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Old 06-20-2007, 09:52 AM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,568,198 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Sorry I totally disagree....
and yes, maybe we did act up when we were children, but we got away with it once, and that was all...we wouldn't think of acting up...
Not to mention...I waitressed and the most dreadful and fearful part of being a waitress was carrying out trays of hot food and having to dodge kids and try to keep from dumping hot food all over them and the floor.
There is no excuse for kids misbehaving in public. None. And that is the difference in parenting today.

We took my mom out to dinner just a few weeks ago...she is 90. A group of eight young kids in there late teens sat behind us. They were so loud, it spoiled the dinner for us all, and my mom is very hard of hearing, so that gives you an idea of how loud and inappropriate they are. I kept turning around and looking at them, after each outburst and they didn't get the idea or even care that they made the eveing difficult for not only us, but for others who looked at us and shook their heads.

My brother in law, looked at one of the gals and put his finger to his lips as if to shush her, and they still didn't have a clue. And that is the result of bad parenting...parents who left their children go when they were little. There is a time and place for outside voices and running around...and there is a time, when a child has to learn to sit quietly and respect the space of others, using manners and an inside voice...period.

There is no excuse for children spoiling a night for someone else who is paying for a special event and evening out... None...

My son, would have never been allowed to be so disrespectful...and if he would have been, we'd have excused ourselves from the table and gone outside for a moment, so that I could ask him if he was confused about the way he was expected to behave in public....and then I'd say..."understood". And that was the end of that. If I had to ask him a 3rd time, he got a good swift hand on the butt! And that is not abuse, that is in fact, teaching a kid, there is a consequence for his actions.

Later in life, my son, told me....yanno ma...all my friends were afraid of you....and I said, "GOOD!" and replied, "it surely didn't keep them from coming to the house every weekend, did it? He smiled and said, "nope" When he joined the air force, he thanked me over and over again, for being strick. I'm glad I was.

Children are not our dolls, our toys, our best friends...they are, in fact our future, who will run this country when we are gone...and it is our responsibility to see to it, they are mature, respectable adults...if they don't respect themselves, they will possess, not one iota grain of respect for anyone else...and that is how morals and concern for other is lost...by not being a good parent!

Oh and sorry to say, children can be taught to not act up in public...

those same children who act up in public, grow up to believe it's ok to play their radios so loud you can hear them coming 6 blocks away...or pick your flowers, or let their cats & dogs loose to roam & **** all over your property...or sit outside talking loudly, playing loud music at all hours of the night...those same children grow up to be adults that are less then respectful for the property and quietude of others. They don't have a clue and don't care that they are disrupting the neighborhood, b/c they're parents sent them the wrong message, that it was ok to do so.

Thanks so much for this thread!!!!!

OMGosh...you have said it so much better, then I would ever have!
Parents need to get in control, and STAY there!
But, there are still parents out there in total denial, and with blinders over their eyes, and cotton balls in their ears (I know, because I was ONE of them!)
I agree with you.....I was just never selfish enough to ruin other peoples night out, when my son was acting up so bad. Everybody has a right to enjoy themselves, and parents are the once who have to determine when the situation reaches the bountery of "having a good" time (that includes the child, parents as well as other guests you are exposing yourself to!)
Again, I couldn't agree more.....Well, put!

 
Old 06-20-2007, 10:13 AM
 
110 posts, read 708,315 times
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I'm an "old fuddy duddy" of 57 who became a parent at age 35, so I've been on both sides of the fence.

As a mom, I had the same tolerance level of noisy misbehaving kids as I did when I was child-free, which was VERY LITTLE. Never allowed my child to be noisy, bratty, or other than Miss-Manners civilized in a restaurant, movies, or any other place where there were more adults than kids.

I still feel the same way except that now I have even LESS tolerance for it than I used to. So the whole "once you become a parent, you'll be more tolerant" thing isn't always true.

If I were in a restaurant where kids were acting up enough to bother me, I'd ask to move to "a quieter table". I did that before I had kids, I did that WHEN I had a youngster, and I'd do it again now.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 10:58 AM
 
25,475 posts, read 23,300,409 times
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well.....
I spanked my son 3 times in his life...and it was the most difficult thing I ever did, but it worked. I was a mother to, a single mother...and I cannot stand any kid that is independently bad. i.e., simply does what he/she wants to do regardless of the feelings of others. My son had all his friends at our home, all the time...I was a youth group advisor and a 7th grade sunday school teacher. I told each kid, my home is yours...you go to the refrigerator and get something to eat and/or drink like it's your own....but you screw up bad....and your gone...forever! They were boys and like I said, kids need to learn to be respectful of the property & space of others. But then, I'm not into cell phones either, which to me is the absolute most rude device on this earth....which most people deem it necessary to carry on a personal conversation in a public place and think nothing of it....which is just my point. There is no respect for another person's personal space anymore.

