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Old 06-20-2007, 03:39 PM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,568,198 times
Reputation: 2688

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Quote:
I agree with you alexander..but calling all children brats is such a derogatory term. Why not a misbehaved child then or how about a a child who is getting ancy, or ? Would you call a women that you dont like a *****.
I am so sorry NOT to agree with you, and I am choosing to "title" a certain child a brat (and I am a parent).
I think there is a slight difference between a misbehaved child (which CAN be disziplined), and a brat.....With brat being the WORSE.
And on that note, for some other kids and their parents, I have NO WORDS for.......because I'm just puzzled and speechless.

 
Old 06-20-2007, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 16,973,335 times
Reputation: 4690
Amen!!! My kids weren't perfect but they knew the guidelines for public behavior. IF they couldn't follow the guidelines-we left. IF we left they knew there were consequences. Enough said.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC2RDU View Post
The children didn't behave poorly, the adults did. Children will get loud, be physical and disruptive if left unchecked; they're children, that's sort of their job. The adults are the ones who understand socially acceptable behavior and are charged with the responsibility of enforcing it.

They didn't need to use physical force (Spanking? In 2007? Why?). They didn't need to leave the restaurant. They simply needed to be parents. My wife and I have always stayed on top of our boys. There have been times when their behavior fell short and we would remove them if necessary, calm them down and return to finish the meal. We have never let them leave their seats, scream, yell or do inappropriate things. And we would never let them gain control of the situation and force us to leave.

Raising kids is a hard job and a continuous one at that. If you can't manage your children in a public place then stay home and practice doing your job!
 
Old 06-20-2007, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 16,973,335 times
Reputation: 4690
I have a friend() who has a 9 year old daughter and the child is an out of control brat. She "tried" jumping up and down on my new furniture; jumping from one piece of furniture to another, actually grabbed my face in her hands in order to interrupt a conversation her mom and I were having;she screams and is rude. Her mom thinks it's cute. I think her mom is a lazy,sorry parent. I told her she could not bring the child back to my home.
I don't think her mom is going to be calling it cute when the brat enters her teens. Lord help us all then!



Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingBack2PA View Post
I am so sorry NOT to agree with you, and I am choosing to "title" a certain child a brat (and I am a parent).
I think there is a slight difference between a misbehaved child (which CAN be disziplined), and a brat.....With brat being the WORSE.
And on that note, for some other kids and their parents, I have NO WORDS for.......because I'm just puzzled and speechless.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Here + There = Everywhere
415 posts, read 624,282 times
Reputation: 118
A lot of stupid parents had stupid parents themselves and are clueless as to what is acceptable and what is not.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 4,997,252 times
Reputation: 843
Ok...here we go.

I was a food server for many, many years and can recount too many horror stories about parents who allowed their children to climb over booths and run around the restaurant, disrupting other tables and causing a serious risk to everyone involved. I have seen waiters trip over kids. I have seen oblivious parents who somehow think it is everyone else's job to mind (or NOT MIND) their children.

Back then, however, there was still some backbone and management would take it upon themselves to politely request that the table monitor their children, citing danger to the child and discomfort to other diners.
I, as the maitresse'd had to do this myself a few times. If the party continued to be discourteous, they were asked TO LEAVE.

Everyone who enters the restaurant is entitled, by matter of paying a fee for service, to a pleasant dining experience. The restaurant has a dress requirement and a code of conduct.

(I'm not talking about Applebees.)

Fast forward 20 years or so...

Children will be children...sure. I have one of my own. And when she gets feisty, I deal with it. Nicely. Efficiently.
And if there is no calming her - if it has been a really bad day - we go home. Ask for a doggy bag. Gotta go.

Truth told, when she's in a bad way, the on/off switch having already been thrown - we don't go out.

When a child acts up, kindly take him/her outside right then and have a discussion about appropriate behavior and consequences for anything less. FOLLOW THROUGH.

If it's an upset baby, again - OUTSIDE or to the restroom and soothe them, instead of ignoring it.

Grant some time after dinner for venting all the energy stored during the meal. A reward for being so good!

