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I do think the op should have considered her lack of housekeeping skills BEFORE deciding to add three other bodies to the load.
Meh....I know some pretty awesome parents who are not good housekeepers as well as some pretty awesome housekeepers who should never be parents. Unless someone's housekeeping is so bad that there is a question of mental illness (I'm talking "Hoarders" here....) then one really doesn't have anything to do with the other.
Some parents are all alike. You sit and complain about your brats. Someone suggest a solution and you say, "hey do have any kids. You don't know what you're talkin about". Hey, you the parent and you don't know what you're doing.
Like I said, before. Some should've thought twice before this decision. This is a decision not to be made lightly. No do overs.
Having a baby doesn't make a good parent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf
It irks me, too, when people who have never been parents themselves try to offer parenting advice.
I just don't understand why people try to give advice concerning something they've never themselves experienced, and in some cases are choosing NOT to experience. So you're choosing not to have children, which is fine. I'm all for people choosing not to have children. We have a population problem on this planet, after all. Yet, these child-free people will reply to threads in a parenting forum? It's just odd.
You know what screams hypocrite? When people criticize those with no children posting on this forum, but the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "get him/her into therapy immediately". Therapists don't always have children, but there are a lot of those here who think they have all the answers. They don't. No one does. Those who think therapists have answers really IRKS me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I never understood my sister's parenting and kids til I had them. I'm telling you that unless you raise your own kids or raise other people's kids in a parental type manner you cannot understand it.
Simply not true. Sometimes being on the outside looking in gives a clearer perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951
Is there space for two on your rantbox? I don't mind at all if they offer suggestions or empathy, but what I cannot stand is the childless flamers in this forum who routinely refer bash parents (mothers in particular) and refer to children as brats.
There is no experience similar enough to parenting that could possibly make one an expert on raising children. None. Not teaching. Not nannying. Not being an older sibling. It. is. not. the. same. Anyone who is not raising children does not know what it is like to raise children.
People who have no children can usually see what monsters a lot of those who DO have children are raising. They are in the general population, and YOUR kids will be growing up in THEIR world, not just your world. They can objectively see what overindulgent parenting produces, and permissive parenting. They give objective opinions on WHAT THEY SEE. Priceless advice from the real world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Amen. It's not that being a parent makes you know everything, it means that you know where the other parent is coming from and how very difficult and exhausting the experience is. You cannot describe it for people who haven't dealt with it.
Parenting should NOT be exhausting. It is the most natural thing that exists.
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Originally Posted by skahar
Are the childfree people any different than the people with toddlers and babies offering their wisdom on teenagers?
No difference at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
maybe a little. I at least remember BEING a teenager. I also always preface my responses to those with "I don't have teens yet." If I even answer at all. I normally don't.
Do you honestly think that those without children CANNOT remember being teens?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Childfree35
I said, she is a lazy bum. He shouldn't have married her.
I also said, if this was a woman complaining about her husband -- you women would sing a different tune.
Meh....I know some pretty awesome parents who are not good housekeepers as well as some pretty awesome housekeepers who should never be parents. Unless someone's housekeeping is so bad that there is a question of mental illness (I'm talking "Hoarders" here....) then one really doesn't have anything to do with the other.
That's how I feel. Maybe because I know I am a lazy housekeeper myself. My house is sanitary. Nobody will get sick from eating here. I pay someone to do the stuff I hate to do.
I pay attention to my kids, what they need, who they are, etc. I shop for and cook their favorite foods. I make sure they get to and from their activities. I make sure that everything is in line for the beginning of the school year. I talk to them. Sometimes I watch tv with them (the horror-TV).
If three days of newspapers pile up on the end of the counter before I take them to the recycling bin, nothing bad will happen. I promise.
I'm a pretty mediocre housekeeper myself. Some days it's pretty good, other days not so much. <shrugs> But my kids are pretty cool! I figure I'll have all kinds of time to dust when they're gone.
Parenting should NOT be exhausting. It is the most natural thing that exists.
