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Old 06-20-2007, 07:30 PM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,629,332 times
Reputation: 2236

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I am surprised at some of the parents on here that are, in a way, condoning improper behavior of children at restuarants saying that they know that other people are coming to eat, but hey, so are they, and if the other people can't deal with it, they can leave.

Yes, children can and will be children. We all know that. But parents have to be parents and enforce children, and we know that unfortuantely, there is a lot of parenting going on. A screaming, kicking child is highly inappropriate and it would be selfish of a parent to allow that to happen. But, it's not the child's fault-it is the parent. He is acting like a child will. It is the parent's responsibility to deal with it immediately.

I can tell by the children in the classroom, and then when I meet the parents, which parents allow this type of behavior. It is very apparent.

 
Old 06-20-2007, 07:34 PM
 
Location: SW Kansas
1,787 posts, read 3,347,231 times
Reputation: 1401
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaneyland View Post
I just need to vent a little to parents. My lovely wife and I went to our favorite Mexican place for my birthday Friday and listened to 40 minutes of chatter, whining, screaming, and kicking from 3 children. Two women were with them, drinking beer while their little monsters carried on and on. (The beer drinking is another thing that got me steaming...) The ladies, and I use that term very sparingly in this case, just carried on as if nothing was happening. Please all, if you think its okay to let little ones behave terribly in public (or know someone that does), think of the others around you that really have no desire to listen, watch, and be annoyed by your little wonders. Whew, I feel better.
I agree Delaneyland! When I was newly married we picked-up my 2 y/o step-son to go out to breakfast. I was so embarrassed when he proceeded to leave the table, run up and down the aisle, and just in general cause a scene. Naturally since I was the new step-mom I did not feel comfortable disciplining him, and his father was clueless. I informed him that this would be the LAST time that Dusty got to go out to eat with us until he learned some manners! And I was just evil enough to see it through. I have worked in food service and had to deal with the kids causing problems. One boy ran from table to table, helping himself to food off peoples plates. NOT CUTE. Hubby and I were at a Red Lobster years ago. Back then it was still somewhat "fine dining" which today it seems more like a family restraunt. A kid on the other side of the back-to-back booth kicked me through the seat basically throughout the entire meal! Throwing a fit and carrying on. Ruined my meal. It would be one thing if I went to Chuckee Cheese and then complained that the kids were too loud or rowdy. That is not the case though. I thought I was going out to have an expensive meal at a fine dining establishment - guess not.

Oh, and Dusty? He finally learned enough manners and public decorum to be allowed to dine out when he was about 8. Because his Mother was a very lenient parent he had to learn all the basics; like chewing with his mouth closed, not talking with his mouth full, and talking in a quiet voice.
 
Old 06-20-2007, 07:48 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,312,199 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrshvo View Post
I am surprised at some of the parents on here that are, in a way, condoning improper behavior of children at restuarants saying that they know that other people are coming to eat, but hey, so are they, and if the other people can't deal with it, they can leave.

Yes, children can and will be children. We all know that. But parents have to be parents and enforce children, and we know that unfortuantely, there is a lot of parenting going on. A screaming, kicking child is highly inappropriate and it would be selfish of a parent to allow that to happen. But, it's not the child's fault-it is the parent. He is acting like a child will. It is the parent's responsibility to deal with it immediately.

I can tell by the children in the classroom, and then when I meet the parents, which parents allow this type of behavior. It is very apparent.
Agreed it is VERY clear to me when I meet fellow children and then follow up and meet the parents...parenting starts at home period. And of course kids running up and down with their heads cut off in any public situation very wrong. But sit down, shut up and eat your mac and cheese attitude of parenting doesnt seem to do much good as it can backfire on you....the same kids can end up being rebelious in nature. And the way Big Brother seems to be watching everyone and everything...its better to catch things early than later on in life.

As far as the comment of saying people can leave...well telling us parents to take our kids home because they are coloring at the table and talking to us (anyone every wonder why parents are just talking about the latest disney cartoon....because it keeps the kids occupied till the food comes!)

The previous posts in which a gal worked in waitressing had the most awesome tips.

Or how about the sour puss poster that said there should be age restrictions on restaurants because basically they annoy them? Ever ask the parents on how we feel knowing that while we are paying for a prime meal at a 5 star place knowing that our kids are not going to act up..but still get seated without a view or in the back...because we see the hostess, or patrons roll their eyes with the "oh they have kids look"...WE FEEL LIKE WE DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE THERE. And guess what folks, we are paying customers and deserve and have every right to enjoy our meal...kids or not. We purposely take the kids out to restaurants and such...even the coat required types...because it re-inforces our beliefs that kids that are well dressed, well behaved, turn out to be well mannered in life. It teaches them early on how people should speak and act at such places.....

