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Look I agree with positive parenting. Give em lots of encouragement. Cheer for them all the way.
BUT I do not think that we should put up with rude behaviour. Ignoring it does not say "you have crossed the line" Ignoring it does not say "That was wrong"
If kids have to misbehave to get attention, then maybe we need to look at whether we are giving them that positive attention that they crave and need.
I read a book called "Whale Done". It talks all about using positive rewards to modify behaviour. Based on the the way sea world train their Killer Whales to perform. The inference is that you cant spank a killer whale. Mind you I seem to recall that a killer whale ate a trainer recently. I wonder if the publisher is going to release a suppliment.
That is one long list and I don't think I could remember to check it off as I went about my day. I treat my child the way I would have wanted to be treated when I was a child.
Look I agree with positive parenting. Give em lots of encouragement. Cheer for them all the way.
BUT I do not think that we should put up with rude behaviour. Ignoring it does not say "you have crossed the line" Ignoring it does not say "That was wrong"
If kids have to misbehave to get attention, then maybe we need to look at whether we are giving them that positive attention that they crave and need.
I read a book called "Whale Done". It talks all about using positive rewards to modify behaviour. Based on the the way sea world train their Killer Whales to perform. The inference is that you cant spank a killer whale. Mind you I seem to recall that a killer whale ate a trainer recently. I wonder if the publisher is going to release a suppliment.
I don't want to compare my daughter to a whale. Would she do those things to me when I am old, argumentative, disruptive, or on bad behavior?
That is one long list and I don't think I could remember to check it off as I went about my day. I treat my child the way I would have wanted to be treated when I was a child.
This is an old outdated saying. You should treat people how "THEY" want to be treated. Not how you would want to be treated. What if I like to be treated poorly? Should I treat you that way?
This is why you can't treat all of your kids the same way!
This is an old outdated saying. You should treat people how "THEY" want to be treated. Not how you would want to be treated. What if I like to be treated poorly? Should I treat you that way?
This is why you can't treat all of your kids the same way!
I was listening to a speach by a fellow called John Maxwell. One of those moticational speaker types. Google him.
Anyway he was reciting a story about how his dad would punish him by sending him to his room and for him that was torture. While he was in his room, the world was going by outside. He went on to say, that when his daughter needed to be punished he tried the same thing. Sent her to her room. Problem was her daughter loved being alone in her room.
Different courses for different horses.
Everyone should be treated with respect. Everone should be terated well. Not how they want to be treated. They should be treated well.
I can not understand the idea that someone wants to be treated poorly.If it is due to poor self esteme, then I am not going to help you down that spiral. If it is due to some sexual kink, then my suspicion is that being "treated poorly" is something you can do for a short time like in the form of foreplay because you have a good self image and trusting partners? friends or something. But I doubt if being treated poorly is something that you really want 24/7.
I was listening to a speach by a fellow called John Maxwell. One of those moticational speaker types. Google him.
Anyway he was reciting a story about how his dad would punish him by sending him to his room and for him that was torture. While he was in his room, the world was going by outside. He went on to say, that when his daughter needed to be punished he tried the same thing. Sent her to her room. Problem was her daughter loved being alone in her room.
Different courses for different horses.
Everyone should be treated with respect. Everone should be terated well. Not how they want to be treated. They should be treated well.
I can not understand the idea that someone wants to be treated poorly.If it is due to poor self esteme, then I am not going to help you down that spiral. If it is due to some sexual kink, then my suspicion is that being "treated poorly" is something you can do for a short time like in the form of foreplay because you have a good self image and trusting partners? friends or something. But I doubt if being treated poorly is something that you really want 24/7.
I agree with this post. You do, however, need to walk in the other person's shoes. Sometimes, cultural differences get in the way of our knowing how to treat people well from their own perspective.
The idea is "let me first understand what they want and then I'll give it to them."
There is a man who writes about this and calls it the *platinum rule.*
He divides people into four motivational categories and talks about how you adapt to each of these different people by considering their needs.
Thirteenth, Have your offspring's crown dusted three times a week and clean their purple velvet robes once a week.
Fourteenth, when one puts his/her children on a pedestal, especially a high one, the parents usually regret it in one way or another.
My translation of her post is:
1. Be a good role model.
2. Assume your child is a good person who is learning how to behave properly.
3. State what you want instead of what you don't want.
4. Explain yourself when necessary.
5. Address what caused the misbehavior, give choices when you can.
6. Let your child know what's going on around him.
7. Teach your child to control himself when he gets out of control.
8. Say what you mean ONE TIME.
9. Plan your day so your child can comply with acceptable behavior.
10. Agree on rules/consequences ahead of time so your child knows what to expect.
11. Admit when you are wrong and apologize/Allow your child to apologize to you.
12. Give your child age appropriate responsibilities and allow your child to manage the task to the best of his abilty (must be age appropriate).
Nothing in the above post puts children on a pedestal...nor is it treating them like royalty.
It's okay. Sometimes reading comprehension goes out of the window the minute the word "positive" is used. Immediately misinterpreted as "permissive" without really reading into the original content of the post.
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