Are you kidding me? Modern parenting is ABSOLUTELY exhausting. Many of us live hundreds of miles from extended family and have only cursory relationships with our neighbors, which means there is nobody to help when you are at the end of your rope. And, if you dare to express even a hint of being overwhelmed, people assume something is wrong with you. City-Data is full of judgmental and condescending women who will jump all over you if they sense a weakness.
There is nothing inherently wrong with a mother who struggles under the constant demands of raising a family. The problem is that the real village required to shepherd a young person to adulthood and support families has been replaced by virtual communities full of anonymous people who seem to derive joy in degrading others or at least planting the seeds of self-doubt. It's like a pit of vipers in here.
Right now, my house is a mess, my hormonal preteen daughter is having snit in her room because I embarrassed her at middle school registration, my husband is working from home today and is short-tempered about it, and my son is bouncing off the walls for reasons unknown and just spilled watermelon juice all over the couch. I was up most of the night worrying about my father, who is undergoing radiation treatment for prostate cancer, and feeling guilty for not getting on a plane to go offer my support in person. Life is hard for all of us. The least we can do is not add to the drama by criticizing the OP's wife, someone who's not even here to defend herself.
Having a baby doesn't make a good parent.You know what screams hypocrite? When people criticize those with no children posting on this forum, but the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "get him/her into therapy immediately". Therapists don't always have children, but there are a lot of those here who think they have all the answers. They don't. No one does. Those who think therapists have answers really IRKS me.Simply not true. Sometimes being on the outside looking in gives a clearer perspective.
People who have no children can usually see what monsters a lot of those who DO have children are raising. They are in the general population, and YOUR kids will be growing up in THEIR world, not just your world. They can objectively see what overindulgent parenting produces, and permissive parenting. They give objective opinions on WHAT THEY SEE. Priceless advice from the real world.Parenting should NOT be exhausting. It is the most natural thing that exists.No difference at all. Do you honestly think that those without children CANNOT remember being teens?100% right.
That's not what I said. The question was - is a person with no kids offering advice the same as a parent, but w/o teens offering advice on teens.
I remember being a teen. No one remembers being a preschooler. That is my point.
How nice for you that you had a perfect parenting experience... or a selective memory.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 08-10-2010 at 03:56 PM..
Are you kidding me? Modern parenting is ABSOLUTELY exhausting. Many of us live hundreds of miles from extended family and have only cursory relationships with our neighbors, which means there is nobody to help when you are at the end of your rope. And, if you dare to express even a hint of being overwhelmed, people assume something is wrong with you. City-Data is full of judgmental and condescending women who will jump all over you if they sense a weakness.
There is nothing inherently wrong with a mother who struggles under the constant demands of raising a family. The problem is that the real village required to shepherd a young person to adulthood and support families has been replaced by virtual communities full of anonymous people who seem to derive joy in degrading others or at least planting the seeds of self-doubt. It's like a pit of vipers in here.
Right now, my house is a mess, my hormonal preteen daughter is having snit in her room because I embarrassed her at middle school registration, my husband is working from home today and is short-tempered about it, and my son is bouncing off the walls for reasons unknown and just spilled watermelon juice all over the couch. I was up most of the night with insomnia, worrying about my father, who is undergoing radiation treatment for prostate cancer, and feeling guilty for not getting on a plane to go offer my support in person. Life is hard for all of us. The least we can do is not add to the drama by criticizing the OP's wife, someone who's not even here to defend herself.
I have memories of nursery school, and I have very vivid memories of being 3 years old, when my sister was born. I remember entire events, specific days, and mundane moments. I remember my temper tantrums...I thought everyone remembered this stuff. Maybe some people just have lousy memories, and assume, incorrectly, that everyone else does too. Just like I assumed incorrectly that everyone remembers being a preschooler.
Amazing to learn that it's a parent who doesn't remember being a child. It definitely explains some mysteries.
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Having a baby doesn't make a good parent.
Yet, these child-free people will reply to threads in a parenting forum? It's just odd.