When we went out to dinner, as children, we were taught to whisper...and/or talk quietly...so as not to disturb the other people around us.

I to, have commented on how well behaved children are when I see them...you can tell the good kids....when the parents take the time to discipline. And I'm proud of them for doing so, and the kids are great kids, enjoyable to be around.

also, why don't we leave the resturant? We were half way through the meal...and what we should have done was complain to the establishment. It wasn't a buffet place....it was a $29.00 a plate and up place. And no, I shouldn't have to leave because kids are screaming so loud, I couldn't hear what our party was saying to each other. And if your kids are going to be that bad, then I suggest you guys stay home and cook out, yanno?

Yes, Kids are kids...but they should be taught respect for someone else's private space....and to whisper when they are out to dinner.

Frankly 2007 or not, kids and parenting is still the same....and children should be taught to behave in public....that is no reasoning what-so-ever...it's 2007 so don't spank your kids?

Oh, and I have an ex sister in law who is not only a school teacher but also a pysciatrist....
she is a lot younger then myself...her kids are enjoyable, and can go anywhere.
do you know, there are very few, very few, legitimate medical cases of over active children, who have been given riddiline? Most of those kids are simply behavoral problems, that haven't been disciplined...point being, the child just wasn't taught to accept no or how to behave in public.

Now, in regards to a child who has a medical problem, that is a whole different ballgame, but, they shouldn't be allowed to run all over the place....what if they caused a waitress to dump a tray of hot soup all over them...then who would be at fault. Or what if they ran into a woman or man who was eating and caused them to end up with food or a drink in their laps? or worse yet, hot coffee?????

I worked with physically handicaped kids and they were extremely gifted loving children...so I'm not an old fuddy who doesn't know what she is talking about, nor am I someone who beat her child and caused him to be scarred for life. There is nothing wrong with spanking a kids behind...period! What kind of consequence does one resort to when kids really do something wrong...loose their telephone rights.

I had a hairdresser that complained all the time about her daughter, and how bad she was. She to, believed that you never spanked your kid....that child ran all over her, and even ran away from home, with boys...much older. She as a mother, took away her posters....??????? I told her if it were me, I'd go to her room, take the TV, the Computer and all her other conveniences which take the place of a parent and throw them right out the 2nd floor window. Children have to realize a consequence for their actions....if they don't, then anything goes with them, and they grow up to be disrespectful adults.

I know a lot of parents today, do not want to deal with discipline...they don't know how....and like a friend of mine at work says, "You should have to take a test to be a parent"

Shame on anyone who thinks it's ok for their kids to disrupt another person's meal that they are paying for...and we're not talking diner food here...we're talking fine dinning. We go out to dinner a lot, to rest, to meet, to relax for a couple of hours, to tell stories, to hug and to enjoy the ambiance of the establishment...and we don't expect to be made to deal with kids that cannot behave...

You cannot excuse bad behavior....kids if not taught from a little age, and taught why will grow up thinking it's ok to disrupt someone else's life, to act out, to do and say and feel whatever they want publically, and it is not right...restraight of emotions is a very good exercise. If not taught that, people react instead of thinking first.

Sheesh, even Barney teaches to use the inside voice?

Last edited by cremebrulee; 06-20-2007 at 11:10 AM..
 
Old 06-20-2007, 11:08 AM
 
25,475 posts, read 23,300,409 times
Reputation: 15343
Default Bravo

Quote:
Originally Posted by birdrgal View Post
I'm an "old fuddy duddy" of 57 who became a parent at age 35, so I've been on both sides of the fence.

As a mom, I had the same tolerance level of noisy misbehaving kids as I did when I was child-free, which was VERY LITTLE. Never allowed my child to be noisy, bratty, or other than Miss-Manners civilized in a restaurant, movies, or any other place where there were more adults than kids.

I still feel the same way except that now I have even LESS tolerance for it than I used to. So the whole "once you become a parent, you'll be more tolerant" thing isn't always true.

If I were in a restaurant where kids were acting up enough to bother me, I'd ask to move to "a quieter table". I did that before I had kids, I did that WHEN I had a youngster, and I'd do it again now.

I applaud you, your kids are the type of kids that adults enjoy being around....my cousins kids were the same, very well behaved, mature, enjoyable kids....even when they were toddlers. Those are the kids you like to hug...you enjoy taking them everywhere with you....and it's so nice when someone stops and talks to them and says, boy he/she/they are so well behaved...those are the rewards I'm talking about...you can't beat it.

You will always and forever receive rewards, for this...it always comes back to you....thanks mom for your concern for others, for being a good mom, and for your greatness!

Last edited by cremebrulee; 06-20-2007 at 11:17 AM..
 
