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Old 06-23-2007, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,001 posts, read 31,949,672 times
Reputation: 30382

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I'm a 19 year old who wants to visit his hometown this summer, which is about a four hour drive from where i live. My mother wont let me drive down there by myself. I have younger friends who are going to places like el salvador and hawaii by themselves on planes for a week and whose parents are paying and letting them and these folks ain't ones i trust fully a week by themselves. My plan is to drive down in the car i'm paying the payment and insurance on and pay my own way shopping, gas, all that, (i work 25 hrs a week and go to school). Also, i would stay with someone responsible like a well-known friend, one of my mother's good friends, or family. I'm also just not the party type, my plans are to hang out with my old friends, go to my old church, and go to the big malls, not get wasted (i don't party period where i live). I consider myself very responsible when compared to the average 19 yr old. If you were my parent knowing all this would you let me go? If you would how could i convince my mother?
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:18 AM
 
Location: State College PA
402 posts, read 1,994,083 times
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It sounds like you're pretty responsible, BUT...

It would depend on past history. Have you broken trust a lot? How's your driving record...clean? What are you driving through? (country vs. big city) Does she know everyone you're going to see (wow...visit your old church...good sign)

I kind of figure you're 19...I was in college then, living by myself with 50K other people, and driving 3 1/2 hours each way to get there. It should be fine, if all the ingredients are right!

If she's hesitant...I wonder if it's because you've been pretty sheltered, and she's not ready for this step?
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Southern NC
1,917 posts, read 4,225,024 times
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Um...you're 19, and legally considered an adult. You work....pay your car payment....no issue IMO....go and have fun!
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,001 posts, read 31,949,672 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vetegnc View Post
It sounds like you're pretty responsible, BUT...

It would depend on past history. Have you broken trust a lot? How's your driving record...clean? What are you driving through? (country vs. big city) Does she know everyone you're going to see (wow...visit your old church...good sign)

I kind of figure you're 19...I was in college then, living by myself with 50K other people, and driving 3 1/2 hours each way to get there. It should be fine, if all the ingredients are right!

If she's hesitant...I wonder if it's because you've been pretty sheltered, and she's not ready for this step?
Haven't broken any trust, clean but short driving record, driving from medium-sized city through country to a medium-sized city, knows everyone i'm going to see. Yes pretty sheltered, that might be it right there or the short driving record. (did i mention i was paying for the whole thing myself?)
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Old 06-23-2007, 06:35 AM
 
434 posts, read 1,561,452 times
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Uhm...when I turned 19 I was in the military on a training mission in Germany...

You may be a slack-jawed idiot or the most responsible kid in the world...bottom line tell your Mom you love her and her job is done! Whatever she hasn't taught you by now it's probably to late (at least until you become a father) However, just remember she is within HER rights to pull the cash if she is paying for school etc... You can't be really independent until you are ...well really independent!
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Old 06-23-2007, 09:01 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,132 times
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Move out. Plain and simple as long as you live with Mom, Mom rules, not fair sometimes but its the way it is.
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Old 06-23-2007, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Far Western KY
1,833 posts, read 5,752,426 times
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When I was 19 I was living on my own, in Turkey 8000 miles away from my parents ... a bit further than 4 hours away.
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Old 06-23-2007, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,399,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alanboy395 View Post
I'm a 19 year old who wants to visit his hometown this summer, which is about a four hour drive from where i live. My mother wont let me drive down there by myself. I have younger friends who are going to places like el salvador and hawaii by themselves on planes for a week and whose parents are paying and letting them and these folks ain't ones i trust fully a week by themselves. My plan is to drive down in the car i'm paying the payment and insurance on and pay my own way shopping, gas, all that, (i work 25 hrs a week and go to school). Also, i would stay with someone responsible like a well-known friend, one of my mother's good friends, or family. I'm also just not the party type, my plans are to hang out with my old friends, go to my old church, and go to the big malls, not get wasted (i don't party period where i live). I consider myself very responsible when compared to the average 19 yr old. If you were my parent knowing all this would you let me go? If you would how could i convince my mother?
Heres where I talk out of both sides of my face, after reading what you wrote I beleive you are a good guy that just wants a bit of freedom and as a father of an 18 year old myself i'd want to see you get the chance. Now where I change directions, man is it hard letting go. If I ever give permission for my son to go do something and he ever gets hurt in the process i'll kick myself till the day I die.

Advice....don't bring up what your friends are doing this summer...Try Mom I love ya but I want this....She knows what a good person you are, shes your Mom....good luck!
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Old 06-23-2007, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 21,128,367 times
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I respect your desire to not go against your mother's wishes...many kids would have just gone whether she likes it or not.
Is the issue really about you driving 4 hours, or is it that you want to spend the entire summer away from your mother?
Perhaps your mother would feel more assured if you promised to stop at a halfway point and call her, and then call her again when you arrive at your destination.
You might also want to enlist the help of the family/family friend(s) you are going to stay with...ask them to help you convince your mother. Your mother might be more likely to be persuaded by her peers.
If your mother is having a hard time dealing with the fact you will be away from her for so long, promise to call regularly (perhaps daily or every other day), and perhaps come home for a week in the middle of the summer...or perhaps she could come visit you halfway through.
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Old 06-23-2007, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,001 posts, read 31,949,672 times
Reputation: 30382
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001 View Post
I respect your desire to not go against your mother's wishes...many kids would have just gone whether she likes it or not.
Is the issue really about you driving 4 hours, or is it that you want to spend the entire summer away from your mother?
Perhaps your mother would feel more assured if you promised to stop at a halfway point and call her, and then call her again when you arrive at your destination.
You might also want to enlist the help of the family/family friend(s) you are going to stay with...ask them to help you convince your mother. Your mother might be more likely to be persuaded by her peers.
If your mother is having a hard time dealing with the fact you will be away from her for so long, promise to call regularly (perhaps daily or every other day), and perhaps come home for a week in the middle of the summer...or perhaps she could come visit you halfway through.
this is a friday morning to monday morning thing. not exactly the whole summer. also footing the bill for school myself.
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