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Old 08-20-2010, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,432 posts, read 3,270,317 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
A wise woman once told me

"With one you can go around the world. With two you can't get out the front door."

So true....................

With 3 you can't find the front door.
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Old 08-20-2010, 08:33 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by socstudent View Post
Interesting. Really what I'm seeing from this video, besides humor, is that parents with only one child (or the appropriate number that they can actually handle) have the time and the resources to actually parent. Not just spending their time trying to control and keep their children from destroying things and killing each other but actually cultivating their minds and nurturing them into people that will one day think critically of the world and learn that they have a voice. It may sound stupid but his parody of what it sounds like in a one-child car actually sounds a LOT like what my childhood was, as an only child. My parents included me in all the decisions they made, made me feel like I was important and my input was valuable. They didn't have to spend their time just doing the bare minimum to make sure I was alive and healthy, they could help me grow in other ways. Obviously the more resources and patience you have to go around to each child the better, and I guess with more than one it gets difficult for most people.
Most big families I know have very well behaved children who are self driven to succeed.

My friend raised seven children. They were not just doing the bare minimum. Their children were not killing each other. Every child was intellectually stimulated, they all pursued their own interests, they all participated in different sports and clubs, and every single one of them got fantastic grades.

They are all adults now---each one gradulated college wtih honors and all have fantastic jobs. The youngest is a doctor. Yep, with all those children, they managed to put every single one of them through school and still had resources to send the last one to medical school too.

Their father was an only child and he wished for a large family his hole life. Being an only child was a lonely experience for him.

I know there are larger families that can't control their children and have limited time for their children. My neighbors are that way. Their children are wild. The parents just ignore whatever they are doing. Parents of any amount of children (one, two, three or ten), can produce the same positive or negative results---all depending on their parenting. But most parents with larger families have well behaved children.

From knowing various big families (and coming from one based on today's standards of big), the KEY is discipline. I don't mean spanking. I mean parents who have clear rules and follow through consistently. Children thrive when there are clear expectations and consequences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by socstudent View Post
Of course I would have loved to have a brother or sister to play with and most of the time I was lonely, but there were advantages to being an only child as well that I am just now realizing as I become an adult. The opportunities I had because I always had my parents' full attention and support really did help.....I think parents should just have as many children as they have resources to fully support, otherwise you have people growing up feeling neglected and not being able to form healthy attachments.
You can have more than ONE and give them everything they need---fully attention, full support, etc.---especially if they are spaced out in age. I came from a larger family (large for today's standards, small to normal size for 40 years ago.) My younger sister was 6 years younger than me. My next older sister was 5 years older than me. My mother had lots of time to spend with us individually. When we were each born, the youngest child was always heading off to start school. We each had our mother's undivided attention from birth until heading off to elementary school. And my oldest siblings were away at college when I was in 5th and 7th grade. As a result, my house wasn't filled with all the children at once. I was my mother's side kick----went everywhere with her. And my parents always had time to have intellectual discussions and supported our various interests. I have found memories of quality time with my parents and my siblings.

I don't have a big family. But SOMETIMES I wish I did. I think having a larger family would have made parenting easier for me. It would have forced me to be less lenient. Little problems each child had wouldn't have seemed like the end of the world. I suspect that having lots of children helps parents put things into a healthy perspective.
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Old 08-20-2010, 08:42 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,728,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalan View Post
That's exactly how I would describe parents of one child Hobby parents. The more kids you have the more your patience decreases. Parents with one child do not realize how easy they have it.

Actually, maybe us one child evil hobby parents do realize exactly how easy we have it - which is obviously the very reason we chose to populate the planet with spoiled self centered only children, whom we hope will terrorize the rest of you with their only-ness and rub their contented, patient upbringing into your exasperated, overburdened multi-child visages.

Bwwaaahhaahhaa.
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Old 08-20-2010, 08:42 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
When my son came home from the trip he told me "D's mother needs to have another child so she has something to do."
Quote:
Originally Posted by msm_teacher View Post
That's funny! My oldest has also talked about several classmates whose parents need a bit more to do. When your hovering is so bad it is noticed by a teenager, you really need to back off.
It's even funnier when the children themselves say it about their own mothers! My son's friend is always saying that his mother needs a hobby!
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Old 08-20-2010, 08:48 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Actually, maybe us one child evil hobby parents do realize exactly how easy we have it - which is obviously the very reason we chose to populate the planet with spoiled self centered only children, whom we hope will terrorize the rest of you with their only-ness and rub their contented, patient upbringing into your exasperated, overburdened multi-child visages.

