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Old 06-22-2007, 12:50 PM
 
Location: TAMPA
45 posts, read 187,284 times
Reputation: 38

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[quote=. Good luck and the next time your hubby or friend complains, stick a boob in their mouth ROFL[/QUOTE]


I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY FRIEND BUT MY HUSBAND WOULD LOVE THAT ONE.
SOMETIMES I THINK HE'S JEALOUS OF ALL THE ATTENTION THE BABY GETS.

I JUST LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH AND I LOVE BREASTFEEDING HIM I FEEL WE HAVE THIS SPECIAL CONNECTION. I WOULD NEVER STOP DOING IT BECAUSE WHAT MY HUSBAND OR FRIEND THINKS.
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Old 06-22-2007, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Chattanooga TN
2,349 posts, read 9,495,629 times
Reputation: 1197
Quote:
Originally Posted by wenzeka View Post
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY FRIEND BUT MY HUSBAND WOULD LOVE THAT ONE.
SOMETIMES I THINK HE'S JEALOUS OF ALL THE ATTENTION THE BABY GETS.

I JUST LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH AND I LOVE BREASTFEEDING HIM I FEEL WE HAVE THIS SPECIAL CONNECTION. I WOULD NEVER STOP DOING IT BECAUSE WHAT MY HUSBAND OR FRIEND THINKS.
Amazing enough but a grown man CAN be jealous of their OWN child. I had a friend who's husband would actually pull the child off of her nipple and laugh. Cruel, mean and childish. Yes. They seperated shortly thereafter. Try to include him in your sessions. Maybe pump some and let him hold the child and feed him. Take the little one to bed w/the two of you on Sunday mornings and snuggle. Stuff like that can mean alot. Men have a hard time expressing themselves and he may feel left out.

Glad to hear that you will continue as you have been. Love that baby, smell his hair while he nurses and remember these moments. Mine is only 3 but I already miss the "baby-ness".
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Old 06-22-2007, 02:24 PM
 
955 posts, read 3,258,131 times
Reputation: 602
There is nothing wrong with a baby wanting to be loved and held - my daughter was this way for almost her first year... she is very loving but also very independent - as a working mommy - i do agree, your little one probably missed you all day - honestly they grow so fast - I would not think twice about "Spoiling" them (I don't think you can spoil them) by giving too much love. as long as they also have the oportuinty to explore and learn independently nothing wrong with that!

DD was nursed intil she was 18 months - baby number two is due in Feb. and I can say with out a doubt I would change nothing!
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Old 06-22-2007, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,954,304 times
Reputation: 2620
That's a totally NORMAL behavior for a baby that age. Of course he needs to be held - he's a baby! During the first year, the most important thing for a baby to learn is supposed to be trust, and he learns that by you responding to his cries and giving him what he needs. He is not trying to manipulate you by his cries, he's just trying to communicate his needs to you so that you can respond to them. He's a baby and he depends on you. If you do not respond, the message is that he can't trust mommy to take care of his needs. For some people, this is their goal - they want their baby to be self-sufficient at an early age. For me, I think that my baby is still just a baby, and for now it is my job to take care of her and meet her needs. She is not supposed to be, and does not need to be, self-sufficient at this time. I think it's just not a developmentally appropriate goal. Also, I don't think that breastfeeding has anything to do with it. And your baby and another baby are going to be completely different people with different levels of needs. Maybe your baby is more of a high needs baby, and that's just his personality. If you think this describes your baby, you might want to look at this book:
Amazon.com: The Fussy Baby How to Bring Out the Best in Your High-Need Child (Sears, William, Growing Family Series.): Books: William Sears,Martha Sears

Your baby hasn't seen you all day while you are at work, so he needs to cuddle with you when you are there! I think of it like a gas tank, but the gas is your love and attention. All day long he is tooling around at daycare and his tank is running down low. By the time you get there at the end of the day, he needs it filled up! So he wants to cuddle with you when you are there to fill up his tank so he can be ready for the next day at school without you. This is how I think of it anyway. And, since I am at work all day, I think it is so beneficial that I co-sleep with my baby, which gives her that extra mommy snuggle time through the night.

I would also suggest just using a good carrier and keeping him with you when you are doing stuff around the house. If you don't like your sling, you could try a different type of carrier. I never liked the sling as much as a mei tai. I got mine for $20 off of ebay. It holds the baby in an upright position rather than reclining. It's kinda like the snuggli / baby bjorn type carriers except that instead of the baby dangling by the crotch, he is in a more seated position, which I think would be more comfortable and better for spinal development. It also puts the weight over both shoulders and across your waist, so it doesn't hurt your back so much to carry a bigger baby like the bjorn style carriers do. You can carry a 35 pound child in one if you want! They can be worn on front or back also.
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Old 06-22-2007, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Phoenix...until next week, then Maryland...tick tock tick tock
169 posts, read 550,306 times
Reputation: 102
Yeah, I agree with most of the posts here. I think Skoe nailed it tho.

