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So called unconditional love is not always very smart. It isn't admirable at all to see people blindly love and not see evil or wrong.
That's not what unconditional love means to me. Unconditional love means loving the person even if you don't love the behavior. No matter what you do, I will always love you. That doesn't mean I will always put up with bull****, financially support you forever, not turn you into the police. It simply means that I will always love you. Even tough love is unconditional love. Even if you throw an adult child out of the house, you never stop loving. You throw an adult child out because you love them.
For some reason people think they are supposed to unconditionally love their children. They don't. Not all parents do.
Unconditional: Not limited in any way (Merriam-Webster)
IMO, that is what is getting families and society in such a mess.
If you agree, I don't know how you could turn around and then say that we shouldn't unconditionally love children. We're saying that YES we should unconditionally love our children. We're saying that our love for them is separate from whatever they do. Nothing they can do will stop us from loving them. We can establish strong bounderies and still continue to love. Bondaries aren't conditions pertaining to love. Not IMO anyway. Because the love still remains. Maybe our miscommunication is that you believe "unconditional love" means never imposing consequences for actions. That's not what we're saying. We're saying that "unconditional love" means to never stop loving, hugging, kissing and showing affection even when impossing consequences for actions. You can kick an adult child out of the house and still love them, worry about them, and hug them when you see them. Some people WITHHOLD actual love as a punishment. That's CONDITIONAL LOVE. Imposing expectations for behavior isn't conditional love unless the parent literally stops loving.
If you agree, I don't know how you could turn around and then say that we shouldn't unconditionally love children. We're saying that YES we should unconditionally love our children. We're saying that our love for them is separate from whatever they do. Nothing they can do will stop us from loving them. We can establish strong bounderies and still continue to love. Bondaries aren't conditions pertaining to love. Not IMO anyway. Because the love still remains. Maybe our miscommunication is that you believe "unconditional love" means never imposing consequences for actions. That's not what we're saying. We're saying that "unconditional love" means to never stop loving, hugging, kissing and showing affection even when impossing consequences for actions. You can kick an adult child out of the house and still love them, worry about them, and hug them when you see them. Some people WITHHOLD actual love as a punishment. That's CONDITIONAL LOVE. Imposing expectations for behavior isn't conditional love unless the parent literally stops loving.
This:
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom I think the concept of unconditional love does not necessarily mean unconditional acceptance of poor behavior.
is what I agreed with.
'Not limited in any way' is pretty broad and I believe love is always limited in some way, or at least should be.
Everyone needs someone to lean on sometime. That doesn't mean you aren't self sufficient and mature. It just means we are all human and humans need other people for support sometimes.
Everyone needs someone to lean on sometime. That doesn't mean you aren't self sufficient and mature. It just means we are all human and humans need other people for support sometimes.
Tried to rep you. Totally agree. Just yesterday, I needed someone to lean on. My nephew was in a terrible car accident and is in a trama center. After visiting my brother who is sitting vigil at the hospital, I left feeling so sad and helpless. I NEEDED to lean on someone. I NEEDED to call a friend to talk about my sadness. After talking to my friend, I feel much better. It's easier to cope with tragedy when you have other people to share your feelings with.
Tried to rep you. Totally agree. Just yesterday, I needed someone to lean on. My nephew was in a terrible car accident and is in a trama center. After visiting my brother who is sitting vigil at the hospital, I left feeling so sad and helpless. I NEEDED to lean on someone. I NEEDED to call a friend to talk about my sadness. After talking to my friend, I feel much better. It's easier to cope with tragedy when you have other people to share your feelings with.
I tried to rep you too but I need to spread it around. Sorry about your nephew. I hope he is on the road to recovery!
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