On the same token...we may not book a 9 pm reservation at a place like this..maybe an early one 630-7 when the kids are fresh and take them for ice cream outside..a tad early for dinner perhaps on weekend...but not late enough for the "real" dinner crowd to set in. And as far as the movies go...its matinee all the way for us....its easier, more child friendly and the kids arent cranky for the evening showings.


And if its really fancy..quite frankly..I dont take the kids at all, I just get a sitter and enjoy a evening out with the dh. You dont have to take the kids everywhere!
 
Old 06-21-2007, 05:15 AM
 
25,456 posts, read 23,285,366 times
Reputation: 15316
Quote:
Originally Posted by northernexposure View Post
which is why I think people should be licensed to be parents.
Being clueless due to stupidity is a scary prospect and makes for terribly incapable parents.

LOL, sorry, but I can't help but laugh....as a friend of mine always says the same thing...

he mumbles with disgust..."you should have to take a test before you become parents".....

true, very true!
 
Old 06-21-2007, 05:29 AM
 
Location: State College PA
402 posts, read 1,994,679 times
Reputation: 255
You know what I hate though? When I do get a sitter....go to a nice restaurant....and have a family with children that are ill-behaved.

And my husband and I look at each other and wonder why we just paid to leave our children at home, just to hear someone else's.....
 
Old 06-21-2007, 05:55 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,629,332 times
Reputation: 2236
[quote=mom2gurls;921946]Agreed it is VERY clear to me when I meet fellow children and then follow up and meet the parents...parenting starts at home period. And of course kids running up and down with their heads cut off in any public situation very wrong. But sit down, shut up and eat your mac and cheese attitude of parenting doesnt seem to do much good as it can backfire on you....the same kids can end up being rebelious in nature. And the way Big Brother seems to be watching everyone and everything...its better to catch things early than later on in life.[quote=mom2gurls;921946]

I definitely agree that the point isn't that "children should be seen, not heard". That would be ridiculous and everyone else dining would be expecting too much if that is the case. I don't teach my children this either. They can talk and laugh and play a little bit-as long as it is contained within our table. Tables 5 down do NOT want to hear us, because even if we're playing-obviously we're too loud if they can.


[quote=mom2gurls;921946]As far as the comment of saying people can leave...well telling us parents to take our kids home because they are coloring at the table and talking to us (anyone every wonder why parents are just talking about the latest disney cartoon....because it keeps the kids occupied till the food comes!) [quote=mom2gurls;921946]

Same thing I disagree with. It's the parents that are letting the children stay out of control in a misbehavior type of way (yelling, kicking, running up and down the ailes, throwing food) instead of handling it that should go home that I agree with.




[quote=mom2gurls;921946]Or how about the sour puss poster that said there should be age restrictions on restaurants because basically they annoy them? Ever ask the parents on how we feel knowing that while we are paying for a prime meal at a 5 star place knowing that our kids are not going to act up..but still get seated without a view or in the back...because we see the hostess, or patrons roll their eyes with the "oh they have kids look"...WE FEEL LIKE WE DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE THERE. And guess what folks, we are paying customers and deserve and have every right to enjoy our meal...kids or not. We purposely take the kids out to restaurants and such...even the coat required types...because it re-inforces our beliefs that kids that are well dressed, well behaved, turn out to be well mannered in life. It teaches them early on how people should speak and act at such places.....[quote=mom2gurls;921946]

I don't agree there should be age restrictions. Sometimes, children act better than adults! I was at TGI Friday's about 2 weeks ago, with my chidlren, and as we're waiting to be sat, we hear in the lobby, coming from the bar area, some drunken bimbo yelling "godd@mnit!". There were plenty of kids in that restuarant and I didn't appreciate my children hearing that type of language, and I wasn't even sat yet. If I continued to hear it I would have went up and said something to hear, and despite yes, I did hear her big mouth all the way at my table, there wasn't any cursing involved.



Last night, I went to Applebee's. Across from my table there was a baby of about 1 1/2, almost 2....maybe not a baby....close to a toddler? Cute girl, really cute. Smiles and everything. Then she started throwing a tantrum for something, with these piercing SCREAMS, and I am not exgerrating and I know the whole restuarant could hear. Happened until they left. Then she starts throwing food. The whole floor around her was covered with it. THEN I feel a fry hit my leg, twice. Come on now. I know she's young....but if you don't try to control it a little early....imagine trying to start to teach proper behavior at 4...not going to work. So I turn and look at the table, and there were 4 other family members-mom, dad, and perhaps 2 grandma's or aunts...they were allowing this. Once they saw my look they took the fries away and if I thought before it was screaming.....she was like a banshee now. Finally they took her out, because the check had come. There were points I couldn't even talk to my grandmother that I was there with.