Also, and this is really easy - pay some attention to your kid! Make it FUN for them, involve them in the conversation and give them something to keep them occupied - bring a doodle pad or etch-a-sketch.
Order their food first - most servers understand an eating child is a happy child.

If you want to have a girls-night-out social hour and a few cocktails - SORRY - that is not the right environment for your child and it is unrealistic to expect them to tolerate the boredom. Therefore, hire a babysitter or YOU and your pals have a cocktail party at home where the kids can play together and so can you.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:54 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,314,190 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by northernexposure View Post
I have a friend() who has a 9 year old daughter and the child is an out of control brat. She "tried" jumping up and down on my new furniture; jumping from one piece of furniture to another, actually grabbed my face in her hands in order to interrupt a conversation her mom and I were having;she screams and is rude. Her mom thinks it's cute. I think her mom is a lazy,sorry parent. I told her she could not bring the child back to my home.
I don't think her mom is going to be calling it cute when the brat enters her teens. Lord help us all then!

I think we all have friends that have ancy kids like that. I have one...two boys(not being stereotypical..just mentioning gender for this post)...10 and 5....and "mom" is an enabler..her method of discipline is sticking her 5 year old with a box of russell stovers or whitmans chocolate boxes so she can "just have a cup of coffee in piece"..and then cried to me when at the dentists office told her that her 4 year old (at the time) had 9 cavities and root canal and the pediatrician said that her 10 year old is already obese.

I have girls 7 and 2 and another on the way. So needless to say, besides ages, our children are different genders and are at that weird age where they just want to have tea parties or play star wars....perfectly acceptable.

My kids have been physically hurt at her place because of the enabling approach, and I have had to take tylenol when I came back.

And unless she is ready to hear my raw opinion and asks for it. I dont give it. I dont need the negative energy in my life.

What I have done is just distanced myself from her..and just dont encourage playdates and the like.

I dont agree with her style of parenting, but its not my place to tell her that. So instead of fume the situation I just difused it by not doing playdates, we dont do lunches and I think she has gotten the hint. I am sorry that I had to lose a great friend, but my kids come first and I dont want them to be influenced by enabling attitude.

But I still stand firm on the stance that kids will have their moments and its up to us as parents to make sure we catch it early and understand that no one is perfect.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 04:54 PM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,568,198 times
Reputation: 2688
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33458 View Post
Ok...here we go.

I was a food server for many, many years and can recount too many horror stories about parents who allowed their children to climb over booths and run around the restaurant, disrupting other tables and causing a serious risk to everyone involved. I have seen waiters trip over kids. I have seen oblivious parents who somehow think it is everyone else's job to mind (or NOT MIND) their children.

Back then, however, there was still some backbone and management would take it upon themselves to politely request that the table monitor their children, citing danger to the child and discomfort to other diners.
I, as the maitresse'd had to do this myself a few times. If the party continued to be discourteous, they were asked TO LEAVE.

Everyone who enters the restaurant is entitled, by matter of paying a fee for service, to a pleasant dining experience. The restaurant has a dress requirement and a code of conduct.

(I'm not talking about Applebees.)

Fast forward 20 years or so...

Children will be children...sure. I have one of my own. And when she gets feisty, I deal with it. Nicely. Efficiently.
And if there is no calming her - if it has been a really bad day - we go home. Ask for a doggy bag. Gotta go.

Truth told, when she's in a bad way, the on/off switch having already been thrown - we don't go out.

When a child acts up, kindly take him/her outside right then and have a discussion about appropriate behavior and consequences for anything less. FOLLOW THROUGH.

If it's an upset baby, again - OUTSIDE or to the restroom and soothe them, instead of ignoring it.

Grant some time after dinner for venting all the energy stored during the meal. A reward for being so good!

Also, and this is really easy - pay some attention to your kid! Make it FUN for them, involve them in the conversation and give them something to keep them occupied - bring a doodle pad or etch-a-sketch.
Order their food first - most servers understand an eating child is a happy child.

