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Old 06-22-2007, 03:22 PM
 
2,058 posts, read 4,311,072 times
Reputation: 1827

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Make her leave on her own. Tighten up on her by setting curfews, assigning her with a ton of household chores, etc., make life miserable for her at home and not a vacation. Eventually, she will get mad enough and leave of her own free will. Do it this way and the daughter cannot blame the parents for turning their backs on her and becoming a failure in life. Kids do that you know.
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Old 06-22-2007, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Marion, IN
8,191 posts, read 27,463,825 times
Reputation: 7078
If there are 3 people living in the house she should be paying 1/3 of all the bills and that includes house payment and groceries. She should be doing at least 1/3 of the chores, including yard work. At 19 I lived on my own and had been working for 3 years.
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Old 08-09-2007, 03:19 AM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,681,215 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellyann65 View Post
Help please

My daughter is 19 and will not hold a job all she wants to do is sleep party and complain how it is all everybody's fault sh looses her jobs. She has been through 5 jobs in the last 2 months. This last one she had for 3 days and quit to go on a boat with her buddies for her birthday.
My husband who is her step dad is about at his end with the whole thing and I just do not know what to do. I love my daughter AND my husband he wants to kick her out but i have stopped that because she has no place to go and for a girl on the street it just is not safe any suggestions or advice would be wonderful
Kelly



Sounds like you were the type of parent that didnt spank .....maybe im wrong but society is not looking good for the future.....i would give her an altimadum....either get a job and stay with it for a certain amount of time as a goal or you can pack your bags and see where else you can live this kind of lifestyle of partying and not working
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Old 08-09-2007, 07:44 AM
 
5,640 posts, read 16,929,451 times
Reputation: 3963
She needs to get a job full time if she is not going to any college, and keep it. Otherwise, I suggest YOU start saving up enough money for a security deposit and one month's rent (she will NEVER save it for herself) and find a safe apartment for her. Move her in and tell her, she is now on her own.
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Old 08-09-2007, 08:25 AM
 
Location: New England
786 posts, read 801,414 times
Reputation: 553
If she has a high school diploma, she could always enter one of the service branches. Sounds like the discipline would do her good. And I understand recruiters are now falling short of quotas, so she could possibly get a little leverage in choosing her mos.
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Old 08-09-2007, 10:45 AM
 
4,007 posts, read 9,887,667 times
Reputation: 1792
Is the OP even still around? Seems like she posted once and never came back.

Dawn
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Old 08-09-2007, 11:40 AM
 
1,428 posts, read 2,772,580 times
Reputation: 1460
Quote:
Originally Posted by THASPECIAL View Post
Sounds like you were the type of parent that didnt spank .....maybe im wrong but society is not looking good for the future.....i would give her an altimadum....either get a job and stay with it for a certain amount of time as a goal or you can pack your bags and see where else you can live this kind of lifestyle of partying and not working
Actually, it sounds to me like she was the kind of parent that didn't discipline sufficiently to have prevented this behavior now.

"Discipline" is not the same as "spanking." Spanking is no different than hitting.
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Old 08-09-2007, 11:20 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,337,485 times
Reputation: 16136
You are enabling her to be dependent and not "have" to keep a job by allowing her to stay. It isn't like she doesn't work but she does all the cooking and cleaning in return. She is mooching off you and you have to be the one to end it. Don't just kick her out on the street. Sit her down and tell her she has 1 or 2 mos. whatever you are comfortable with. Give her a date and she HAS to be out before that day, end of story. If you give her 2 mos. that should be enough time to get a job, find a place to live, and move out.
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Old 08-09-2007, 11:52 PM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 4,994,320 times
Reputation: 843
Yep...I started working at 16. If I had the job history that she has, my mother would have kicked me to the curb.
I partied too, but I got up the next morning for work and paid my bills.

She's 19? Time to learn about life. Make her pay rent or put her out. She'll find a roommate and a steady job if she needs to.
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:02 AM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,681,215 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Wallace View Post
Actually, it sounds to me like she was the kind of parent that didn't discipline sufficiently to have prevented this behavior now.

"Discipline" is not the same as "spanking." Spanking is no different than hitting.

Spanking worked for me when i was growing up........Is a time-out going to stop your teenage boy from using your car for the night out?.....lol
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