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But, IMO, respect is different than simply following what an adult tells a child to do, just because the adult happens to be older than the child. My older child is a very respectful person. He always says please, thank you, sir and ma'am. But he isn't taught to follow what any and all adults tell him to do.
I think the issue is that while kids should be taught to respect adults, that does not mean doing whatever some adult tells them. I mean who REALLY wants any adult to have the power to tell your kids to do ANYTHING the adult wants? That would not be a good thing.
It is a balancing act to get kids to learn the difference between respecting adults and doing whatever an adult asks them to do.
But WHY should my kids, who were there first, have to listen to a total stranger? Because she is an adult? Sorry, that old fashioned thing doesn't fly with me.
Actually, since my children would be acting in an age appropriate manner in an acceptable place, the OP would be picking the fight, not the kids. Big NO.
Here is what the OP said happen. We have to believe what she said is true.
Quote:
At one point, my DH and I entered the smaller pool of 104 degrees. Soon after, three young boys -- maybe seven or eight, jumped in, and started swimming around the pool, splashing with their kicks.
It is not about kids having to listen to total strangers. What I am talking about is kids deciding whether it is in their interest or not to "listen". It is not in their interest to keep on splashing in the small pool, the one they entered after the OP and the one in which she told them to stop splashing.
To not listen to another person just because you want to prove that you don't have to listen is not in a child's interest. Why? Because this brings up feelings that have nothing to do with having fun. And I don't think it is feelings of empowerment. Feeling empowered means that you can control your behavior and not allow things to happen to you. However, you don't do this out of fear of being controlled and that is the feeling I get from your post. You do this because you have control over your behavior which includes determining that this is a silly thing to fight over and walking away.
Standing up to somebody just for the sake of standing up for yourself is not the same as standing up for yourself when the other person is CLEARLY wrong and when the situation is worth standing up for. You want your children to know when it is best to walk away and when it is not. Not all things are worth standing up for. This is one of those situations.
Now, according to the OP, nobody was in the second pool when she was swimming, so she was surprised to find children diving near her after she observed that nobody was at the end she was at. Whether or not the kids did it on purpose is still up in the air and cannot be determined without their input.
Here is what the OP said happen. We have to believe what she said is true.
It is not about kids having to listen to total strangers. What I am talking about is kids deciding whether it is in their interest or not to "listen". It is not in their interest to keep on splashing in the small pool, the one they entered after the OP and the one in which she told them to stop splashing.
To not listen to another person just because you want to prove that you don't have to listen is not in a child's interest. Why? Because this brings up feelings that have nothing to do with having fun. And I don't think it is feelings of empowerment. Feeling empowered means that you can control your behavior and not allow things to happen to you. However, you don't do this out of fear of being controlled and that is the feeling I get from your post. You do this because you have control over your behavior which includes determining that this is a silly thing to fight over and walking away.
Standing up to somebody just for the sake of standing up for yourself is not the same as standing up for yourself when the other person is CLEARLY wrong and when the situation is worth standing up for. You want your children to know when it is best to walk away and when it is not. Not all things are worth standing up for. This is one of those situations.
Now, according to the OP, nobody was in the second pool when she was swimming, so she was surprised to find children diving near her after she observed that nobody was at the end she was at. Whether or not the kids did it on purpose is still up in the air.
This is the best post on this thread so far! Well put!
I'm sorry, I must be stupid, but I don't think the boys were wrong. Period.
Okay, but the situation was not worth standing up for. They moved to another pool and the OP said nothing to them, just a little upset that they dived near her.
You just seem to be responding argumentatively to everything I say on this thread, even after I pointed out that we can all reasonably disagree and still be good parents. I even complimented you, so obviously, I'm not interested in a fight. What's the point in continuing one after that?
I don't see it as a fight. I see it as a conversation between two dissenting opinions (or perhaps 3 or 4).
*shrug*
Tone is hard to read online.
So true!
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