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Old 08-17-2007, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
193 posts, read 909,073 times
Reputation: 208

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.

I worry she'll have low self esteem as a teen like I did, that she will have sexual problems like I did, or that she might get pregnant on accident like I did (years ago) and that she's have to endure so many crappy things that girls do when growing into women.

I was not like this with my boy.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy and ecited like the rest of my family is. My husband is disappointed in me that I'm not hopping up and down happy.
I have 3 brothers and I am the only girl grandaughter out of 9 grandchildren on my fathers side. I got married and you guessed it, I have 3 sons and no daughters and I can't have any more children. Be happy, there is a special bond that a mom and daughter can have. I am so close to my mother, she is my best friend, I don't know what I would do without her.
You don't have to be a girly girl to enjoy having a daughter. Alot of girls like sports and other "boy" activities. So don't think you are going to have to be knee deep in pony tails and dolls. Although I was. I admit I am a girly girl and that is saying something coming from a family of literaly "all" boys.

good luck, I am jealous!!!!
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:56 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,143 times
Reputation: 10
Default I don't know what to say...

Except that I am totally disgusted with the women who quote these little chestnuts like, "boys are yours till they take a wife..." its rude, obnoxious and completely unture. Children all have different personalities. I know girls who have no or little contact w/ their mothers and at the same time I know men who still have lunch/coffee w/ their mothers. My dh is extremely supportive and concerned for his mothers well being. He keeps asking me to please go up to her place for tea with him. My bil will not leave home. He is 19 y/o and goes to concerts, dinner, ect... w my mil. They hang out like they were freinds. Yes, he has his own freinds as well. so he's not weird or somthing. I was a tough child and have a very strained relationship with my mother. It isn't the hallmark dream you all have pictured it to be.

BTW My family has both boy/girls. Boys are a blessing!

Children are a blessing whatever they are. They are people with hearts, brains, and feelings.

Children are not mini mes they are children. You are not giving birth to a doll, or dress up manniquin! You are having a baby that will grow up and have their own personality. Women who keep saying they only wanted girls are doing it for vanity.

TO THE OP: Gender does not matter. Your blood is your blood. You will love the baby more then anything in the world. Its how you raise them. Boys and girls can be troublesome or they can be a blessing.
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Old 01-07-2008, 01:01 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,143 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Picassine View Post
My first was a girl.. I wanted a girl sooo bad...

She was a sweetheart, when I got pregnant with my 2nd child, I wanted a girl again... but had a son.

I would take 12 girls like my daughter any day... my son was something else... I never wanted any more kids after him.

My daughter is smart, independant, with a strong self esteem... my son is all the opposite.
You should have NEVER had kids. Your poor son probably feels like a reject or somthing. You don't deserve him. Maybe he acts the way he does because he feels unloved and unimportant to his mother.
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Old 01-07-2008, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
3,589 posts, read 2,976,713 times
Reputation: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.

I worry she'll have low self esteem as a teen like I did, that she will have sexual problems like I did, or that she might get pregnant on accident like I did (years ago) and that she's have to endure so many crappy things that girls do when growing into women.

I was not like this with my boy.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy and ecited like the rest of my family is. My husband is disappointed in me that I'm not hopping up and down happy.
Some of us would be hopping up and down just to be having a baby, period. Yeah, I don't get it either.
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Old 01-08-2008, 07:08 AM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,034,537 times
Reputation: 2249
Congratulations! Count yourself lucky to be pregnant and hope that your pregnancy is healthy. I just received word yesterday that my close friend miscarried and in the last 3 yrs, I have had countless friends who are unable to even have one child at all. I guess it's only human nature that we seem to think that "the grass is always greener" on the other side.

I really hope that you will be able to deal with your feelings before your daughter arrives. As a PP mentioned, it sounds like you are putting the cart before the horse & projecting your previous experiences already on your unborn child. If you haven't been able to yet deal with those bad experiences, perhaps it might be a good time to deal with them now.

Every child - no matter boy or girl - is a blessing. Plus, YOU have the power to give your daughter the best possible childhood and help her to grow into a confident, well-rounded adult.
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Old 01-09-2008, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX & AL Gulf Coast
6,848 posts, read 9,822,135 times
Reputation: 33334
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
I'm a little in shock. I have a boy and I love him to bits and I was immediately happy when I knew he was a boy. I don't know how I feel about a girl.

I worry she'll have low self esteem as a teen like I did, that she will have sexual problems like I did, or that she might get pregnant on accident like I did (years ago) and that she's have to endure so many crappy things that girls do when growing into women.

I was not like this with my boy.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy and ecited like the rest of my family is. My husband is disappointed in me that I'm not hopping up and down happy.
I cannot think of anything more precious than having a child... boy or girl... 'tis truely a blessing! And having a "girl" child to raise would seem to be the easiest of all for you...afterall, you are a girl, you've been there! With that said... she is NOT you, nor will she ever be! Having children myself, I can tell you that even in the same family, regardless of sex, each one comes into this world uniquely "their own", with their own personality set firmly in place from day one... with their own set of mental and physical assets/liabilities, feelings, needs, wants, quirks, etc. Your job as the parent is to provide the best nurturing environment you possibly can to allow this "flower" to bloom.

I also agree with the above poster... the worst harm you could do to this child is to project your previous "inferior complex" on her! While I can empathize with you, I truly cannot relate to it, as it is not something I, as a woman, or as a female child, was ever subjected to feel or experience, but obviously, somewhere in your upbringing, you were, and I am so, so sorry you were ever made to feel this way. And, just to assure you, while some women may grow up feeling inferior, this is not the norm nor should it ever be accepted as the norm! It's more a product of the environment one may be brought up in... and that is what YOU have control over for your daughter... to insure that she is never exposed to this kind of environment or thinking.

One more thought... it seems this pregnancy with a girl child has triggered memories of the fears and inadequacy you felt as a child. It would really be good for you to consult a counselor to get to the root of these feelings... and rid yourself of them once and for all... so that you can responsibly bring up your daughter in the healthiest of environments... with YOU as her biggest ally!

Good luck to you and yours!
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Old 01-09-2008, 01:25 PM
 
12 posts, read 45,999 times
Reputation: 32
I was exactly like you. I had a son first and I was glad, girls are icky. I was a tough girl with low self esteem. I had my daughter and so far it has worked out. She is 15 and wonderful. I mean not perfect but not like me at all, she is like her dad, which is good. I think you should just go with it. Don't dwell on what you did wrong, just try to teach her well and make sure she has a lot of respect for herself. My daughter still says she isn't having sex until she is married, I hope for that, but I don't think she will stay that way. We have open communication and we watch her closely, but we also trust her. You will be okay once you see her you will fall in love with her. Good luck, my youngest is 15 and I wish I was having another. Can't though. Have fun and enjoy!
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