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So I'm 22 years old and I was really late when starting to drive as driver's education wasn't required at my high school so I didn't take it (BIG mistake). I relied on my parents to teach me how to drive and didn't get my license until I was 20. With my mother working at night, my dad being overprotective and me being 6 hours away from home at college, I really didn't get much experience driving on the express way. My mom works nights so she always leaves the car at home for me to drive when I'm home from school. I have only driven on the express way twice and both times, I was in the car with my mother and did fine (she said so herself). She has given me permission numerous times to get out on the express way by myself. I haven't gone through with it yet because I admit that I'm really nervous about going out there on my own.
I think my dad's lack of faith in my driving kind of adds to my nervousness because when I come home, I get the feeling that he doesn't want me driving at all (not just on the expressway). When I drive to the movies with my friends, take my five year old niece to the park, etc he always looks like he doesn't want me to drive and he's always wanting to drive me everywhere. Last summer we got into a HUGE fight about me wanting to drive to church(I would have to get on the express way). My mother was fine with it and he was furious and we ended up having a huge argument and he got physical(won't go into that here). So every since then I have limited my driving to short distances because I feel he doesn't think that I can drive and his lack of confidence in me kind of makes me less confident.
Should I take my mom's advice and just get out there on my own and just drive because when I was with her I did fine and wasn't all that nervous at all or should I just keep my driving to short distances to please my father? Would love to hear from a parent's perspective because I really don't know what to do. I want to get out there and learn but I don't want to upset my father either.
So I'm 22 years old and I was really late when starting to drive as driver's education wasn't required at my high school so I didn't take it (BIG mistake). I relied on my parents to teach me how to drive and didn't get my license until I was 20. With my mother working at night, my dad being overprotective and me being 6 hours away from home at college, I really didn't get much experience driving on the express way. My mom works nights so she always leaves the car at home for me to drive when I'm home from school. I have only driven on the express way twice and both times, I was in the car with my mother and did fine (she said so herself). She has given me permission numerous times to get out on the express way by myself. I haven't gone through with it yet because I admit that I'm really nervous about going out there on my own.
I think my dad's lack of faith in my driving kind of adds to my nervousness because when I come home, I get the feeling that he doesn't want me driving at all (not just on the expressway). When I drive to the movies with my friends, take my five year old niece to the park, etc he always looks like he doesn't want me to drive and he's always wanting to drive me everywhere. Last summer we got into a HUGE fight about me wanting to drive to church(I would have to get on the express way). My mother was fine with it and he was furious and we ended up having a huge argument and he got physical(won't go into that here). So every since then I have limited my driving to short distances because I feel he doesn't think that I can drive and his lack of confidence in me kind of makes me less confident.
Should I take my mom's advice and just get out there on my own and just drive because when I was with her I did fine and wasn't all that nervous at all or should I just keep my driving to short distances to please my father? Would love to hear from a parent's perspective because I really don't know what to do. I want to get out there and learn but I don't want to upset my father either.
Well - if it's their car, it's their rules but they sound divided. It sounds like it's your mom's car and she's given permission - and you're an adult.
It's very difficult to make it without driving and you need to get over your fears of driving. Take the expressway when it's not real busy a few times - have your route more or less planned out.
It sounds to me like your dad is trying to hold you back, keep you dependent and you have to decide not to allow that any longer. At your age, he's a fellow adult.
Take the keys early on a Sunday or Saturday morning when traffic is at a minimal and drive the expressway, turn around at some point and drive back on it. Practice when you don't have to deal with a lot of people who think where they have to go is the priority of every driver out there. Holidays mid day us usually a quieter time as well.
Your confidence will build.
Suggestion: Don't act timid around your dad when it comes to driving. Maybe he thinks you don't have the confidence to drive.
No idea which expressway you're talking about, but I'm assuming it has more than one exit and entrance ramp, in each direction. Here's what I suggest (and I suggest it to anyone who is new to an area and plans on taking a newly-discovered route on a regular basis):
Before getting into the car, get on google maps and learn the exits. Find out what each exit is called (by number AND name if both are on the sign). Find out what is at the end of each exit. Find out if there is an entrance back ON to the highway in the same direction AND in the opposite direction. Some exits on some highways are NOT "easy off-easy on."
This way, if you get nervous and can't get into the exit lane in time, you'll feel comfortable getting off at the next one (or know to skip that one and get off the one after that). Or, if you're stuck in the exit-only lane and no one will let you out of it, you'll know what's there, when you exit, and how to get back on (even if you have to drive a few miles out of your way to get to the ramp).
Do this as no excuses says, early on a sunday when there's little traffic, and you have no deadlines. If you have gas money, try exploring. Back on your google map you'll see various things that might be of interest. Note which exits they're at, then get off at that exit and drive around a bit to discover each item. Don't stop, just drive so you know for when you plan on visiting them in the future. This first trip will be simply a familiarization trip, nothing more.
Then get back home, and congratulate yourself for doing something most drivers don't have the sense to do: familiarize themselves with an area BEFORE they actually need to go there.
How about asking dad to spend time with you driving so that you can get experience and he can see how well you are doing?
Both my older daughters were later in getting their licenses and one had fears the same as you. You can only get through it by practice. Some people never truly get over the fear, but they learn how to maneuver successfully.
There are bunches of people I know who avoid the highways/freeways/interstates etc like the plague. That doesn't mean they can't do it, it just means it scares them still.
So it's nothing new to be scared of it and with practice you can either master it or learn to deal with it.
My D is almost 18 -had license since she was 16- she has driven thru Atlanta twice in the past month and did perfectly fine and it is very scary for an adult- when she went yesterday she called and said there was a wreck-I looked online and it wasn't going to clear for an hour-closed interstate- so everyone parked and hung out on the interstate and median-I was so proud of her-she has accomplished something that some adults hate to do-driving thru a big city....You will do fine-I also recommend looking at google maps -I even do that when i am going somewhere new-
My 19 yr old just got his license and has only been on the freeway once, and never alone. I'm going to suggest he go on a Sunday morning drive to his college because that's the one route he will be taking in the fall that he needs to be comfortable driving by himself.
After my daughter started driving I asked her if she wanted to practice on the freeway and she told me she had already been doing it, driving friends around, etc., without my knowledge (not that she wasn't allowed, I just didn't realize she was doing it). In a way it was better becasue I never had to worry . She is much more adventurous than my son and is now driving all over LA with her GPS at her side.
Your father's attitude is crippling you. Has he done this to you for other things throughout your life?
You must take control of yourself. I have always found that facing my fears is the best way of overcoming them. Do the things you fear most and they lose their power over you, whether that is driving, or defying your father. Get on that expressway, Girl. You're a grown up woman, so start acting like one.
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. She is much more adventurous than my son and is now driving all over LA with her GPS at her side.
