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Old 06-19-2007, 03:54 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,417 times
Reputation: 18

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Can anyone tell me if its possible for my son to go see someone about getting visitation rights to see his kids without going to a lawyer. My son and his childrens mother never married. He is paying his child support payments which started 2 months ago. He doesn't have a job right now because he has been in the hospital recently and he sold his car just to pay the child support to be able to see his kids. However, she and the kids are living with her grandparents and they refuse to let my son see his kids. My sons kids are 4 yrs & 8 months. My son calls over there and the grandfather tells him that his 4 yr old son doesn't want to talk to him (Which is not so) and even though he nows this to be untrue, it hurts his feelings. If you only knew who the grandfather was. Someone that is hated around the globe. He even threaten my sons life on numerous occasions if he showed his face over at his house. I know what you are thinking, why doesn't he take a warrant out on the grandfather. Remember when I said if you only knew who he was? Well, he would get out of it, he always has. I need some answers. If anyone has any suggestions.
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:19 PM
 
33 posts, read 154,370 times
Reputation: 30
Your son needs a lawyer... he has parental rights and you as a grandparent with the new laws have grandparents rights to see your grandchildren. This doesn't sound like something he will be able to resolve on his own. Good luck...
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:35 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
13,057 posts, read 21,189,317 times
Reputation: 22530
"and he sold his car just to pay the child support to be able to see his kids"

Paying child support doesn't = entitled to visitation - this is a common misconception. Mothers who use their children against their children's father to extort child support payments should be punished by law! It doesn't excuse the father from having to pay child support, but you cannot deprive your children of visitation over money squabbles.

Obviously money is an issue if your son sold his car to make support payments and probably has a hospital bill now too - hiring a lawyer isn't always an option for everyone. If you can't afford one, your son still has rights as a parent.

He should go to the clerk in your court of jurisdiction and receive information about how to get a hearing date to determine a formal visitation schedule, and at the same time he should also request a modification to the amount of support he owes each month based on his new financial situation. These are two separate issues. During the hearing, he can present facts about what has happened with previous attempts to work things out with the mother/grandfather. If he doesn't keep a journal, have him start one RIGHT AWAY. That is admissible evidence in a court of law regarding any discrepancies in witness testimony about who does what, who says what, who pays what, etc.

I don't know where you are located, but the courts are not only for lawyers. You can ask for assistance when you are there if you feel overwhelmed or confused. I took care of my entire divorce, child support, visitation, the whole shebang without ever even calling a lawyer. It can be done! The court I went to even sponsors parenting classes which one can ask be required of parents who don't seem to exhibit good parenting skills, as well as mediators to facilitate visitation when there is a hostile environment issue. There are counselors to explain that whatever animosity one has against the other parent, they need to set that aside when it's concerning their kids. The court will always be considered an advocate for what is in the children's best interest, and from the sounds of it, your son may have a case to demand custody (at least joint) besides just visitation. Children are not supposed to be used as hostages or pawns in adult mind games, and courts don't take this kind of behavior lightly.

I do hope you, your son, and your extended family all succeed in working this out.
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,543,319 times
Reputation: 524
Well, if the grandfather threatened him with death then a lawyer is the only thing you can do. Why does he not want a lawyer?? If the grandfather is as powerful as you say he is why would he want to take this on himself? If he can't afford a lawyer will legal aid help? I don't know the American rules or any other country for that matter!
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Old 06-19-2007, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Beautiful TN!
5,453 posts, read 7,195,061 times
Reputation: 5647
In Michigan "Friend of the Court" will take care of parental problems like this. They will schedule a hearing for the two parents, and your son could also look into a restraining order for grumpy gramps, might help put him in his place.

In any state a parent cannot "keep" the children away from a parent. Not right, and she needs some help understanding this concept and obviously some teaching of parental skills.

Good luck.
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Old 06-19-2007, 06:38 PM
 
6,585 posts, read 22,403,189 times
Reputation: 3170
Well, a "pro" for having to deal with a high profile person, they are often worried about their reputation and they don't want their dirty laundry in the media and sometimes you can use that as leverage or to make things happen.

