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Old 08-21-2010, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
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I don't care how many kids a family decides to have as long as they can take care of them by themselves and don't ask tax payers to shoulder the burden.

BTW you can't immediately start critizing a large family. We say we have 7 kids but it breaks down this way. Three from DH's "starter marriage", 1 bio of our own and 3 adopted. An old highschool friends saw my FB page and wrote "See you've been populating the world"

I wrote back "Ever hear of step children or adoption?" Haven't heard a word from him since.

Unfortunately it is the uneducated poorer people who reproduce irresponsibly while the more responsible ones don't have kids at all or fewer. We have many institutions to blame for this. Can you guess which one is the biggest offender?
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Old 08-21-2010, 12:14 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,243,559 times
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Funny, LIGHTHEARTED video clip.

If you can provide for your spouse/children emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, and physically, it's no one's business how many or not a family decides on.

We have 3. It's a daily grind. Wouldn't change it for a thing in the world. That's us & how WE are happy as a family.
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Old 08-21-2010, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,141 posts, read 22,118,386 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
Funny, LIGHTHEARTED video clip.

If you can provide for your spouse/children emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, and physically, it's no one's business how many or not a family decides on.

We have 3. It's a daily grind. Wouldn't change it for a thing in the world. That's us & how WE are happy as a family.
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Old 08-21-2010, 12:43 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,938,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I'm teaching my kids the cow/cemetary game now. They love it but it only works on non interstate drives. Around town we count bibycle riders but if you see one without a helmet you lose your number and have to start over.
The license plate game is fun as well. We heard about that one when we were young. While in the car, write down each different plate you see from different states. At the end, who wins is who has the most states.

We also each would pick a different color car and count only those cars of our color. Whoever had the most at a certain point (like 15 or 20 miles, or 15 or 20 minutes) won.

With no hand held video games back then, we had to be inventive.
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Old 08-21-2010, 06:18 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,243,559 times
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Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
The license plate game is fun as well. We heard about that one when we were young. While in the car, write down each different plate you see from different states. At the end, who wins is who has the most states.

We also each would pick a different color car and count only those cars of our color. Whoever had the most at a certain point (like 15 or 20 miles, or 15 or 20 minutes) won.

With no hand held video games back then, we had to be inventive.
We did that to...doesn't mean it made the trip for the parents any easier.

I remember my dad placing his hand on the back of my moms headrest when my brothers & I would start to fight in the car. My folks dropped us of several streets away from our hotel when we were on vacation back in the late 80s (no cell phones) b/c we were again, fighting so much.

Thus, not much has changed in how siblings get along on long car trips.

DSs & handheld DVD players are not a necessity, but they sure are nice for all involved on long trips. We've utilized them & it's monitored. Our kids still mention certain things along the way.

It's in the parenting. The license plate game can still be played (my dh & I play it!) & DSs & DVD players can still be viewed/played. It makes the trip a whole lot nicer.

After awhile, ANY child is going to start to get antsy on a car trip be it 1975 or 2010. And if more than one is involved, of course there is going to be bickering. Some trips it's just more pronounced than others.
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Old 08-22-2010, 08:03 AM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,946,451 times
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Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
This has only been in more recent times. It starts when the kids are small, mom wants each to be their own little wonder, individual and special by him/herself. They each have their own sports and individual accomplishments because each one is JUST SO SPECIAL.

Kids aren't raised as a unit anymore. They are raised to be seperate and each has his/her own pedestal to sit on. They aren't taught anything about community property within the family. They aren't taught to take care of each other.

Parents are raising a bunch of individuals instead of a unit, but it isn't individuals as far as responsibility goes. Kids grow up thinking they are so very special, but they don't grow up with any sense of responsibility and accountability.
100% agree, as in 99% of the times with your posts.
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Old 08-22-2010, 08:15 AM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,946,451 times
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Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I don't care how many kids a family decides to have as long as they can take care of them by themselves and don't ask tax payers to shoulder the burden.
That myopic view again. People will shoulder their burden REGARDLESS.
All of us, including themselves, will.
Directly or indirectly. The masses are not helped when competition for an already very small piece of the pie gets even fiercer with every passing year.

How ridiculous and irresponsible for our contemporaries to think that the right to reproduce indefinitely is only related to whether the family will use welfare or not.

Talking about family size today is a completely different game as compared to doing the same thing only one century ago (just one long human life span).

I said it before and I'll say it however many more times in takes:

Today people compete with 3 times more individuals than it was the case only one century ago, to maintain a relatively modern lifestyle requiring MANY MORE times higher consumption per capita than it was the case back then. Think about this part when your honors, precious, gifted child will apply for 100 jobs only to be told that employers received 1000 resumes, all stellar, and what he/she has to offer is just not good enough.

If one think this has no ethical implications and nothing to do with anything, one is an idiot who would ideally walk this Earth in an infertile state.

Last edited by syracusa; 08-22-2010 at 08:26 AM..
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Old 08-22-2010, 08:16 AM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,720,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Kids aren't raised as a unit anymore. They are raised to be seperate and each has his/her own pedestal to sit on. They aren't taught anything about community property within the family. They aren't taught to take care of each other.
Of course kids are raised as individuals. In the US kids grow up to be adults who need to be responsible for themselves NOT responsible for their family unit. Kids can be taught to take care of each other AND to function as individuals.

My oldest likes football, my middle like music, my youngest likes lacrosse. Why SHOULDN'T they each be permitted to explore their own individual interests? The brothers go to each other's games/performances. The older ones teach the younger ones the ways of the school. But when they get out of school they will NOT function as a unit. They will each have to find their own way in the world.
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Old 08-22-2010, 08:20 AM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,946,451 times
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Originally Posted by 121804 View Post
That's us & how WE are happy as a family.
Ans because this is all about YOU and how YOU are happy as a family, everyone else should not dare to critique any ramifications of your choices at the structural level, right?

You are wrong to think this is nobody else's business. There is certainly no law in place overtly prohibiting large families so families can reproduce at will right now; but make no mistake about it - others CAN critique such choices and there is no law against that either.

Eventually, with all the critique and eye opening discussions, perhaps people will learn to be happy with wiser numbers of children.
Besides, the economy will slowly teach us all that birth control is a wonderful idea.
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Old 08-22-2010, 08:33 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,938,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Of course kids are raised as individuals. In the US kids grow up to be adults who need to be responsible for themselves NOT responsible for their family unit. Kids can be taught to take care of each other AND to function as individuals.

My oldest likes football, my middle like music, my youngest likes lacrosse. Why SHOULDN'T they each be permitted to explore their own individual interests? The brothers go to each other's games/performances. The older ones teach the younger ones the ways of the school. But when they get out of school they will NOT function as a unit. They will each have to find their own way in the world.
Wrong.

In the US, kids are growing up to be adults with the knowledge that they can live at home with mom and dad indefinately because they just can't make it on their own at 18 or 20 or 24 years old anymore.

The family unit is necessary to nurture and keep whole no matter if they grow up as individuals or not, and that's not happening. Each child grows up selfish and self centered. Each child grows up thinking he/she is the most important and what they want is what matters most.
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