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Old 04-21-2008, 07:56 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,220,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
A relative of mine is at wits end to stop the bullying of his son. The poor boy is constantly being bullied by a variety of other kids at school. The school officals and teachers are worthless and say they can not do anything unless someone sees it. They say the bullied boy is likely just making it all up. He is not.

Has there been any successful lawsuits by parents of kids who have been physically bullied against the parents of the boy who bullies? I am sure that the bullying would stop if the parents of the bullies were to face legal and financial jeopardy.
Oh, that would be about the worst thing the parents can do. What planet are they from? Take the crap this kid is enduring now and then quadruple it. That's what a lawsuit will do to this poor kid.

Here's a better idea. Put the kid in some self-defense classes, and teach the guy to hit back and, if need be, be mean about it. In fact, tell the kid that it is his duty to fight the bully rather than meekly submit (Pretty much an adage for life, if you ask me). Hey, the kid might even get his nose bloodied. But bullies only prey on the weak and defenseless. And if the kid in question dispenses a good deal of pain, the bully will move onto somebody else. What's more, the kid in question will actually earn a little self-esteem in the process.
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Old 04-21-2008, 08:57 AM
 
5,640 posts, read 16,932,091 times
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My opinion is the teachers and people in the school are lying when they say they don't see it. this happened to me growing up, there is no way they could not have known what was going on. They just didn't want to get involved.
If the teachers don't help, I would go to the superintendent of the schools directly and insist that the kids who are doing the bullying be in separate classes from the child.
You don't say if it is psychological or physical bullying. But the schools have an obligation to create an environment where this type of stuff does not ocurr. I am told our school district has a zero tolerance for this, and we have been told that bullying instances are at their peak in middle schools.
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Old 04-23-2008, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
1,224 posts, read 2,941,784 times
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Dingler,

I had such a horrid time in all of my school years, with people picking on me, I really feel for your relative. It was just rotten the way people talked to me and i know that it really affected me in many ways some bad and some good. Can your relative change schools? Has anyone though of enrolling him in some martial art classes, so he can work on his self esteem it helped my brother who was also picked on alot. Its good to hear that the adults in the family are looking out for him. Blessings Michelle
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Old 04-23-2008, 07:12 AM
 
Location: NoVa
2,039 posts, read 2,780,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexander59 View Post
My oldest daughter is/was tiny She had trouble once with a large boy, bullies are cowards, she grabbed hold by his shirt and took him to the boys room and let him know if he bothers any more girls she will embarrass him further, all the kids laughed at him. She was the one that got in trouble at school, not severely and not with me. My daughters were taught at an early age how to defend themselves and to stand up to these creeps and as adults they put up with no disrespect.
Some people stay victims all thier lives, oh poor me type, time to teach self defense.
Your story about your daughter reminded me of my own experience growing up. My sister and I were both petite in stature when we were growing up, but my dad had taught us since we were very young on how to stand up for ourselves (physically if absolutely required, because he taught self defense classes). Most bullies that we encountered usually learned fast not to bother me or my sister, or any of our friends for that matter

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Teaching your kids to stand up for themselves, enroll them to self defense classes if needed, will bring self confidence in them that will help them in their lives forever.
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Old 04-23-2008, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 11,465,462 times
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I'm not a fan of the schoolyard bully. I believe he will eventually get what's coming to him. Tell your son to go straight to the teacher after he's been bullied (that's the cop out answer). If that gets no action then it's time for you to get involved.

There was this little pissant named Travis that was picking on the kids on my street one day. He liked to pick on the smaller kids. He spat on my daughters backpack and was generally picking on some of her friends. Nobody spits on my kids. Nobody. I just happened to have a day off work that day. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he saw me coming after him. I got in his face and asked him if he spat on my daughter's backpack and he lied to my face. I gave him the worst a$$ chewing he's probably ever seen. He stopped coming down our street on the walk home from school. He was affraid he'd run into me again.

What did my daughter learn from that? She learned to not put up with that nonsense and she learned that I'm going to go to bat for her if it's a situation she can't handle. If you feel like getting a lawyer and sueing his parents is going to bat for you kid then maybe that's what you need to do. You know what's best for your kid. But me? I just go straight to the source of the problem.

A lesson in self defense wouldn't hurt either.
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Old 04-23-2008, 11:57 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,276,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
Get down to business and get a lawyer to write a letter to the principal, copy the couselor, Board of Education and Superintendent. You inform them of your intent to file suit against the school. See how quickly they act. And ask the lawyer if the parents can be included.
I agree. Watch everyone get busy to address the situation. Get all parties' names on that list to receive copies, wh/ means no one can make the excuse that they had no idea what was going on . . . paying an attorney a few hundred $$ to do this is worth every penny - all parties will see you have already sought advice and will take this as a warning shot.