And, when they left, do you think they even tried to clean up? Nope. The poor waitress was left to pick up a disgusting mess of fries all over, other food, crayons, papers....and not just under that table, she had to come out into the walkway and at my table.

My child has made a mess too-not even close to what this child did as I try to limit that type of behavior, but it was never throwing-just dropping. And you bet your sweet butt that I picked it all up on a nice pile to be thrown out. And I would never have allowed screaming like that. We would have been doing as much entertaining as possible during the dinner, knowing the child would be bored. Bringing toys...taking outside for a walk...bringing special food, whatever. They did nothing. It is these types of parents that are not parenting. And then when I get that child in my classroom, who grows up getting her way all of the time and pitching fits when she doesn't, and i talk to the parents about it...it is these parents that will try to turn it onto me because their little princess has never done this before, and she doesn't act like this at home....and maybe she just clashes with me....all the while during the conference that they brought her to, she is running around the classroom touching things that she knows she should not, fighting with her sister that came too, and the parents aren't even saying a thing to her (yes, this did happen!).
 
Old 06-21-2007, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Northern MN
592 posts, read 2,532,413 times
Reputation: 352
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWingsFan View Post
The true words of someone that has not yet experienced parenting!

Sometimes my kids act up in public. You think I want them to? Not a chance. I cringe and hate when they act like that. But guess what.... they are children so it's bound to happen from time to time.

News flash - you acted up as a child in public too! Guaranteed. You are just too old to remember. Cut the parents some slack. Stop focusing on it and focus on your own night out. If it's that much of a bother just ask for a new table and move on with your life. If you haven't been a parent you have no clue how hard it can be sometimes to get kids to behave in public despite a parent's best efforts! They are kids, it happens. Some day when you have kids it will happen with yours. Treat those people how you want to be treated later on when it happens to you.

What a meany you are!
It is one huge assumption you've made about my parenting. In fact, you kinda stretched the whole post to attack me, which I don't appreciate. Further, you might want to read the TOS as it applies to leaving negative rep points, I didn't appreciate that either.
 
Old 06-21-2007, 06:40 AM
 
1,341 posts, read 4,312,199 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaneyland View Post
It is one huge assumption you've made about my parenting. In fact, you kinda stretched the whole post to attack me, which I don't appreciate. Further, you might want to read the TOS as it applies to leaving negative rep points, I didn't appreciate that either.
I actually like this thread, and I am not in it for the glory of getting "rep" points..but rather information that allows us to learn more about what people are really thinking but just dont want to say.

I dont agree with alot of the name calling of the kids....but lets face parenting and children are a sensitive subject...we could all take a step back and learn something next time we are in a restaurant.

And the PREVIOUS POSTER before this who had the yucky applebees experience..

all I can say is "aye yai yai". I would have been upset...not at the kid..but again...at the enabling parents...I hope they left a nice tip for the waitress at least!
 
Old 06-21-2007, 06:47 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,457 times
Reputation: 324
I am probably one of the sourpusses that would like to see age restrictions on restaurants or child free places. I do not know how legal it would be but movies and restaurants would be more pleasant.
If I go into a restaurant and I do not get the table I want I ask for more selection and I have yet to be denied. If I sit down and a child starts I ask to move or talk to the manager. If I am seated near someone who's perfume is too strong I ask to move. I do not go out to eat just to eat and I am not going to spend money to be annoyed.
My children were far from perfect and we went out often, my youngest daughter almost everyday and I would have had no problem if some restaurants were child free.
Someone said that buffets were cheap, well we have one here that serves high end Asian food and dinner can easily with wine cost a 100.00 and if you think I want children's fingers in the sushi and in the chocolate fountain you are wrong. The good think is most parents can't afford it so you see few small children.
If your child misbehaves don't you pay your check apologize and leave or do you just sit there?
 
Old 06-21-2007, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Far Western KY
1,833 posts, read 5,754,229 times
Reputation: 845
Default Tell them to set down and be quite ...

What I don't get is why don't people say something?
If I'm eating dinner and some little hellun is making a fuss, acting up, running around, being rude and the parent are not doing anything about it ....

I will get up and I WILL tell your child to set down and be quite and if the parents say anything .... I have and will say DO YOUR JOB as a parents or I'm going to do it for you, because I'm not housing them in the pin the rest of their life, because you failed.

Sure the parents are mad ... so what I'm mad about their misbehaved child I'm not about to be mad alone ... you screw up my meal, I'll screw up theres and maybe they learn something in the process, but I doubt it.

BTW I have children and if the act up it isn't for long ... so before some one says I don't understand how hard it is to parent ... BS I have a house full of girls.

Last edited by Davart; 06-21-2007 at 07:48 AM..
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