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Old 07-03-2007, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,869,750 times
Reputation: 29355

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mumof3 View Post
Well, Delaneyland the next time you are in a restaurant and you see parents having difficulty managing their children would you please be more tolerant and think that these children could have Autism or some other very distressing developmental disorder. [Cropped for brevity]
Notice Delaneyland stated the adults made no effort to get the kids in order. Letting your kids use a restaurant as a playground while you ignore them is just flat-out rude. Nobody is asking that your kids act like angels all the time or that occasional outbursts are intolerable. But even taking developmental disorders into consideration, parents owe it to the other patrons to at least try to keep their kids under control, and if they cannot, to remove them until they are back under control. Seriously, is this too much to ask?

 
Old 07-03-2007, 03:11 PM
 
4,010 posts, read 9,895,221 times
Reputation: 1794
We DO teach our children to behave, but you know what? Sometimes they still mess up!

Now, maybe you don't remember being a kid, but maybe you can remember being a teen. Did you ever mess up? Maybe even mess up big? Did you blame your parents? I am sure others did. Was it your parents' fault? No, all mess up sometimes.


It is very easy to be a perfect parent, before you have kids! HA!

Dawn

PS: People often tell me how well behaved my kids are. I have learned to say, "well, you caught them on a good day!" Because I know that they are not always perfect.
 
Old 07-03-2007, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,869,750 times
Reputation: 29355
Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnW View Post
We DO teach our children to behave, but you know what? Sometimes they still mess up!

Now, maybe you don't remember being a kid, but maybe you can remember being a teen. Did you ever mess up? Maybe even mess up big? Did you blame your parents? I am sure others did. Was it your parents' fault? No, all mess up sometimes.


It is very easy to be a perfect parent, before you have kids! HA!

Dawn

PS: People often tell me how well behaved my kids are. I have learned to say, "well, you caught them on a good day!" Because I know that they are not always perfect.
I re-iterate: NOBODY IS DEMANDING PERFECTION. All we ask is that you at least try to keep your kids under control, and deal with them appropriately when they are not. This is basic, common courtesy; why is this so controversial?
 
Old 07-03-2007, 04:22 PM
 
4,010 posts, read 9,895,221 times
Reputation: 1794
Because the topic said, "Teach your children." Most of us do that. It doesn't mean it will stick.

Because the OP said he didn't want to be annoyed by "our little wonders." Meaning basically anyone with children.

There are ways to say this without offending every parent out there by putting down their children.

There, I said it, whew, I feel better.

Dawn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover View Post
I re-iterate: NOBODY IS DEMANDING PERFECTION. All we ask is that you at least try to keep your kids under control, and deal with them appropriately when they are not. This is basic, common courtesy; why is this so controversial?
 
Old 07-03-2007, 05:20 PM
 
70 posts, read 206,066 times
Reputation: 20
Wow this is great! I have 2 kids... I've been told numerous times by complete strangers how they are so happy to see well behaved kids. They do have their moments, trust me, all kids do. I couldn't agree more about doing something IF your child is not behaving out in public. It's a shame my kids have to grow up seeing so many other kids getting away w/acting totally wild in an inappropriate place. They do wonder why other kids get away with it. I TEACH my kids. It's a shame more parents don't. I know it's damn hard, but if you are lazy with your kids they will have no respect for you, or anyone else. I do see another side of things at times though. I was at the supermarket the other day and I honestly think some people just do not like kids and ASSUME they are "bad" My kids were standing right next to me while looking at something and apparently an older woman wanted to look at something next to us. Instead of her saying "excuse me" to my kids she crawled up their butts and when my son tried to come over to me, she practically knocked him over and mumbled something about..... kids"! I'm sorry, but children deserve the same respect as adults. How else can you teach them it is the right thing to do? You get what you give, in my opinion. I'm glad I give all my time to teaching my kids and don't think just becasue I'm not home my job is on hold. Nope, that's just not how it works!
 
Old 07-03-2007, 05:36 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,424,731 times
Reputation: 10476
Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnW View Post
We DO teach our children to behave, but you know what? Sometimes they still mess up!

