, same day, we parents watch as the older brother slapped the younger brother in the face (closer age difference than my two). So of course this turns into a punching and kicking match with the younger one running out screaming of the court. NO parents. So the coach has to stop the game and chase after the boy, with the rest of the unsupervised children running after him to watch.

Usually, during the games, the children without parents are running around the court, running up and down the bleachers and screaming, grabbing the balls off of the court while the other children are playng....it's awful. The coach tries to control them, he tells them the rules...but it's hard to be involved in a game and control the children that aren't playing at the moment. Then my two are sitting down because I make them follow the rules and they are hating me because they see all of the other boys running around like monkeys despite the coach saying they have to sit down, and I'm the bad guy.
 
Old 02-24-2008, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,893 posts, read 3,433,912 times
Reputation: 2329
I hope there are more parents like you out there, mrshvo!!
 
Old 02-24-2008, 11:30 AM
b75
 
950 posts, read 3,127,674 times
Reputation: 329
Right I much prefer parents who dismiss the use of gentle discipline & instead expect their children to just be tolerant to whatever they are doing & then when they get overwhelmed & smack the kid upside the head they cause him to run in front of my moving car. I much prefer that type of discipline. Maybe if parents would just realize that chances are whatever situation they would have a hard time tolerating their younger child would have an even lesser ability to behave appropriately, and then I wouldn't have to deal with a bunch of whining, hitting, crying etc. Maybe if parents realized that shopping at the store was not a family event & instead left the kids home with one parent I wouldn't have to deal with your tired child kicking me in line or shrieking at a pitch that pierces my head in a way that no amount of excedrin could solve. Chances are if I am leaving work it is not a good time for your kids to be in the store. They are probably hungry, tired or both & not in the mood to be patient. Of course that would necessitate people thinking about someone else other then themselves & I don't see very much of that nowadays.
 
Old 02-24-2008, 11:38 AM
 
1,067 posts, read 5,044,929 times
Reputation: 543
Hey I missed the story about the cushions and gentle redirecting. I know someone that does that. Her kids are ok but I can't do that, it's not me.

The day my son misbehaved at the doctors office, I was so embarassed. He was telling others to get away from him and everything was his. He was around 4 at the time. I took him out and told him he had to come in and sit with us because he wasn't behaving. I really had to forcibly take him out. He came in and sat in his seat with his hands on his face. He was so upset and embarrassed. He didn't want anyone to see his face and when he got up to go with the nurse, he had his face down and tried hard to not make eye contact with anyone. I know kids can misbehave & we have to do something about it.

I have seen really bad kids misbehaving and nothing done and I don't think it is good they do nothing. They need to. I usually don't pay attention to people out with kids but if it is extreme then yes.. who wouldn't? But kids jabbering, laughing, wiggling in their seats, having fun to a baby crying, it doesn't bother me..

There was a little girl who interuppted our meal once at a mongolian grill and I told her to go back to her table. The kid was just wandering the restaurant. My daughter thought it was nice for her to come to our table. I thought it was rude that her parents let her do that and ignore her. She was making bad jokes to us and just walking around... I don't agree with that. I finally went over to her parents table who were all with friends absorbed in a conversation and told them what their child was doing. The girl went and sat down then and just wiggled.

So I guess my point is, know that even the best of kids can have meltdowns, misbehave sometimes in public, know that parents do get embarrassed by their children's behavior and yes finally there are some out there who just let them do whatever which yes I don't agree with...
 
Old 02-24-2008, 02:18 PM
 
8,893 posts, read 4,063,426 times
Reputation: 5567
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrshvo View Post
I am tired of seeing the parents that treat their child's sporting event as a babysitting service. They drop their child off at say basketball, or dodgeball and either go exercise or go shopping, leaving their child unmonitored.

My two boys are in dodgeball. I would say out of the 24 or so boys, perhaps 8 parents (yes, not even half) are in attendance. The rest just drop them off and pick them up when the games are over. These are boys between the ages of 8-12. So the coach (and us parents) has to deal with the behavior of roughly 16 boys unsupervised.

We had a game yesterday. For the FIRST time EVER...my two boys had something of a little fist fight. Ever. Youngest is 7 and oldest is 12. They're on the same team and obviously did some trash tallking to each other about what the other should have done to be able to stay in the same game. They were sitting at the other end of the bench with their team while other kids were playing, so I didn't hear the start of the problem...but as I randomely look down to supervise my children, I see my youngest wacking away at the oldest! I couldn't believe my eyes! I see a parent sitting behind them start to reach down and try to intervene....probably thinking they didn't have a parent there...no worries...my butt was up, going down there, yanking them up and in full view taking them outside. Foudn out the situation, did some talking about dissappointed,disgusted at the behavior, and no electronics (TV, computer, game boy....) the rest of the day. And if it happened again, we were out of there (if this had happened before, I would have left right then, but this was the first time ever, in any situation, they had been hands on with each other so I didn't want to go overboard with the punishment).

Coincendentally, on another team, there were also 2 brothers. Well, as they were on the court, same day, we parents watch as the older brother slapped the younger brother in the face (closer age difference than my two). So of course this turns into a punching and kicking match with the younger one running out screaming of the court. NO parents. So the coach has to stop the game and chase after the boy, with the rest of the unsupervised children running after him to watch.

Usually, during the games, the children without parents are running around the court, running up and down the bleachers and screaming, grabbing the balls off of the court while the other children are playng....it's awful. The coach tries to control them, he tells them the rules...but it's hard to be involved in a game and control the children that aren't playing at the moment. Then my two are sitting down because I make them follow the rules and they are hating me because they see all of the other boys running around like monkeys despite the coach saying they have to sit down, and I'm the bad guy.
Sad not to see parents at their kids games. Why sign them up if they don't stay for practice or the games???
 
Old 02-24-2008, 07:27 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 3,238,171 times
Reputation: 485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denise in Fla View Post
Sad not to see parents at their kids games. Why sign them up if they don't stay for practice or the games???
I suppose it depends on the child's age.

I sign my school age children up for activities they enjoy - not for me. Depending on whether its a practice or a game, on what I need to get done, etc. I'll stay or go. I'm not the one in the activity - and I don't need to sit there and wave as they do drills.

There are certain other activities for my children that I am very involved in and help out a lot. I don't mind seeing parents drop off, but I don't likewhen they don't touch base with the program leader about how things are going.
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