Visitors and teens going out while visitors are visiting. (game, activities, permanent)
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My mom's friend from England is visiting for a week I believe he has been here for a few days and the other night my brother told my friend who is staying with us that my mom does not like us going out and doing things while (her friend) is in town.
She doesn't want my brother going down to the skate park, she doesn't want us going to hang out with people.
My friend is staying with his mom while my mom's friend is staying with us and my mom doesn't want us hanging out everyday.
She wants us to do things as a group while he is here.
TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
BUT
She has nothing planned, he has nothing planned, we have just been sitting around the house.
I could see if we were going to visit museums, going to see the mountains with him, going out to do things etc but we have not.
What I don't think is understandable is thinking that my brother and I should have to sit around the house when we have nothing planned.
We have dropped our friends and gone out to dinner, we have gone out to the fireworks show etc already. So when there are things that we have to do and we have planned we go do it with no issue, so that's not the problem.
Just when he and my mom are sitting and talking about homes and moving and looking into other towns and financial stuff. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to out with friends.
Also he is jet-lagged like none other, so he has been going to bed between 8-9pm.
There is no way I am coming in at that time and there is no reason for me to spend time with my friends after 8pm until whenever I am ready to come home.
Me coming in late is not an issue because I don't make noise when I come in. I came in at nearly 2am last night and her friend didn't wake up. My mom and brother were still awake.
Plus, I can just sleep in the basement while he is here and my mom can have my room and I can come in through the basement and no one would even notice.
But back to my question:
Should my brother and I be required to spend every waking moment at home, doing nothing or should we be able to go out while there is nothing planned?
Like right now they are out running errands. I am sorry but I don't think I need to be present while they run errands but they are planning for the mountains, I am all game for that when it is planned.
Should my brother and I be required to spend every waking moment at home, doing nothing or should we be able to go out while there is nothing planned?
Like right now they are out running errands. I am sorry but I don't think I need to be present while they run errands but they are planning for the mountains, I am all game for that when it is planned.
I think you and your brother should go about your regular routine and activities while the visitor is there, joining in when it makes sense (trips, perhaps a special dinner on his last night). Reading all this, I wonder if your mom isn't comfortable being alone with the guy.
She's been friends with him since I was 8 or so and I am now nearly 21. She is just pissy because we rather spend all our time with friends and only go do stuff when its planned. She actally expects us to just sit around and hope they plan something vs getting out during the summer and being active.
Why don't YOU make some plans for the group??? Why not look up some local (interesting) stuff to do and say "okay, I've made plans for all of us today. we're going to the museum/zoo/waterpark/whatever".
To just sit around like a lump and complain about it is accomplishing nothing.
Another thing I don't get .... you said you're 21. Why aren't you working instead of sitting around the house?
Time for YOU to start doing the planning. I'd be ushering everybody into the car to see every historical landmark, cemetary, city hall, miniature golf course, museum, supermarket, auto dealership, library, congressional office, tree-shaped-like-Lincoln's-nose, public swimming pool, nicest house in town, worst house in town, pet store where we got Fluffy, (you get the idea) in town.
Wear them out. Talk the whole time. Don't allow bathroom breaks. Or food. Or water.
They'll beg you to leave them alone and you can go have fun and stay out until two a.m. (Dang! Don't you have to, like, get up and go to work the next day?)
sounds like your mom's friend is there to visit her not you. I can see why she would want you present for a special dinner or two but not the whole time.
talk to her about it and how it just doesn't make any sense. tell her I said so.....
Why don't YOU make some plans for the group??? Why not look up some local (interesting) stuff to do and say "okay, I've made plans for all of us today. we're going to the museum/zoo/waterpark/whatever".
To just sit around like a lump and complain about it is accomplishing nothing.
Another thing I don't get .... you said you're 21. Why aren't you working instead of sitting around the house?
Because those plans cost money.
And then I get bitched at for bring up things that cost money.
Me: Let's go do (this).
Mom: Do you know how much that cost? Did you even look to see if they are having a discount or anything? No. That's what I thought because you are too stupid to do anything like that now aren't you?
Do you know how many times a day I hear that from her?
A lot.
And I work Wednesday and Thursday from 12 to 5, so I can stay up till 4am and still be able to get up on time.
Time for YOU to start doing the planning. I'd be ushering everybody into the car to see every historical landmark, cemetary, city hall, miniature golf course, museum, supermarket, auto dealership, library, congressional office, tree-shaped-like-Lincoln's-nose, public swimming pool, nicest house in town, worst house in town, pet store where we got Fluffy, (you get the idea) in town.
Wear them out. Talk the whole time. Don't allow bathroom breaks. Or food. Or water.
They'll beg you to leave them alone and you can go have fun and stay out until two a.m. (Dang! Don't you have to, like, get up and go to work the next day?)
Dang! I do.....at noon. Like I said in the other reply. I am in training right now and I only work Wednesday and Thursdays 12-5 right now. And I can stay up as late as I please. I can function on a few hours of sleep and be just fine.
Better be careful, Mom will be moving her "friend" into the house permanently. Then you won't have room for your "friend" who is living there and you might have to move out (and be an adult ...)
I can see the drama now.. OMG.
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