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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
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This is such a disservice to kids that will leave them ill-prepared for the real world. Not everyone gets promoted (or these days or even get to keep their job) they are going to lose sometimes and not get a trophy. Better they learn this lesson early in life.
This is such a disservice to kids that will leave them ill-prepared for the real world. Not everyone gets promoted (or these days or even get to keep their job) they are going to lose sometimes and not get a trophy. Better they learn this lesson early in life.
This was never about winning or losing and not receiving a trophy, but rather about receiving a trophy for simply participating in a sport. I mean, really, who cares!? However, since it is so important to you, Alanboy, you should make your feelings clear to the coach on any sporting team your child participates in, to ensure that your child does not receive a trophy, if they are distributed for simply participating, so your child will "learn his lesson early in life".
Personally, I never cared whatsoever. If they want to distribute trophys to all members of a team, fine. If they only want to give the MVP a trophy, fine. And if they don't give trophys at all, that's fine, too. My kids never cared that much, either, when receiving a participation trophy. They received their trophy, looked at it, put it down and moved on to doing something else. Maybe others have different experiences.
It is moving beyond kids. I heard that when you sign up here you automatically get 10 positive reputation credits added to your profile. I guess they don't want us to cry with zero.
When I was a kid I sucked at everything. I was never good at sports and did not have the best grades so I often saw kids get awards where I got nothing. It did hurt. So when my son was a little guy and started playing T-ball, he got a trophy at the end of the season. The look on his face was priceless. But as he got older I started to rethink the whole trophy thing.
As he moved up trophies were expected at the end of the season and it started to bother me. It no longer became special. When he was in scouts he worked his tail off (he was never very good at sports but excelled in scouting) and for a few years his troop leaders were old school. You only got the badge if you did the work. So my son started to become more competitive and work hard for that reward. Then a new troop leader took over and pretty much everyone got a badge whether they did the work or not. I then saw my son develop the attitude "why bother?" Eventually he lost interest in scouts. We did move to another state but when I suggested finding a new troop he just didnt seem interested. I personally think it became boring for him because that drive was gone.
I feel giving out trophies for the little ones is a good idea because it shows some commitment and a reward is given for that. But the stakes need to be higher as the kids get older, just like life because we are now raising kids to have an attitude of self entitlement or poor work ethics.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by twins4lynn
This was never about winning or losing and not receiving a trophy, but rather about receiving a trophy for simply participating in a sport. I mean, really, who cares!? However, since it is so important to you, Alanboy, you should make your feelings clear to the coach on any sporting team your child participates in, to ensure that your child does not receive a trophy, if they are distributed for simply participating, so your child will "learn his lesson early in life".
Personally, I never cared whatsoever. If they want to distribute trophys to all members of a team, fine. If they only want to give the MVP a trophy, fine. And if they don't give trophys at all, that's fine, too. My kids never cared that much, either, when receiving a participation trophy. They received their trophy, looked at it, put it down and moved on to doing something else. Maybe others have different experiences.
One I'm 22 and have no kids.
Giving everyone a trophy kinda cheapens the meaning of being in a team sport. Showing up and trying your hardest are to be expected I don't think you reward it with a trophy. Recognize it but save the trophies for those who shine.
I played sports in the 90's. For soccer only first and second place received trophies. For softball every team got them. However, in no way were they all the same. First place got the biggest ones, second place had ones that were a little smaller, and everyone else had ones that were smallerand for participation.
I am right there too! We play sports and my boys whether their team wins the season or not get the "complimentary" trophy. It sets such a low standard for achievement.
Not to stray from the OP topic, but from my own experience the schools play into this whole "everyone wins" mentality too. These award programs at year-end that start at the kindergarten level allow EVERYONE to get something (such as awards for nice smile, friendliness, good listener). It really makes me want to stand up at those events and shout out what these events are really setting our kids up for.
I am a parent who believes that "not everyone wins" and I find myself doing more things as a parent to counteract this crazy "lets make everything fair" society that I am growing my children up in. My 3rd grader this year got an award for all A's the entire year - the award right after his was a kid in his class who got the 3rd place award for the running long jump from Track and Field day held months earlier. It is as if those two are compared and equal during what was supposed to be the academic year-end awards. The teacher wanted everyone to get an award and I suppose for some they were trying to find anything! Give me a break!
School awards should be about rewarding those who academically succeed and forget trying to "come up" with awards so that everyone gets one! And sports awards should be a trophy only for the winner.
Giving everyone a trophy kinda cheapens the meaning of being in a team sport. Showing up and trying your hardest are to be expected I don't think you reward it with a trophy. Recognize it but save the trophies for those who shine.
Why try your hardest when you get a trophy for just showing up a couple times.
Actually, you don't even have to show up half the time. All you need to do is have your name on the roster and show up for the first practice and the awards ceremony. You'll still go home with a trophy because YOU'RE A WINNER AND YOU EARNED IT JUST BY BEING YOU !!!
Even Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts have fallen into that frame of mind that the fragile self esteem must be protected at all costs. My daughter was in Brownies and badges were handed out like candy. They didn't have to earn any of them.
That has not been my family's experience in Boy Souts. My husband was a leader, and there were parents who took their boys out of Boy Scouts because they weren't getting a free ride. My son worked hard for his Eagle. There are strict rules, and all leaders abided by them. Many of the people who work with the scouts on badges are specialists in their fields, not leaders associated with the troop.
My grandfather was a Boy Scout executive who designed many of the boy scout camps across the northeast, so I do know a thing or two about the history and standards of scouts. Sadly, some councils are more serious than others. I'm sorry to hear that your council isn't one of them. But where I live, Boy Scouts is just as difficult as it was 60 years ago.
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