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You seem really defensive. I wasn't speaking directly to you or the op. I'm sorry if you interpreted my post that way. I was speaking more generally about a trend that I've noticed among parents over the past couple of years.
Truth be told, I didn't read your last post, and on this one, I stopped halfway through the first paragraph. The posts were long, and I was lazy.
I'm not interested in a fight with you or anyone. Have a great night!
Not a problem. It's just that there is sometimes a very anti-gifted undercurrent on these boards. No offense taken.
I'm not addressing anyone in particular here, but I was in gifted programs all through school, National Honor Society, top of the class, etc. My oldest daughter tested into the gifted program for middle school. I fully believe that we should challenge our students to do their personal bests, but we need to have a healthy perspective.
I agree that it is the long term. I told my stepmom that we would just have to work with him to keep him from being bored by challenging him outside of school. I can't stop him from learning. I say something and he is sounding it out. Got in the car yesterday and handed him his gummy bears--he is going "guh guh guh Gummy bears starts with G". Sure I encourage it. Why not? My StepMom's argument was the boredom can start EARLY. She said what about gifted program's? I said I don't think they start til 2nd grade at the earliest. They only see grandmom 5-6 x a year for a few hours over a weekend visit.
This is just an example of situations that can come up that would make you consider changes in your lifestyle to the benefit of your kids. Bottom line we can't really afford private school. I think my stepmom's concerns are a bit overboard at this point. We don't know how he is going to do. It just got me thinking. Would I be willing to have a less nice house/not as nice neighborhood so I could provide XYZ for my kids???
The first bold: My mom tried arguing the same thing with our first one. Just try to ignore her until he is actually in school. Talk with his K. teacher when the time comes and ask about the first quarter of school, the planned schedule, and what he/she usually does with the children that come in ahead of the other students.
The second bold: I wouldn't move to a not-as-nice neighborhood. Having other children with good homes is the best thing you can do for your children. Their friends will continue to influence them.
I totally understand thinking about the move to Charlotte. Small towns do have a lot to offer...sometimes. I didn't quote that post, but it sounds like not just a move to a better school, but overall, childhood-long opportunities. If the job and lifestyle allows it, I would consider moving. However, I would could with the lower-end of your housing budget.
Not sure where this belongs it could fit into Parenting, Real Estate or Education
BUT I think it comes down to FAMILY so I will start with it here.
Had a convo with my mom yesterday (she is a high school English teacher to give you some background) about my 4yr old. We were talking about him spelling and the questions he asks. She has mentioned in the past about private school for him because she is concerned that he will be bored in public school and in her experience she has seen lots of smart kids drop out or have discipline problems. I told her we would just have to work with him extra at home because schedule/$ we can't make it work to send him.
Mentioned what Mom said to hubby last night and his comment was--we would have to have a cheaper house.
SO my question is this--as a parent--what would you be willing to do to ensure a better future for your kids? Would you sell your home and move into one that isn't as nice? (assuming the market would support you). If your child excelled at gymnastics or some other special sport/talent would you move to the best training center? What sacrifices do you make as a family to support your kids? OR will the kids turn out just fine if you stay put and do what you can.
Why sacrifice your house now for something that may or may not happen when he gets older?
Who knows if in high school he is going to be this bright student and good at school. He isn't even in kindergarten yet and you have no idea who good he is going to be in school.
Like someone would said, cross that bridge when it comes to it.
I was reading by age 3 (your baby can read wasnt even around then), I was reading things like people magazine etc.
I missed two months of kindergarten and still passed.
However, I hit middle school and my straight A's stopped, the classes were hard enough, some even too hard. I struggled with math a lot and ended up failing 6th grade the first go around. I hit high school and it was still the same. I usually failed math and had to redo it over the summer and I slacked off in my other classes, I got C's because it was passing and it kept me on the sports teams.
Get your son in a good school district for now and then go from there.
If he shows signs of needing more challenge then have him tested and put into advanced classes. If after the advanced classes he shows he still needs harder classes then put him in a harder school that will challenge him more.
My high school was a public school and the AP classes there were insane.
No one should ever have to do that much work. It was insane. I never took them but a few friends did and they had some of the hardest classes ever.
Gifted programs are usually based on the Stanford-Binet test that is supposed to be similar to the IQ test but less time consuming and less expensive. It is administered to students in groups, and it also has a standard deviation of 10-15 points. In other words, if it says your child has an IQ of 130, it could mean 115 or 145. Entire studies have been done about the inaccuracies of this particular test. However, even if kids don't test into gifted programs, they're still eligible for AP and honors classes in high school, and they can still earn scholarships (the only reason that I see to place so much emphasis on academic over-achieving).