Now, maybe you don't remember being a kid, but maybe you can remember being a teen. Did you ever mess up? Maybe even mess up big? Did you blame your parents? I am sure others did. Was it your parents' fault? No, all mess up sometimes.


It is very easy to be a perfect parent, before you have kids! HA!

Dawn

PS: People often tell me how well behaved my kids are. I have learned to say, "well, you caught them on a good day!" Because I know that they are not always perfect.

The whole point of this is that since your kids know how to behave in public most of the time you didn't LET them tear around a restaurant disturbing other people. The problem the OP has is that the parents did NOTHING to stop the kids from misbehaving and THAT is the issue. I have 3 kids, they don't always behave but if they can't behave we remove them from the situation. Simple solution.
 
Old 08-09-2007, 03:08 AM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,683,905 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2gurls View Post
Shame on you...kids will be kids...thank goodness I have got handle on mine so as not to "offend" the type of adults who actually forget that.

And I take the kids to family friendly places as well as adult places with no problems whatsoever. We do resort vacations and make sure that we find a place that satisfies the adult tastes and also has plenty of childrens activities. I have removed them from situations AT MY choice, not because some "lookie loo" is rolling their eyes at me, but I call it good parenting.

As a mother, I have been offfended by others "little wonders" behavior and am left thinking "get a hold of your kid"..but on the other hand, I dont associate with those people, I dont let their negative energy even come into play, and me and dh make friends with other families who share our common interests.


I get complimented by fellow moms who stare and say "you actually can take your kids shopping with you (they are 7 and 2.6)"..and I am like yeah?

I guess I am the drill sarg of the home, because we have enforced good behavior!


Sorry to play devils advocate here, but I cant understand the "childish" behavior of a whining adult in a restaurant. Its tough enough raising kids under OUR eyes...mind you --now we have to worry Big Brother watching?


It doesnt matter if "you" think they are behaving when in "public"...there is a reason why people might be looking at the behaviors of your child.....its kind of like smoking in public....not everyone does it so not everyone wants the smoke in thier face......people should mind thier buisness and usually do until something happens that is not normal behavior in thier eyes.....do unto others as you would have done to you, but then again maybe you dont care as much about another person's child getting loud or in your space at all.......so i guess just think of what other people around you in public see as respectible behavior and make your kids behave accordingly in public places
 
Old 08-09-2007, 03:14 AM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,869,750 times
Reputation: 29355
Quote:
Originally Posted by THASPECIAL View Post
It doesnt matter if "you" think they are behaving when in "public"...there is a reason why people might be looking at the behaviors of your child.....its kind of like smoking in public....not everyone does it so not everyone wants the smoke in thier face......people should mind thier buisness and usually do until something happens that is not normal behavior in thier eyes.....do unto others as you would have done to you, but then again maybe you dont care as much about another person's child getting loud or in your space at all.......so i guess just think of what other people around you in public see as respectible behavior and make your kids behave accordingly in public places
Huh?
 
Old 08-09-2007, 04:27 AM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,683,905 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover View Post
Huh?
Good behavior is different for different people .....when you are with your kids in public places such as a resturant you should respect the people around you.....in your eyes you can think your kid is the most behaved in the world but that is only because you love them so much...sometimes some parents dont see certain actions as being bad behavior and if they were in public other parents might see it as bad so therefore act according to the atmosphere you are in as far as rules and behavior go
 
Old 08-09-2007, 12:01 PM
 
1,428 posts, read 2,774,141 times
Reputation: 1460
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianH View Post
I agree. But id also like to point out that in the politically correct climate we live in alot of parents dont spank their children in public places because of the trouble they will get in when somebody reports them for it. And the kids know this. Even I, who beleives in spanking (it never hurt me) am vary wary of doing it in public because of nosey busybodies.
There is a difference between spanking and discipline. We do not spank because we see no difference between spanking and hitting, and believe that hitting someone other than in defense of self or another is fundamentally wrong, especially when one is hitting a child.

That said, there is no way that that behavior the OP described is appropriate. If it had been my child, I would have insisted she stay in her chair, and if she could not, then we would pay and depart the restaurant so fast we'd leave a jet trail. I've left full baskets of shopped-for food in Smith's for that same reason (sorry, Smith's employees...).
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