Really, enjoy the cuddliness while you can...I can't believe I'm saying that, because it drove me nuts when other people told me that! ...but it's true. Soon enough, they'll be up & around & won't have time for you to hold & snuggle them like that. I swear sometimes I could cuddle my son like he was a little teddy bear...if he'd let me!!

Really, tho, if you have something that needs doing & you can't hold him, then let him cry. As long as he isn't injured or sitting in poo (poo p is censored?? jeez...) or something, he'll be ok. Just put him in a swing or a jumperoo & do what you need to do. Before my BF & I moved in together, I was essentially a single mom & there were times that things had to get done & my son had to stay parked somewhere...& sometimes that meant I had to tough it out through him crying. It's just a reality.

I wouldn't worry about spoiling him just yet tho. If he were 2 or 3 & still doing that, then you have a bigger problem on your hands...
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Old 06-23-2007, 01:53 AM
 
28 posts, read 92,444 times
Reputation: 13
Hi,

Just wanted to put in my two cents....I have been nursing my daughter since she was 4 days old. Originally I was going to bottle feed due to medical issues, but I found a great lactation nurse and she helped me work through these issues so that I could nurse my daughter. From the moment she latched on I realized that I was doing the right thing. It was hard at times...nursing every 1-2 hours, dealing with engorgement and pretty much feeling like a milking cow, but I believe it has paid off. At about 7 months of age we began doing both nursing and formula...so that I could have some freedom and Dad could feel more independent with his daughter. It worked great for us and I remember that whenever my baby would cry I would try soothing her in many ways...from nursing to singing, dancing, walking her, bathing her etc....I didn't always give her a "boo boo" as she calls it right away, especially if I had just fed her. I do believe that if you are away from her while working that holding her alot is the best thing for her...I echo earlier remarks, she is too young to spoil. She is communicating to you in the only way she knows how at the present time and by ignoring that or not responding to her will only break down the security she feels from you. It wasn't until around 18 months or so that I let my daughter cry a bit to sleep and now I really know her cries ....some are real "help me I need something" and some are "I want to play more don't put me to bed". Either way I always respond and communicate my feelings to her. When I feel I have given her everything she needs and I need to give myself some attention that's when I draw the line. I now have a very strong willed/ confident/independent 2 year old...who by the way is still nursing ( a little before bed and a little upon waking). We have a very strong bond and our ability to communicate is increasing everyday which makes life a lot easier. I wish you the best in your Mothering...follow your heart and your gut. Motherly instinct is what I have been using because all of the books were giving mixed messages. Hold and love your baby...she'll love you for it!

sunspotsAZ
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:31 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,373,875 times
Reputation: 10471
I would say that your baby misses you when he is at daycare and what is wrong with that? Try spending a hour with him when you get home playing with him on the floor and see if things improve. He just wants his mom. I nursed all my kids and they are FAR from spoiled.
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Old 06-23-2007, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,400,928 times
Reputation: 2945
How could it ever be bad to hold your kid and make him feel safe.
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Old 06-23-2007, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities, CA
199 posts, read 1,010,045 times
Reputation: 81
I agree with all those who say your baby misses you and needs you to be with him. You can't spoil a baby by giving him what he needs; and being with Mommy is what he needs right now.

And I hate to disappoint your girlfriend but I have had clingy bottle fed babies as well as clingy breastfed babies.

When my babies were 5 months old, I made a lot of dinners with them in the backpack.

If your carrier isn't working for you, find another one. There are so many different types of baby carriers out there, its not even funny. The internet is full of them.

It is not unusual for the new dad to be surprised and even jealous about how much time the baby requires of mom. If he's mature, he'll adjust.
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Old 06-23-2007, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,841,602 times
Reputation: 1650
Quote:
Originally Posted by stellar9 View Post
And I hate to disappoint your girlfriend but I have had clingy bottle fed babies as well as clingy breastfed babies.

When my babies were 5 months old, I made a lot of dinners with them in the backpack.
Oh yeah mine were bottle fed and were always held as well. How many here totally learned to cook a full meal with only one hand? I became a pro at it...and my oldest was 20lbs at 4 months (he was also 29" long at that time)....so heavy I understand as well!...LOL
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