Help!!! My wife is lazy... (behave, attention, parent, chores)

[haggardhouseelf]

If I were needing help with a parenting issue, I wouldn't seek advice from even a professional therapist who had never been a parent themselves. Even the years we've had teachers who were childless were frustrating - the teachers often didn't "get it" like the teachers who had their own children most often do. If I needed marital counseling, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a counselor who had not experienced being a married person themselves. And especially one who had several divorces under their belt. Maybe it's just me. I'd feel like I was talking to a hypocrit the whole time. Someone trying to fix other people's problems when they can't even manage their own. Who cares what they got a degree in, anybody can pay tuition and show up for class and get a degree. Doesn't mean any of us has to trust them.

It would feel like taking financial advice from a person who's never saved a penny in their lives, a broke person living paycheck to paycheck who charges family vacations and Christmas on credit cards, or someone who's about to file bankruptcy or something. Why would anyone do that? Unless they want to learn what not to do, I suppose.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by NoExcuses

You stated NO ONE remembers being a preschooler. An incorrect blanket statement.

splitting. hairs.

Let me be more specific so you can understand what I mean. I can only speak for myself, but IF I ever offer advice about a teen issue (which I usually do not) I state that I'm basing my opinion on what I was like/what my parents did or didn't do when I was a teen. I have a fairly good memory of it.

I have never seen a post where a childless person bases their response on what it was like to BE a toddler. That would be ridiculous.

If you really think that a non-parent can offer advice that is just as valid as a parent, you are devaluing your experience as a parent.

The childless who post here devalue their own advice by criticizing the parents and calling the kids "brats" or similar. I will be on the lookout for any REAL advice from the childless. "Should have thought of that before you had kids" doesn't count.

[Momma_bear]

It's very interesting which posts get flagged as off topic and which ones don't.

[Childfree35]

[quote=Magritte25;15419333]

When did I compare dogs to children? Pets and kids are NOTHING AT ALL ALIKE. I HATE when childfree people say they are.

I think you want to be difficult.

Some people need training sometimes. Start off with caring for a pet. Just because you want to be a parent, doesn't mean you should.

That's my point.

Not trying to offend anyone. Not calling children animals, sweetie.

[Magritte25]

[quote=Childfree35;15430081]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

I think you want to be difficult.

Some people need training sometimes. Start off with caring for a pet. Just because you want to be a parent, doesn't mean you should.

That's my point.

Not trying to offend anyone. Not calling children animals, sweetie.

Ok sweetie...you still haven't shown me where I compared children to dogs. I think it's highly insulting to do so.

[Childfree35]

[quote=Magritte25;15430224]

Originally Posted by Childfree35

Ok sweetie...you still haven't shown me where I compared children to dogs. I think it's highly insulting to do so.

I know. That's why I didn't, geesh!

[Magritte25]

Originally Posted by Childfree35

Nope. I have raised kids before.

Parenting is a hard job. Yes, I get that.

Don't sit and say, a childfree person can't comment. You don't know. You don't.

I may talk to my friend about a dog. She may suggest something. It could work. Not sure.

Then what's up with this comment?

[Coldjensens]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

When did I compare dogs to children? Pets and kids are NOTHING AT ALL ALIKE. I HATE when childfree people say they are.

Your view doesn't bother me but I do post on message boards to exchange information and it's helpful to know where I am getting the info from.

I'd love an example of your BTW.

That is a valid comparison. I have 5 kids and two dogs and sometimes I cannot tell which is which. My kids used to eat the dog food and the dogs eat the kid food. I grab a chair and yell "SIT" to a kid having a tantrum and the kid and both of the dogs sit down and listen to me. I yell "NO" and all kids and dogs in the area stop what they are doing. I ask the dogs "Want to go for a ride?" and I find the kids waiting at the car door panting with excitment. The kids might say "can we get ice cream" with their mouths and the dogs only say it with their eyes, tail and drool, but the meesage is the same. My kids use the dogs brush sometimes on the dogs, sometimes on their own hair. Apparently, they cannot tell the difference either.

[NoExcuses]

Originally Posted by Coldjensens

That is a valid comparison. I have 5 kids and two dogs and sometimes I cannot tell which is which. My kids used to eat the dog food and the dogs eat the kid food. I grab a chair and yell "SIT" to a kid having a tantrum and the kid and both of the dogs sit down and listen to me. I yell "NO" and all kids and dogs in the area stop what they are doing. I ask the dogs "Want to go for a ride?" and I find the kids waiting at the car door panting with excitment. The kids might say "can we get ice cream" with their mouths and the dogs only say it with their eyes, tail and drool, but the meesage is the same. My kids use the dogs brush sometimes on the dogs, sometimes on their own hair. Apparently, they cannot tell the difference either.

Are you a writer? I enjoy your posts more than any others. You're great.

[Magritte25]

If you all think your children are like dogs, that's great. I obviously disagree.