Excellent idea and excellent advice from Steelstress, IMHO.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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Default Been there

I had a son being bully at DB and we filed lawsuit against them and won. If you would like more contact me 865-643-3474

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingler View Post
A relative of mine is at wits end to stop the bullying of his son. The poor boy is constantly being bullied by a variety of other kids at school. The school officals and teachers are worthless and say they can not do anything unless someone sees it. They say the bullied boy is likely just making it all up. He is not.

Has there been any successful lawsuits by parents of kids who have been physically bullied against the parents of the boy who bullies? I am sure that the bullying would stop if the parents of the bullies were to face legal and financial jeopardy.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:23 AM
 
697 posts, read 1,775,901 times
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One of my daughter's best friends is 95 lbs and is 5' tall AND A GIRL. She has been known to take down boys a lot bigger than she because they dare threaten or bully her friends. She had no training in self defense, just comes by her toughness naturally.

Like I tell my daughter all the time: It's all in the mind. Show fear, and it's all over.

Too many stories of bullying end in suicide for the person bullied. Kids need to know how to keep their heads above water with someone who intimidates others.
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Old 10-01-2008, 12:30 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 2,579,386 times
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Up until this year my oldest daughter has had all sorts of problems at school. Verbally mostly. Finally, last year I was at my wits ends after being called to the Principals office 9 or 10 times in the same year. I called my lawyer and asked him what to do. He says "You are chewing on the wrong end of the cow. Start at the TOP and go down, instead of the Principal and work up." The last time I was there, I had a letter ready for the Principal. I also dropped one off at the Superintendents office. I called EVERY member of the school board and mailed them a certified letter also. I cc'ed it to my lawyer (who everyone knows in this little rural area) and to the state Superintendent. Basically, I said you have a bullying policy in the handbook on page # 15. I WANT IT ENFORCED NOW!!!!! Not later. NOW. I do not want to hear Kids will be Kids, BLAH BLAH BLAH. That isn't helping my child. She is scared to come to school. The adults around her who are SUPPOSED to be protecting her are NOT. They are failing in their jobs. They are letting her down through not protecting her. She maybe at fault partially, granted. I never said she was totally innocent nor will I ever. BUT. I do not agree that she should be physically and verbally taunted in every class, in the hallway, after class, on the bus, and basically anywhere else they can find her without an adult standing RIGHT OVER HER. All they have to do is MAKE IT CLEAR this type of behavior will not be tolerated by anyone, to anyone. Enforce it. If you see it, stop it. It is the responsibility of every employee of the school system to enforce this policy. As an adult, it is YOUR responsibility.
Our school system has been sued before and probably will again. Hopefully not by me. But they are on notice that I am at the end of my rope. There isn't a knot.

I haven't had any more calls. I haven't been down there yet and from what I am hearing, things have changed somehow..
Don't get me wrong. Before I wrote that letter, I put both my girls in Tae Kwon Do. It didn't seem to help much. I have had talks with both of them about standing up for themselves. All it takes is ONE bully getting whipped. The rest are usually on notice. I told them to do it. When they push you, push back. Do not take their crap. Well, they wouldn't do it. The rules are stacked against you in our school system. One fight and basically you are on ISS for 5 weeks. So the kid that is picked on who WANTS to stay in school is afraid to fight back. I told them if you get suspended you can sit home and eat ice cream for 2 weeks or however long.
Now the different story is my youngest daughter. She rarely had any problem and the one she did have she handled. She is GOOD at Tae Kwon Do. She round-housed him, dislocated his jaw, bloodied his face all up. No one bothers her now. At all.
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Old 10-01-2008, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Tampa
2,119 posts, read 3,162,422 times
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Most will not agree with me, but sometimes you must fight back.

I was bullied by a group of girls when I had to transfer from my private school to public school. They hated my hair and hated my clothes because I didn't dress like them in jeans, concert tees and Puma sneakers.

I totally HATED phys ed because that's where they taunted me the most...in the locker room and then during activities where they would try to whip balls at me, etc...and, no, the phys ed teachers (females) never did a thing about it.

One day, we were outside playing flag football. The ringleader kept harassing me by pushing me and calling me names. At one point, I just lost it. I ran up to her, grabbed her by the shirt under her chin and screamed in her face that if she didn't leave me the h-ll alone, I was going to rip her blankety-blank face off.

The phys ed teachers saw nothing, everyone just stood there looking at us. The ringleader's peon followers stood there with their eyes wide open.

The ringleader just backed down and from that day forward, she never even LOOKED at me again. The odd thing is that her peon followers tried to befriend me! I wanted nothing to do with them.

Okay, so it might be semi-violent that I grabbed her by the shirt and the vulgar language wasn't necessary, but I was steaming mad!

If the school won't do anything to put an end to the bullying, I say kick the bully's a$$.
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