A "con" is that powerful people often can make very unpleasant, even illegal things happen and get away with it.

Sometime it's hard to find an attorney to go up against high profile people because they know their side doesn't have the means that the high profile side has and it's a losing battle from the get-go.

But on the other hand, there are ego-driven attorneys who would love the exposure they would get going up against a high profile person even if it means not getting paid. That's what you need, if you think the above "con" is not going to be a problem. Sometimes this might involve staying out of sight to stay safe.
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Old 06-20-2007, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Chattanooga TN
2,349 posts, read 9,503,042 times
Reputation: 1197
Legal Aid may be able to help you, give them a call. Also, we had some "issues" and the mother of my stepdaughter took us to court over one missed cheerleading practice so surely you can do SOMETHING. Go to juvenile court, file a complaint and your case will be heard. You go in front of a judge who hears both sides. Neither of us had lawyers, the case was moderated fairly and we had to split court costs (around $65 each). Keep plenty of notes for reference. Good luck!
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Old 06-20-2007, 12:22 PM
 
Location: No city lights here
1,280 posts, read 3,851,594 times
Reputation: 473
1 get a lawyer
2 depends on his age.. if he is a minor more than likey he dont have rights!
3. has he done anything to not be able to see them?
4. call your local public aide office see if they have a lawyer that is cheap or call your states attorney!
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Old 06-20-2007, 01:59 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
11 posts, read 84,417 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeborahWade View Post
1 get a lawyer
2 depends on his age.. if he is a minor more than likey he dont have rights!
3. has he done anything to not be able to see them?
4. call your local public aide office see if they have a lawyer that is cheap or call your states attorney!
He is 26 yrs old. Has he done anything?, No he loves those kids. Thanks for the info.
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Old 06-20-2007, 04:00 PM
MB2
 
Location: Sebastian/ FL
3,496 posts, read 8,569,829 times
Reputation: 2688
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv-thebeach View Post
Can anyone tell me if its possible for my son to go see someone about getting visitation rights to see his kids without going to a lawyer. My son and his childrens mother never married. He is paying his child support payments which started 2 months ago. He doesn't have a job right now because he has been in the hospital recently and he sold his car just to pay the child support to be able to see his kids. However, she and the kids are living with her grandparents and they refuse to let my son see his kids. My sons kids are 4 yrs & 8 months. My son calls over there and the grandfather tells him that his 4 yr old son doesn't want to talk to him (Which is not so) and even though he nows this to be untrue, it hurts his feelings. If you only knew who the grandfather was. Someone that is hated around the globe. He even threaten my sons life on numerous occasions if he showed his face over at his house. I know what you are thinking, why doesn't he take a warrant out on the grandfather. Remember when I said if you only knew who he was? Well, he would get out of it, he always has. I need some answers. If anyone has any suggestions.

I am so, so sorry to hear this....
I've been trough hell and back concerning my child, my ex, courts....etc.
But, there are situations, the people involved, can not fix!
Some one else HAS to lay out the guidelines....and THAT'S when the courts come in.
In rare cases, depending on the "willingness" of the individuals, a mediation conference can be achieved with the help of a laywer or judge.
But, knowing now, it very, very rarely works out....
I think, the situation has gone already to the point, where it's out of control, and affecting the child....THAT NEEDS TO STOP IMMEDIATELY!
I see no other way, in the best interest of the child, as well as the dad's, to retain a lawyer immediately, and go to court. Time is of importance, to keep the bond to the child intact, and not traumatize the child any further.
Child support and visitation are two completely different things.
Financial support for the child is the responsibility of the both parents, and nobody else.
But visitation is a "priviledge", as well as having the "right" to have access to your child for some individuals (by courts determination!)
Nobody can "teach" a parent to take on responsibility, nor the task of "being a good parent".......(Some just gladly pay support, and not wanting anything to do with their child, like in my case )
I wish you tons of luck...pm me anytime.
P.S. If finances are an issue in retaining a lawyer, please look up the "Bar" (laywers) and get contact info for legal aid.
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