Bwwaaahhaahhaa.
Just relish the jealousy! I've had quite a few parents with large families resent that I only had two children. They outright told me that my little family makes it difficult for them to parent! Since we only had two, we could afford to pay for activies and sports, etc. They were always having to tell their kids NO because they couldn't afford for their children to do more than one sport or activity per year. Instead of accepting that having a large family was a choice they made, they turned their frustration into resenting the parents of their children's friends who came from smaller families.
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Old 08-20-2010, 09:17 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,938,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by socstudent View Post
Interesting. Really what I'm seeing from this video, besides humor, is that parents with only one child (or the appropriate number that they can actually handle) have the time and the resources to actually parent. Not just spending their time trying to control and keep their children from destroying things and killing each other but actually cultivating their minds and nurturing them into people that will one day think critically of the world and learn that they have a voice. I think parents should just have as many children as they have resources to fully support, otherwise you have people growing up feeling neglected and not being able to form healthy attachments.
You missed the whole essense of his humor. Unless you grow up in, or have a number of kids, you can't see how funny that video really was.

Kids who grow up with a number of siblings form healthy attachments and relationships, but with the modern parenting, it's more difficult to be a happy parent with many children.

Most families had 4-8 kids when I was growing up. When that guy said, "We counted cows. AND WE WERE HAPPY.", I thought oh my, we did the same thing!! I remember road trips with 5 kids in the car. There were no seatbelts and we fought for a window. No one wanted to sit in the middle. There were no minivans; we were packed in to the Buick's back seat with the youngest of us in the front on my mother's lap.

There were no video games or other entertainment, we looked out the window and COUNTED COWS.

We didn't grow up to be sissies or have to have our hands held into adulthood. It was great to grow up with a lot of kids, whether we all got along or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Actually, maybe us one child evil hobby parents do realize exactly how easy we have it - which is obviously the very reason we chose to populate the planet with spoiled self centered only children, whom we hope will terrorize the rest of you with their only-ness and rub their contented, patient upbringing into your exasperated, overburdened multi-child visages.

Bwwaaahhaahhaa.
That's funny.

Because of circumstances, I had one at a time with years in between. I wish I could have had them close together.
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 5,841,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Most families had 4-8 kids when I was growing up. When that guy said, "We counted cows. AND WE WERE HAPPY.", I thought oh my, we did the same thing!! I remember road trips with 5 kids in the car. There were no seatbelts and we fought for a window. No one wanted to sit in the middle.
We fought for the window too. We also sat on our knees looking at the back and stuck or tongues out to whoever was behind us. To this day I wonder how nobody ever stopped my father and told him what horrible children we were. I guess they probably felt sorry for him, 4 kids so close in age.
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:34 AM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,322,376 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
We fought for the window too. We also sat on our knees looking at the back and stuck or tongues out to whoever was behind us. To this day I wonder how nobody ever stopped my father and told him what horrible children we were. I guess they probably felt sorry for him, 4 kids so close in age.
My mother tells similar stories of her child hood. Except they where only 3 kids...and my large aunt all in the back of their station wagon driving from Cleveland to Virginia Beach. Apparently my Aunt would sleep and sit perfectly still and the kids would play around her in the back.
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:39 AM
 
207 posts, read 828,728 times
Reputation: 339
Believe me, I envy anyone who grew up with brothers or sisters. Being an only child was mostly a horrible and lonely experience for me that I would never wish on anyone else. I plan on having a large family because it's something I never had. It's pretty sobering to realize that once my parents die I will be completely alone in the world. I never felt like we had an actual "family," it was just me and my parents living together. No "family" time was there because it was just the three of us and it would have been awkward. In the end I feel like there are a lot more drawbacks to being an only child than there are positives, but I guess this video made me think of one of the positives.

And no I didn't have my hand held into adulthood, quite the opposite actually. I was given the resources and the opportunity and expected to do everything myself. My parents always wanted me to be very independent, almost to a fault.
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Old 08-20-2010, 12:23 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,938,868 times
Reputation: 2164
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie02 View Post
We fought for the window too. We also sat on our knees looking at the back and stuck or tongues out to whoever was behind us. To this day I wonder how nobody ever stopped my father and told him what horrible children we were. I guess they probably felt sorry for him, 4 kids so close in age.
When I was about 13, we had a Plymouth station wagon with a third seat that lifted up and faced backwards. My sister and I would sit back there and wave at truckers and other people behind us. We'd write in big block letters that we were being kidnapped and stuck it in the window. People would wave and toot their horns at us.

People just didn't get hysterical back then. If you stuck your tongue out at people behind you now, the driver would get a sudden case of road rage and run your dad off the highway. Then you'd get a lecture on how awful you are. Back then, nobody cared.

We travelled to Wisconsin to my dad's parents' where he grew up, in the summer for a week. It was a 10 hour trip with 5 kids. When we were really young, my dad used to put a coffee can in the back on the floor for us to use as a toilet so he wouldn't have to stop more than once. Can you imagine? Ten hours in a car with 5 little kids and he wouldn't stop except for gas. The only entertainment we had were other motorists. And cows.
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