In the early years, kids who are ahead at ages 3, 4, 5 will usually level out with their peers at around 3rd or 4th. Most schools don't even start "gifted" testing until then. Kids who aren't ahead in the early years may surpass their peers. Case in point, my daughter was not reading in kindergarten, and she struggled with it at the beginning of first grade. By the beginning of third grade, she was reading at a 6th grade level, and she broke the school's record for the highest score on the state reading exam. Another case in point. My niece was in a remedial reading program in third grade, and she tested into the gifted program in middle school.
By all means, nurture your bright four-year-old, but don't revolve your lives around the possibility that he is above and beyond his peers. And it doesn't *really* matter if he is or isn't.
In response to the OP's question, I believe most parents are willing to make certain sacrifices to ensure that their children have access to a good education, whether that means moving to a better school district or driving 15-year-old cars so they can afford private school tuition. Also, most parents of Olympic-quality athletes have spent countless hours transporting them to practice and a small fortune on coaching, transportation to competitions, etc.
That said, I don't believe that all gifted children need to attend a private school to thrive. It all depends on what's available at the local public schools. We live in a small town in rural New England and I've been blown away by the gifted programs available to my oldest daugher. Not only does she have a challenging curriculum that's tweaked somewhat for each student (they call it differential instruction) but the school district pays for a lot of expensive extras.
For example, this past spring her entire class attended a prestigious one-week environmental science sleep-away camp. The tuition was $1,000 for each child and the parents didn't have to pay a dime because the school picked up the tab. This summer she's attending a summer academy at her middle school where, in addition to academics, she's hiked one of the most challenging mountain trails in our state, spent a day rock and ice climbing, visited a wildlife conservation center and helped to organize a community-wide event celebrating local history. Again, the school district paid all of the activity fees; parents only had to pay a $25 tution fee and I'm sure parents who said they couldn't afford the tuition were given scholarships for their children.
If OP lives in a larger school district her child might have even greater opportunities. There's nothing wrong with giving a child a head start by teaching them at home or enrolling them in a private preschool, but why not give public education a shot, since you tax dollars are paying for it anyway?
Not sure where this belongs it could fit into Parenting, Real Estate or Education
BUT I think it comes down to FAMILY so I will start with it here.
Had a convo with my mom yesterday (she is a high school English teacher to give you some background) about my 4yr old. We were talking about him spelling and the questions he asks. She has mentioned in the past about private school for him because she is concerned that he will be bored in public school and in her experience she has seen lots of smart kids drop out or have discipline problems. I told her we would just have to work with him extra at home because schedule/$ we can't make it work to send him.
Mentioned what Mom said to hubby last night and his comment was--we would have to have a cheaper house.
SO my question is this--as a parent--what would you be willing to do to ensure a better future for your kids? Would you sell your home and move into one that isn't as nice? (assuming the market would support you). If your child excelled at gymnastics or some other special sport/talent would you move to the best training center? What sacrifices do you make as a family to support your kids? OR will the kids turn out just fine if you stay put and do what you can.
To go back and answer the questions you've asked. We will always make sure that our home is within a safe, highly-rated public school district. We don't really believe in private schools, and we wouldn't take 10k per year, per child out of the family budget to pay for it. My husband attended private schools, and because of his experiences, he's always stood pretty strongly against it for our children.
I'm not sure what I would do if my child excelled at a sport. But I guess a follow up question would be do the other kids have to sacrifice because the one child seems extraordinarily talented? I don't know if I would ask the whole family to sacrifice for the perceived talents of one family member.
My daughter is a talented actor, and we live in a small city. However, we are within two hours of a couple of major cities. My husband and I won't even take her out of town for auditions because she is ten. We don't want that high stress, hyper-competitive life for her, always chasing down the next role. So I guess my answer is that I wouldn't focus on one talent to the exclusion of everything else life has to offer. If there is a way to nurture the talent and maintain a healthy balance, I'm all for it.
Then the question becomes--do we get a 300K house or a 200K house so we can spend the $ on stuff for the kids? It may not be private school but maybe private violin lessons.
I would spend less. It's not like a $200K house is going to put you in a bad neighborhood. I would prefer having money in the bank for the unexpected, the emergencies and the extras. It's much more important to me then having the perfect house.
No, I wouldn't have moved or sacrificed that much. As it was we moved into the best school district we could afford and made sure our kids had the opportunity to try many different activities and whatnot. I have known people to do just what you asked because of an exceptionally bright child or one who had a particular talent but to me it was pointless since eventually the kids grew up and didn't become any kind of genius or in the Olympics or anything. They are spectacularly normal. Most parents who do that stuff do it to live out their fantasies, not because of the kids.
I read this quote this morning from mom who was touting her laid back parenting philosophy: "I think the world is a stimulating place, and I think kids learn from just hanging around in it."
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Just try to ignore her until he is actually in school. Talk with his K. teacher when the time comes and ask about the first quarter of school, the planned schedule, and what he/she usually does with the children that come in ahead of the other students. 
