Bashing your own child on facebook (stepdad, weight, toddler, single parent)

[MSPLove]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

So fight number #234632784623472364726472386437284 happened tonight.

My mom said we were going home to eat dinner, she had just finished cooking and was picking me up from work.

In the car I asked what was for dinner, she said fish, and inquiring about what else was going to be on the plate, I said And?
I got no response as she started talking to my brother, I was in the backseat and just sat there and stared up front for a few minutes and then repeated myself and said And? again.

So that whole conversation if you can even call it one ended in her calling me a "crazy b|tch" and "narcissistic", which resulted in me slamming the car door as I got out, which resulted in my brother smashing a water bottle so hard again the brick section of our house that it exploded then decided to stare me down with his fist balled up.

I went up stairs, where I am now and got on my laptop to check my stuff and transfer money between my accounts.

My mom gets on facebook and starts posting stuff, ALL directed at me.

I have a few post of my own NOT IN ANY WAY AT HER.
I posted:

"I'm bored who wants to go out tonight?!?!"
"I am exhausted, little sleep, worked 7 hours and now I just want to kick back and relax"

So she post...

"Anyone want to go out and act retarded with me ANYONE Text me....Oh baby"

Really?
Can she have some maturity or what?
****** ****** Happiness is what we make it. Make an existance from drama and you get a Broadway showhouse. Live your life around humans who refuse to act intellegent and you live a life of Special needs institution. Surround yourself with people who have like needs, wants and ideals...you will Happy as hell. Its your choice.



****** ****** Let me facebook first. There are a couple people older than 19 in my life who are the most clueless human beings alive. I feel for you but I do not pity you, for to pity you would mean I would still have to keep kissing your asses. Which those days are over.


Those are the other two she posted.

I find her posting stuff on facebook like THAT to be rude, demeaning and downright immature.

Yeah, if you're of age, move out if you can.
And if you're not? Start planning, so you can do it ASAP when you ARE 18.

Anyhoo....

Your mom is acting like a Tard.
No excuse for a parent to ever act like that. That's not even passive-aggressive. That's just.... lol.
She's basically saying you're a "special needs person" who is making her unhappy....
wow.

If she had a problem with you she needs to say it to your face, not just ignore you when you talk to her and post shady crap on FB. Lame as hell.

In the mean time, kill her with kindness. You catch more flies with honey. That way you can use her to help you move, maybe... Be sure to treat her to dinner after... then smirk all the way to your new home.

Nobody is responsible for anyone's feelings. That karma is going to come back to her for acting like that, no matter what you may have did. Take the high road and don't let her egg you into a response. Delete her ass from your FB, or if you want to keep drama down to a minimum (because she sounds like quite a drama queen herself), just hide her from your feed and don't respond.

[MSPLove]

Originally Posted by AnonChick

I'm sensing a case of apple vs. tree, combined with a short fall, here.

LOL! Yeah, I'm not saying this OP is the most mature person in the world. I don't know what is going on with the kid. But her mother's behavior sort of indicates a lot about what kind of example has been modeled for years...

I find it rather laughable that a few of the posts here were spent overanalyzing what tone of voice the daughter might have said the word "And?" in.

Even if she did say it like a total snot, how in the heck does that justify any of her moms actions?
Or her brothers, for that matter?

The whole family has got problems. Yeah, maybe the kid needs to learn some etiquette in how to talk to her mom, but that doesn't sound like a scenario in which a kid deserves to be verbally abused. There's a great deal more here going on than meets the eye, and it's probably been going on for years.

It's laughable how anyone would sit and try to turn it all around on the kid.

[MSPLove]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

WHAT underlying remarks did I make?
Where in the hell does that come from???

.................

That bolded statement was uncalled for and rude and it was an assumption.

Txtqueen..... let me tell you something.
I would weigh anything "Beachmel" has to say very carefully.
I'm a 30 year old woman who is having mother issues. She did pretty much the same exact thing to me.
I posted about my probs a couple months ago. Beachmel gives out some good advice. So don't write her off completely.

But she DOES have an ongoing theme of siding with the parent, in these mother/child scenarios, no matter what.

She always had kind of "gotcha" tone whenever she would respond to one of my posts, as if it was the ending of a Scooby Doo episode and she had just exposed to the world "who I really was".... when in fact, she "misunderstood" much of what I said! lol
I think I was called an "immature little brat" at some point by her, too.
(I'm a 30-year-old woman, I think I deserve a tad more respect than that.)

You'll go in circles with her.
And much of it will be you having to re-explain yourself over stuff she "misunderstood" (twisted around).

Interestingly, she had virtually nothing to say about my stepfather's years of verbal/emotional abuse...

BTW, am I letting YOU off the hook?
No way. But I definitely don't subscribe to the idea that the parent is always right. Just based on how you describe your whole family dynamic - your mom's calling you a "B" word, your brother's violence.... it's obvious some stuff has been going down for years.
And I'm sure there is plenty you've done that's completely obnoxious, far beyond asking what's for dinner in a slightly inpolite way..

