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We see studies all the time about families with 3 kids and the personality traits they have. Well what about families with only 2 kids or 4 kids etc...?
DH and I both come from 2 child families and only have 2 kids ourselves.
We are both 1st borns and are much more motivated/driven than our siblings. DH was an only child til he was 10.
My 1st born is headstrong, highly inquisitive, bossy and very sensitive-definitely the more serious one of the 2.
The 2nd one is hysterically funny, sassy, also very inquisitive and demanding.
We don't have the middle child to intermediate between the 2!
Do your kids in general really follow those "traits" from the studies or is it all too random??
There are 5 of us, and I am second. For my first 7 years, I was middle and it was the first three of us that determined our places in our family. The last two came later, so it was three older, two younger.
I would say we pretty much fall into the mold.
Both our girls are like onlies because there are 17 years between them.
My brothers and I seem to follow that mold and so do our children. Our oldest DS is responsible, compliant and serious. Our younger DS behaves very much like a youngest, great sense of humor, very compassionate and just fun loving. Our youngest, a DD, is 9 years younger than our younger son, so she has a lot of the same traits as our oldest.
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My husband and I are both middle children. Both of us were ignored growing up. Some may say this is the classic middle child whine but it really is the truth. I am a middle child of 3 and hubby is a middle child of 5. Both of us have similar experiences with being pushed aside and ignored. Even as adults we are the last to know anything in our families. Sometimes it feels like being a ghost. I have several friends that have 3 children and they admit they tend to ignore their middle ones. It seems bizarre to me why it happens. I guess the first born represents all the first's. The last child represents the very last child to be born into the family. The last one usually ends up spoiled and the parents are baffled why the kid is a brat. So the first and last have their respected spots.
When my husband and I started our family we decided on one child because from our experience it did not seem to be a huge benefit to have siblings. I think if people want more than one child, two children are best. But that is just my opinion.
I'm the youngest of two -- but I have as much internal motivation/desire for high achievement as my older brother. In fact, all thoughout school/college I was definitely the higher achieving.
I was by no means spoiled (my parents were not spoilers) - however I did have an easier time with certain things (staying out a little later, driving the car more) - as it is true that parents are desensitized to these things more as the younger children come along.
I think I also got more priveleges because my high achievement demonstrated that I deserved it and could handle the responsibilities.
While there's no question birth order comes into play, its a broad generalization and the dynamics of the parents in any particular family may differ significantly from the stereotype.
As one of my psychology profs said in college, "birth order only matters if you let it". Quite honestly, I know more "exceptions" the the birth order "rule" then those that actually follow the pattern. I would say that second children often are opposite of first children.
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Originally Posted by alise007
We see studies all the time about families with 3 kids and the personality traits they have. Well what about families with only 2 kids or 4 kids etc...?
DH and I both come from 2 child families and only have 2 kids ourselves.
We are both 1st borns and are much more motivated/driven than our siblings. DH was an only child til he was 10.
My 1st born is headstrong, highly inquisitive, bossy and very sensitive-definitely the more serious one of the 2.
The 2nd one is hysterically funny, sassy, also very inquisitive and demanding.
We don't have the middle child to intermediate between the 2!
Do your kids in general really follow those "traits" from the studies or is it all too random??
The closest thing that I have seen to science about two child families is that having a boy and a girl is very similar to having two "first children" and that two of the same gender, particularly if they are close in age, will yield two adults who have very different skill-sets and personalities.
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