If you want to have a girls-night-out social hour and a few cocktails - SORRY - that is not the right environment for your child and it is unrealistic to expect them to tolerate the boredom. Therefore, hire a babysitter or YOU and your pals have a cocktail party at home where the kids can play together and so can you.
Bravo...EXACTLY what I am talking about......a bratty, out of control and ignored child creating a fiasko nightmare and safety hazzard for others!
Nice to know, someone is backing up/ sharing my views as valid, and NOT as being a mean parent "monster"
 
Old 06-20-2007, 05:00 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,314,190 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33458 View Post
Ok...here we go.

I was a food server for many, many years and can recount too many horror stories about parents who allowed their children to climb over booths and run around the restaurant, disrupting other tables and causing a serious risk to everyone involved. I have seen waiters trip over kids. I have seen oblivious parents who somehow think it is everyone else's job to mind (or NOT MIND) their children.

Back then, however, there was still some backbone and management would take it upon themselves to politely request that the table monitor their children, citing danger to the child and discomfort to other diners.
I, as the maitresse'd had to do this myself a few times. If the party continued to be discourteous, they were asked TO LEAVE.

Everyone who enters the restaurant is entitled, by matter of paying a fee for service, to a pleasant dining experience. The restaurant has a dress requirement and a code of conduct.

(I'm not talking about Applebees.)

Fast forward 20 years or so...

Children will be children...sure. I have one of my own. And when she gets feisty, I deal with it. Nicely. Efficiently.
And if there is no calming her - if it has been a really bad day - we go home. Ask for a doggy bag. Gotta go.

Truth told, when she's in a bad way, the on/off switch having already been thrown - we don't go out.

When a child acts up, kindly take him/her outside right then and have a discussion about appropriate behavior and consequences for anything less. FOLLOW THROUGH.

If it's an upset baby, again - OUTSIDE or to the restroom and soothe them, instead of ignoring it.

Grant some time after dinner for venting all the energy stored during the meal. A reward for being so good!

Also, and this is really easy - pay some attention to your kid! Make it FUN for them, involve them in the conversation and give them something to keep them occupied - bring a doodle pad or etch-a-sketch.
Order their food first - most servers understand an eating child is a happy child.

If you want to have a girls-night-out social hour and a few cocktails - SORRY - that is not the right environment for your child and it is unrealistic to expect them to tolerate the boredom. Therefore, hire a babysitter or YOU and your pals have a cocktail party at home where the kids can play together and so can you.
Awesome advice....just be armed and ready, pick your battles when you can make it a pleasant dining experience...and as far as MNO (mothers night out) sans kids is the way to go...although I have been to lunches (cheesecake factory)..which in our area..has FAMILY plastered all over it...which makes it a popular hangout for the moms for lunches..where women have had a glass of wine..but its not in a happy hour, sit at the table for 3 hours sort of way. More like in luncy kind of way....in and out within an hour or hour and half..when kids usually get ancy.


BTW..we have memorized the "generic" menu that is on most menus...LOL

grilled cheese, pasta, chicken and french fries....LOL So we order the kids meals with our appetizers or when they take our drink order....get the crayons out and the coloring book....pasta on the table..and we are good to go.

Great tips!
 
Old 06-20-2007, 05:02 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,314,190 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingBack2PA View Post
I am so sorry NOT to agree with you, and I am choosing to "title" a certain child a brat (and I am a parent).
I think there is a slight difference between a misbehaved child (which CAN be disziplined), and a brat.....With brat being the WORSE.
And on that note, for some other kids and their parents, I have NO WORDS for.......because I'm just puzzled and speechless.
Dont be sorry NOT to agree with ME-- I am not going to apolgize for my beliefs at all....stand proud with your opinion. This forum is a great way to hear what other people really think. I have learned something too..that we are all judged..no matter how good or bad you are as a parent...and that you cannot go thru life trying to please anyone but yourself.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,262 posts, read 16,973,335 times
Reputation: 4690
which is why I think people should be licensed to be parents.
Being clueless due to stupidity is a scary prospect and makes for terribly incapable parents.



Quote:
Originally Posted by propertyhogs View Post
A lot of stupid parents had stupid parents themselves and are clueless as to what is acceptable and what is not.
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