Old 06-20-2007, 01:25 PM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,912 times
Reputation: 324
I have never ever spanked my children and the youngest one I only yelled at once . I believe parents should immediately take the brat out when they misbehave and no I do not care whether the child is autistic or not. I never took my children to any kind of restaurant when they were tired or cranky and who in the hell wants kids that do not wash thier hands in the food at a buffet when it clearly says CHILDREN MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A PARENT. I have seen children behave in all restaurants from Berns on down to Mc donalds including autistic children. I am more tolerant of children in Mcdonalds just grab bag and go. I will not tolerate children that cause disruptions, nor will my daughters, we pay for an expensive meal or a cheap one not to have disruptive children or adults spoil our evening or afternoon. If you can't control your child stay home. . Most of the time the only people that think the child is cute is the parents. If the restaurant can't get the child to behave then I deserve my money back. We have smoke free restaurants why not child free? When I had my business I wished I could have made it child free also, bad enough I had to stop selling child items because of the destruction that parents let thier children do. If you can't control them now, good luck when they are teenagers.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,223 posts, read 57,365,082 times
Reputation: 52083
What kind of restaurant it was, what the occasion was, or why the moms were out with their kids is simply irrelevant. There's simply no excuse for the mothers to allow their children to disrupt Delaneyland's meal -- or anyone else's meal. Chatter is one thing; an occasional disruption can be overlooked if the parent(s) handle the matter right away. But 40 minutes of kicking and screaming should not be tolerated by any parent or caregiver.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 01:46 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,314,190 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
What kind of restaurant it was, what the occasion was, or why the moms were out with their kids is simply irrelevant. There's simply no excuse for the mothers to allow their children to disrupt Delaneyland's meal -- or anyone else's meal. Chatter is one thing; an occasional disruption can be overlooked if the parent(s) handle the matter right away. But 40 minutes of kicking and screaming should not be tolerated by any parent or caregiver.

Actually I think its quite relavent...because it WAs Delaneylands meal, his anniversary with his wife and the restaurant of HIS choosing.

Likewise it was the mothers place to eat a meal, the mothers choosing to go out with one another and the restaurant of their choosing.

Both people chose the same place..the problem is that one couple chose to let another ones kids disrupt their event, thus causing a miff on his end about letting all the well meaning and good parents out there to "please control our brats."


At the end of the day, we all want our kids to behave, no one walks into a restaurant thinking "Gee I wish my kid will have a tantrum right now".

But its the parenting method, the steps taking to prevent the meltdown, the mood before the kids walked in, the type of restaurant they chose that affects a meal.

I dont know about the rest of the posters..but I dont have that much time to
analyze the logistics of a restaurant before I walk in. If I want to eat there, then I do..period. I understand and accept responsibility if the other patrons choose to act a certain way as its their right to do so--its called being tolerant, non-judgemental and recognizing that this is still a free country--I think and we can eat and dine where we choose.

I love children dearly..and quite frankly its a sore spot for me when I hear them being spanked, called brats or the like.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 02:38 PM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,568,198 times
Reputation: 2688
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
What kind of restaurant it was, what the occasion was, or why the moms were out with their kids is simply irrelevant. There's simply no excuse for the mothers to allow their children to disrupt Delaneyland's meal -- or anyone else's meal. Chatter is one thing; an occasional disruption can be overlooked if the parent(s) handle the matter right away. But 40 minutes of kicking and screaming should not be tolerated by any parent or caregiver.
Myself and ton's of others, applaud you for being so curtious, minding good manners and letting others enjoy a well deserved meal in peace!
Thank you....it is appreciated!
 
Old 06-20-2007, 02:42 PM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,912 times
Reputation: 324
I do like kids a lot well behaved kids, the one that do not behave are brats, sorry if it walks like a duck talks like a duck and acts like a duck its a duck, if it walks like a brat talks like a brat and acts like a brats its a brat with bad parents. What does one call a child that misbehaves? A convict, a jailbird, a prisoner, inmate or delinquent? Its time that we take off rose colored glasses and call a spade a spade.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 02:53 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,314,190 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexander59 View Post
I do like kids a lot well behaved kids, the one that do not behave are brats, sorry if it walks like a duck talks like a duck and acts like a duck its a duck, if it walks like a brat talks like a brat and acts like a brats its a brat with bad parents. What does one call a child that misbehaves? A convict, a jailbird, a prisoner, inmate or delinquent? Its time that we take off rose colored glasses and call a spade a spade.
I agree with you alexander..but calling all children brats is such a derogatory term. Why not a misbehaved child then or how about a a child who is getting ancy, or ? Would you call a women that you dont like a *****.

Or conversely call man who is being a jerk an ass?

I dont think so. And kids that act up later on in life usually have been allowed to act up as children. Nip in the budd I say, but dont have children if you are going to treat them and others like bratts and spank them. Chances are they will grow up and treat there kids the same way....
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