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My 7 year old seems to get bullied in every environment from preschool to Kindergarten to First Grade and now at Summer Camp. Nothing serious but lots of little verbal incidences which really get to him. He also appears to have difficultly making friends. He is painfully shy at school (though just the opposite at home) and his older brother has Autism which does not help in terms of social role models. There must be something I can do apart from talks and books that can help him. Does anyone know of any really good resources I can use to help him? Maybe a bully protection workshop or a self esteem workshop. We live in Massapequa, NY.
My 7 year old seems to get bullied in every environment from preschool to Kindergarten to First Grade and now at Summer Camp. Nothing serious but lots of little verbal incidences which really get to him. He also appears to have difficultly making friends. He is painfully shy at school (though just the opposite at home) and his older brother has Autism which does not help in terms of social role models. There must be something I can do apart from talks and books that can help him. Does anyone know of any really good resources I can use to help him? Maybe a bully protection workshop or a self esteem workshop. We live in Massapequa, NY.
I was shy and not Mr. Popular. "stick and stones" first, then set up some play dates with some kids in the school he gets along with. Having friends to diffuse situations helps a lot. Either way, him coming out of his shell will do wonders.
I was a fat Polish kid in elementary and was picked on frequently. One day this kid, a bit smaller than me started touching my person, making fun of my weight, I got so angry, I turned around and punched him in the face. I got into very little trouble because the teachers knew it wasn't in my nature and several students said, " Anthony Destafano was making fun of "Fat Steve." A couple of days later I remember Ant apologizing, we shook hands, we became friends and no one else in my last years at that school called me "Fat Steve." Remind you, this was back in the 70's in a mafioso area of Brooklyn. Parents were different back then so what I did work for me. In this day and age where parents stand at the corner waiting for the school bus with their children who are in junior high and parents wanting to call the police and sue whoever than can for just looking at their child, that same incident might make Newsday.
Karate is actually a great idea. It's a individual sport in a group dynamic. So... if he can't drop a ball and "lose the big game" for everybody else... he can progress at his own pace and is responsible for his own success (cuts down on trash talk)... but there is still something to challenge him and - if you pick the right school, it's a also disciplined environment.
I started when i was 15, but by the time I was 17, my friends and I were teaching the junior classes with the younger kids... lots of them kind of like your son. I think it helped all of them. We didn't let them get picked on... but also didn't fight their battles for them. By and large, i'd say most of the kids in these classes were also the least likely to get into fights at school.
Group activities and socialization are key. He's learning how to cope with crappy people now.
Have you spoken with the counselors at camp? They might be able to offer suggestions or assist him with pairings up with other kids with similar interests. I know, it's hard -- my daughter is quiet and sometime kids would say stuff that would upset her. She finally got to the point of defending herself verbally and, on one occasion physically -- one of life's lessons I suppose (I'm from Bklyn so I've had to temper my advice a bit). Of course, if he's getting really upset to the point he doesn't want to go or seems very depressed, that's a different situation. Good luck!
When I was I kid in the city the picking on was endless and ruthless. One day the biggest kid in my grade and most annoying bully kept touching me and bothering me. Something snapped inside of me and I went absolutely ballistic on the punk and beat him to a pulp. After this nobody bothered me much. I may have even gotten in trouble in school but it was well worth it. After that I was established. Every kid needs to establish themselves and let others know that they are not going to take everyone's crap. One little outrageous retaliatory outburst could go a long way in preventing future bullies from targeting a kid as a "softee".
Samyn, you and I shared a very similar experience. Although I didn't beat my tormentor to a pulp and later in the day I cried profusely for hitting another person. In retrospect, I do believe I gained respect and the bullying did stop. As I said in my post with today's parents the results might be much different and not for the better.
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