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Old 06-20-2007, 03:45 PM
 
Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 12,839,778 times
Reputation: 2332

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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv-thebeach View Post
....My son and his childrens mother never married. He is paying his child support payments which started 2 months ago. ...........My sons kids are 4 yrs & 8 months. .....she and the kids are living with her grandparents...
Do you wonder why these people are unhappy with your son (and probably their granddaughter as well!)? Your son needs to find an attorney, because he does have the right to see his children and be in their lives as long as he's not abusive or dangerous or addicted, etc.
However, he and the mother have the responsibility to provide for and take care of them. Has he been involved with the children all along, supporting them, helping to care for them or for their needs prior to this?
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:56 PM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,095,858 times
Reputation: 1115
Beings the baby's only 8 months old, Grandpa's probably still steaming-hot from the apparent blowup of his daughter's five (or more?) year relationship.
If he's that intimidating -- especially if he can back his threats up -- perhaps son could ease his way into a talk with the guy once he's had more time to simmer? Or write a sincere letter explaining.
As long as your son did nothing to harm or betray, maybe he could chip away little by little and work on getting back into the "good graces" and "sweet-talk" GP into being amicable for the kids' sake. Mr. Hated around the globe won't be the one to put his ego aside. Kill him with kindness and get it over with :>) Or, as suggested, find the lawyer with just as big an ego & will chomp for the high profile catch :>)
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:55 AM
 
Location: Kansas City Metro area
356 posts, read 1,076,043 times
Reputation: 228
Child support and vsitation are separated issues. From what I have read neither has been court ordered as of yet. When the parents are not married, the mother automaticly has full custody. Until there is a court order your son has no visitation rights. Try looking up the local chapter of "Divorced Dads" for legal advice and recommendations on attorneys.

Unfortunatly, your son needs an attorney, period. Find one that specializes in father rights, in the end the money will be worth it. Good luck.
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Old 06-21-2007, 05:11 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,132 times
Reputation: 324
This is another reason for the guys to get married, its so much easier for the woman to control custody and visitation if not married.
Crashcop is right visitation and child support are two different issues, because you don't pay child support has nothing to do with not seeing your child. No matter how much advice you get here you need a lawyer.
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:22 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,389 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingBack2PA View Post
I am so, so sorry to hear this....
I've been trough hell and back concerning my child, my ex, courts....etc.
But, there are situations, the people involved, can not fix!
Some one else HAS to lay out the guidelines....and THAT'S when the courts come in.
In rare cases, depending on the "willingness" of the individuals, a mediation conference can be achieved with the help of a laywer or judge.
But, knowing now, it very, very rarely works out....
I think, the situation has gone already to the point, where it's out of control, and affecting the child....THAT NEEDS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY!
I see no other way, in the best interest of the child, as well as the dad's, to retain a lawyer immediately, and go to court. Time is of importance, to keep the bond to the child intact, and not traumatize the child any further.
Child support and visitation are two completely different things.
Financial support for the child is the responsibility of the both parents, and nobody else.
But visitation is a "priviledge", as well as having the "right" to have access to your child for some individuals (by courts determination!)
Nobody can "teach" a parent to take on responsibility, nor the task of "being a good parent".......(Some just gladly pay support, and not wanting anything to do with their child, like in my case )
I wish you tons of luck...pm me anytime.
P.S. If finances are an issue in retaining a lawyer, please look up the "Bar" (laywers) and get contact info for legal aid.
Thanks for the info. I got in touch with a mediator but she said he would have to have the court issue the mediation or a lawyer to do it which right now we are all straped for cash for a lawyer. I am sorry for what you have had to go through. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to have something to do with thier own kids. I love those grandkids as my own and I can't even get to see them. You know the old saying, What goes around comes around? Well I hope & pray it comes around soon.
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:34 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,389 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by crashcop View Post
Child support and vsitation are separated issues. From what I have read neither has been court ordered as of yet. When the parents are not married, the mother automaticly has full custody. Until there is a court order your son has no visitation rights. Try looking up the local chapter of "Divorced Dads" for legal advice and recommendations on attorneys.

Unfortunatly, your son needs an attorney, period. Find one that specializes in father rights, in the end the money will be worth it. Good luck.
This is what has happened so far. The grandfather took his granddaughter to Social Services where he made her take out papers for child support. My son met with S.S. & agreed to pay for his kids. (No questions about it). S.S. set a price with him. He has not been to court as of yet. This is all new to us as we have never faced this before. But my son & us want to see those kids as much as the 4 yr old wants to see us. My son got served with papers 2 days ago to show in court in July. Would it be in his best interest to have a lawyer present or do you think the Judge might see his side?
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:39 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,132 times
Reputation: 324
He needs an atty, right away, they are skilled at negotiation and your son will feel much more comfortable having someone who knows the ins and outs of a courtroom.
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:47 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,389 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travel'r View Post
Beings the baby's only 8 months old, Grandpa's probably still steaming-hot from the apparent blowup of his daughter's five (or more?) year relationship.
If he's that intimidating -- especially if he can back his threats up -- perhaps son could ease his way into a talk with the guy once he's had more time to simmer? Or write a sincere letter explaining.
As long as your son did nothing to harm or betray, maybe he could chip away little by little and work on getting back into the "good graces" and "sweet-talk" GP into being amicable for the kids' sake. Mr. Hated around the globe won't be the one to put his ego aside. Kill him with kindness and get it over with :>) Or, as suggested, find the lawyer with just as big an ego & will chomp for the high profile catch :>)
First off this grandpaw is not even the kids grandpaw. It is the mothers grandpaw. Her parents are both dead. I quess it's time to let out the secret of who her grandpaw really is. My son never knew who he was until he had been with her for a while then he was in love and didn't really worry about it until now. Some people may think our concern is not that big of a deal, but it is hard to stand up against the hate group of the KKK.
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:58 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,389 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by mm_mary73 View Post
Do you wonder why these people are unhappy with your son (and probably their granddaughter as well!)? Your son needs to find an attorney, because he does have the right to see his children and be in their lives as long as he's not abusive or dangerous or addicted, etc.
However, he and the mother have the responsibility to provide for and take care of them. Has he been involved with the children all along, supporting them, helping to care for them or for their needs prior to this?
Yes. They first started out living with us. I took her in against my husbands wishes because her mother was crazy and me & my son felt sorry for her. This was over 5 yrs ago. Then they finally moved out on thier own except they couldn't make it on thier own so they made the mistake of letting her mother & sister and her 2 kids move in with them to split the expenses. Well needless to say her mother was killed in a freak accident and everything went down hill after that. Everybody went thier seperate ways & this is the end results.
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Old 06-22-2007, 08:39 PM
 
25,084 posts, read 13,912,186 times
Reputation: 41737
A parent cannot legally be denied visitation even if he is not paying child support. He can petition the court directly for visitation and custody if he wants. The Court should have a self help center with forms or packets with directions as to how to file the appropriate paperwork. There may also be some type of program in family court that may also be of assistance. I recommend calling the court for general information and that is where u start. A paralegal can also help with filling out forms. And a legal form or stationary store may also offer self help packets. Since your son is not working he can petition the court for a fee waiver to waive court cost and filing fees. I would sue the mother for sole custody on the grounds of custodial interference. I wish u and your son well
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