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Sweet doesn't really cut it. I think you're making excuses for him - and that's your perogative - he doesn't sound very sweet to me, not really, not when it comes right down to it.
Or if he's truly sweet but lets his wife treat his kid this way he can still be written off because that's really not all that sweet of him. Maybe he's just one of those people who on the surface can be nice but it's all very surface niceness because deep down you can't count on the guy for anything, not even to insist you or your friend have decent sleeping arrangements when you make the effort to come visit him.
You should probably tell him "Dad you know where I am and how to get in contact with me if you ever want to meet for lunch or something" and then find other ways to spend your free time.
The garage has a bed in it.. and I think some shelves and the washer/dryer. We've slept in it before, but it was in the winter and the coldest we had had in a long time- we were freezing, but with blankets it was at least somewhat bearable. However, my friend was with me that time as well and got extremely sick and would have to walk to flights up to the loft when he felt nauseous. Eventually he fell asleep up there and my stepmom found him and actually yelled at me that he slept up there!
But really my dad is a sweet guy but he is totally manipulated by my stepmom. It doesn't help that she's a psychologist and therapist so she's trained to basically shape the way people think. He trusts her judgement 100% and it's very hard to even make him form his own opinion.
Wise up Sunshine. People can be influenced but they only DO what they want to do. You are seeing your father through a child's eyes. When you can see him a bit more objectively as another adult you will be able to view his behavior more objectively too. HE is allowing his wife to treat you like dirt. In turn, he is treating you like dirt by omission. If he don't want you to come he should just say so, not lay it on his wife to be the bad guy. OR if he does want you to but she doesn't...he is still allowing HER to treat you like dirt.
Okay we now know that step mom wears the pants and dad goes along with it . That is dangerous for you to sleep in a hot garage you could die of heat exhaustion or at the very least become very very sick . Tell your dad when he decides that the house is his home too then you will come visit . You are not a car and you will not sleep in the garage !! I would never put anyone or anything in a garage other than boxes or cars LOL !!! For a head shrinker this step mom is a witch with a b . I would tell her where she could stuff it . Honey you are better off without these people in your life . Write your father off he allows his wife to make like you dont exsist . Yeah I agree that is some crap tastic fathering .
So, I just called my dad. I told him we didn't want to sleep in the garage, and asked why we couldn't sleep in the living room- he said any noise would wake my stepmom up because she's a light sleeper. And we can't sleep in the loft because that's my stepmom's "private sanctuary".
He tried to pass off the garage as a "suite", and they would open the door to the house and try and force some cool air in. However, I know they'll just blame me for the electric bill as they did the last time we were there. He kept saying he didn't want to continue the argument with me.
I asked him if we could work something out, like have him drive down to have lunch with me. He told me he had to go to Tampa sometime this month and that maybe he would stop and see me on the way.
I think he's officially reached dead beat status. I'm at a loss... and very, very hurt.
I'm really sorry for you Brink.. BUT at least you NOW KNOW and can move on .. remember your not a stray puppy begging to be petted. Tell dad to have a nice life and call ya when the wickedwitch is dead .. untill them YOUR busy with YOUR life and making it good for you ..
Sunshine, my heart goes out to you. But considering the circumstances I think you are saving yourself a whole lot of grief by not going. Unfortunately, not everybody gets great parents. I hope there will be people in your life who will love you and treat you well.
Time to really place value on yourself as a person who deserves good things! Seek out people who will appreciate you. People who are beyond the mind games your stepmother is playing. She may have a certificate on her wall but that doesn't mean she has an ounce of common sense or decency. Spend the time you would have spent on your father with people who love you and WANT you to be a part of their lives.
Remember: It's them, not you, that's all screwed up here.
I agree with DewDropInn. It is not up to you to carry the relationship with your father. He needs to care about maintaining a relationship with you, too. I'm sure you are hurt. I know how you feel. When I was just about your age, I finally realized that my parents weren't go to ever be who I needed them to be. Here's what I tell my daughters. I tell them not to chase people. True, meaningful relationships are reciprocal.
It sounds like you have found a good person in your best friend. Stick with him, and take care of yourself.
HIPPA rules do not allow the records to be out in the 'open'. But your Stepmom should not have them just laying around anyway. After she is done with the records she should lock the file away in a fileing cab. I would say, when it 'bed' time you set yourself up on the Sofa. If they say anything about, I could sleep in the loft if you put the files away... as HIPPA requires.
Brink,
You seem to be doing all of this work to continue a relationship, when a relationship shouldn't be work at all. I think it's time to make him do the work, since it seems as it has to be "work" no matter what. I'm a parent of two. My boy should be going to college in 3 years. I wouldn't even contemplate putting him in a garage! I don't put my animals in a garage! And I live in FL and know how hot it can get! That is ridiculous, and please don't get mad, but I think it's ridiculous that you're not mad and saying h*ll no!
For a parent to let a step parent rule the family, and rule it unfairly, and not even consider the feelings of his child...is being no parent at all.
What I would do? I would write a note (have done so about other things), mail it to my father...send him an email as well, make it certified to only my father if I had to (in case you think step momma might not give it to him), and let him know my feelings, on every aspect. I would say that I refuse to come up until you're treated as family...in the house...with same food, not divided....with respect....and if he would like to see you, he can come down, or change some rules in the house. And that's that. Don't call. Don't apologize. Stop making excuses.
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