U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-06-2010, 01:34 PM
 
9,849 posts, read 10,280,447 times
Reputation: 8728
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
Regardless of the age, whenever we invite someone to our house we are prepared to offer refreshments. It's polite.
Thank you. When did being gracious go out of style?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,508 posts, read 5,119,390 times
Reputation: 3241
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Thank you. When did being gracious go out of style?
I think there are still a lot of gracious people out there.

There are also the extremists...the people who have to put on a big showy spread for every little occasion and those who try to make a point that such snack spreads aren't necessary. Their guests are given twigs to munch on so they don't realize they haven't been offered any real refreshments or they ask their guests to bring their own refreshments. LOL.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:32 PM
 
613 posts, read 441,641 times
Reputation: 694
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
I think there are still a lot of gracious people out there.

There are also the extremists...the people who have to put on a big showy spread for every little occasion and those who try to make a point that such snack spreads aren't necessary. Their guests are given twigs to munch on so they don't realize they haven't been offered any real refreshments or they ask their guests to bring their own refreshments.
WOW! There is a difference between a PLANNED pool date and the neighborhood kids coming over an impromptu swim 3 or 4 days a week! I supply the clean POOL, the pool toys, the swim aids, the goggles(though most of these are now either lost or broken), the supervision and my TIME. The LEAST a parent could do is send their kids over with a drink and small snack. Or better yet, send some over for everyone once in awhile to show you appreciate the pool owner for providing your kids with a clean safe place to cool off for a few hours!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Denver area
16,720 posts, read 11,203,369 times
Reputation: 18284
Or - if you stop acting like the community pool and snack bar, you will stop being treated as such. People are coming over, uninvited and you are allowing it and then complaining about it. Stop allowing it and it won't happen. You set the precedent by allowing all these drop ins....People should only be coming over when invited.

ETA - your thread title even specifies that people are "invited" - which is it? If you invite people over to your home, you are the host. If they are dropping by and expecting to be hosted, then that is an entirely different problem and you need to tell them that today is not an "open swim day", smile and shut the door. Do this a few times and people will get the hint.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:41 PM
 
Location: In Line For The E Ticket Ride
20,579 posts, read 10,986,220 times
Reputation: 22009
I needed an update on the snacks thing because my kids swam in the ocean or a community pool and there were no "invites". So I was thinking about my own childhood where one particular neighbor was nice enough to have us over to swim just about daily. As I said, no snacks. (We were all told we'd get a HORRIBLE case of the cramps if we ate and swam. Obviously a plot.) And if any of us needed "the facilities" we had to run back to our own homes. We also had to bring our own towels, face masks, swim fins, nose plugs, ear plugs, and Mae Wests.

Bonus points if you know what a Mae West is.

Later edit: Just the SWIM was the treat!!

Last edited by DewDropInn; 08-06-2010 at 03:53 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:51 PM
 
9,849 posts, read 10,280,447 times
Reputation: 8728
Quote:
Originally Posted by wsop View Post
WOW! There is a difference between a PLANNED pool date and the neighborhood kids coming over an impromptu swim 3 or 4 days a week! I supply the clean POOL, the pool toys, the swim aids, the goggles(though most of these are now either lost or broken), the supervision and my TIME. The LEAST a parent could do is send their kids over with a drink and small snack. Or better yet, send some over for everyone once in awhile to show you appreciate the pool owner for providing your kids with a clean safe place to cool off for a few hours!
I don't see any difference. When you have guests in your home you provide them with a drink and a snack.

I have kids in my house nearly every day of the week. I would have to clean the pool, supervise my kids in the pool, and give my kids snacks whether they had friends over or not. If they can't swim because I am to busy to supervise the pool, I just tell them that.

I just don't get why this is such a big deal. Maybe you should move to a house without a pool if it bothers you so much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:52 PM
 
9,849 posts, read 10,280,447 times
Reputation: 8728
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Or - if you stop acting like the community pool and snack bar, you will stop being treated as such. People are coming over, uninvited and you are allowing it and then complaining about it. Stop allowing it and it won't happen. You set the precedent by allowing all these drop ins....People should only be coming over when invited.

ETA - your thread title even specifies that people are "invited" - which is it? If you invite people over to your home, you are the host. If they are dropping by and expecting to be hosted, then that is an entirely different problem and you need to tell them that today is not an "open swim day", smile and shut the door. Do this a few times and people will get the hint.
Exactly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 02:57 PM
 
613 posts, read 441,641 times
Reputation: 694
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Or - if you stop acting like the community pool and snack bar, you will stop being treated as such. People are coming over, uninvited and you are allowing it and then complaining about it. Stop allowing it and it won't happen. You set the precedent by allowing all these drop ins....People should only be coming over when invited.
oh, I see. If you're nice enough to let your kids neighborhood friends come over to swim a few days a week, you should be expected to be taken advantage of AND berated for doing such a thing a horrible thing! Anyway, yet again I will state that the DOs and DONTs list is NOT my complaining, but information to teach others how NOT to take advantage of the person who provides a place for your children to cool off and have some fun.

It's amazing how many of you believe I should EXPECT to be taken advantage of. And as the title states, IF you want your children to be invited again. And yes, there are now some kids who aren't invited often because their PARENTS apparently see an opportunity to take advantage of someone, so they should grab that opportunity, right? Yet, their ARE other parents who DONT take advantage, even given the opportunity!

And if the shoe was on the other foot (and unfortunately this may soon be the case), you can bet your a$$ I would make certain neither my kids nor myself do anything to make someone feel taken advantage of!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 03:01 PM
 
613 posts, read 441,641 times
Reputation: 694
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Or - if you stop acting like the community pool and snack bar, you will stop being treated as such. People are coming over, uninvited and you are allowing it and then complaining about it. Stop allowing it and it won't happen. You set the precedent by allowing all these drop ins....People should only be coming over when invited.

ETA - your thread title even specifies that people are "invited" - which is it? If you invite people over to your home, you are the host. If they are dropping by and expecting to be hosted, then that is an entirely different problem and you need to tell them that today is not an "open swim day", smile and shut the door. Do this a few times and people will get the hint.
It's mostly an unplanned invite, IOW, my kids will be outside playing with some friends down the street and run home and ask if johnny, sue and Mary can come swimming. Usually I say yes, sometimes I say no
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-06-2010, 03:07 PM
 
9,849 posts, read 10,280,447 times
Reputation: 8728
Quote:
Originally Posted by wsop View Post
oh, I see. If you're nice enough to let your kids neighborhood friends come over to swim a few days a week, you should be expected to be taken advantage of AND berated for doing such a thing a horrible thing! Anyway, yet again I will state that the DOs and DONTs list is NOT my complaining, but information to teach others how NOT to take advantage of the person who provides a place for your children to cool off and have some fun.
How is anyone taking advantage of you? If you don't want the kids to swim don't let them swim. If you invite them to swim then YOU ARE INVITING THEM. They are not taking advantage of you and should be treated like any other guest in your home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:09 PM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top