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

Money for one. I have a job but I don't make near enough to move out.
I only make about $400 a month, that isn't enough at all. That would cover rent and the utilities that are included in there. That covers nothing else. It won't be until I make over $1,000 a month that I would even dream about moving out.

But you announced just last week that you were moving out very soon.

Originally Posted by txtqueen

That's cute....Do you know how many department's I've rode with...A LOT.
6 hours average on shift....PUHLEASE...
There have been some nights where we didn't even get out of the car unless it was to do a traffic stop or go into 711 to get food or to pee, which the average traffic stop should take about 8 minutes total.

Unless you are on a call, traffic stop or lunch, you hardly ever get out of your car for anything.
The longest call I have ever been on was maybe 4 hours and even then there was a lot of back and forth between the car and the call.

First call was a GTA by 3 16 year olds. It was November and had to be below zero, after all the kids were in the back of the cars, the majority of the time we were sitting in the car.
Second call was a motorcycle vs deer, fatal for both. After reconstructing the scene we went back and forth between sitting in the car.


6 hours no way.
2 1/2 -3 hours for a regular patrol cop and even that is broken up over a 10 hour shift.

Not where I live! LOL The police are the ones who stand on the street corners and run the traffic lights during rush hour, which isn't really an hour but a solid 4 hours. When there are detours due to construction, they stand in the middle of intersections directing traffic for their entire shifts. Trust me, road construction goes on for months, some road construction projects lasts a few years! That's all those officers do, every hour of their shift, every day of the week, for months or years. I guarantee you that they give these boring duties to the new cops too. You're in for a surprise.

Originally Posted by Minnesconsinite

It's laughable how anyone would sit and try to turn it all around on the kid.

txtqueen isn't a kid anymore. She's an adult. The mother definitely has issues. The whole family has issues. But it seems the OP has overstayed her welcome in her mother's home. She's well past the age to be out on her own. Her mother wants her out of the house. If she were more appreciative and not so self absorbed, her mother might feel differently about her staying there.

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by Minnesconsinite

Txtqueen..... let me tell you something.
I would weigh anything "Beachmel" has to say very carefully.
I'm a 30 year old woman who is having mother issues. She did pretty much the same exact thing to me.
I posted about my probs a couple months ago. Beachmel gives out some good advice. So don't write her off completely.

But she DOES have an ongoing theme of siding with the parent, in these mother/child scenarios, no matter what.

She always had kind of "gotcha" tone whenever she would respond to one of my posts, as if it was the ending of a Scooby Doo episode and she had just exposed to the world "who I really was".... when in fact, she "misunderstood" much of what I said! lol
I think I was called an "immature little brat" at some point by her, too.
(I'm a 30-year-old woman, I think I deserve a tad more respect than that.)

You'll go in circles with her.
And much of it will be you having to re-explain yourself over stuff she "misunderstood" (twisted around).

So i've noticed.

I am 20, I am turning 21 on Wednesday.
I've grown up in a single parent home my whole life, exposed to ****head men who weren't worth a damn all while watching my mom have HER mom pay for things.
I've grown up with her mirco-managing my life. I HAVE a helicopter parent.
I've grown up not being made to do chores, never had a punishment followed through with, always bailed out of situations and never made to do a damn thing I didn't want to do. Getting everything I could possibly want except a car.
Despite all this she still has been oddly controlling, been super strict in the weirdest of areas and had the most f'd up reasoning behind some things.
"Women only wear make up to get sex from men"
"Tampons are only for women who are ready for sex or who have had sex."
For some reason, she is snooty, above everyone else who isn't up to her standards,even to her own family, my brother now acts like this.
I've grown up with her being knee deep in my every move, every everything. Whether it was school or my social life, she was knee deep and kicking.
She's always been mentally and verbally abusive towards me.
Always telling me my eye brows looked like almond slivers. (She meant it as a cut down.)Or after I dyed my hair and the lady messed it up and I had to have it dyed twice, my hair was really dry and she used to tell me EVERYDAY, my hair looked like "nasty straw". She cuts down my appearance everyday, always trying to tell me something looks bad on me or that something I like or whatever is stupid or nasty or wrong.
I was never taught any good money managing skills, never saved through high school or was made to save anything, never made to pay for anything.
I got sick, I got mono, had to finish high school a semester late.
Never saved any money, didn't get scholarships for grades because my grades weren't good enough.
I'm spoiled. I'm used to the finer things in life. I am used to having opposed to not. I like things and items, I don't plan on living a life of little or going without...I once was there, lived it but couldn't afford the t-shirt....I'm not going back.
I have sports injuries. I have a bone spur in my right foot from soccer where my foot got kicked on the underneath so hard that I couldn't move my toes for a few hours, I have a screwed up shoulder/arm from swimming and soccer, I have a back that's sore most of the time but I don't let any of it deter me from doing what I love and dream of doing.


NOW, I am stuck living at home till I can land some jobs to make enough money to move out.
I AM trying to change things in my life.
I AM trying to do what I need to do. (Work, go to college, experience life.)
And all I ask for is that I am treated with some respect. Don't treat me like I am some incompetent fool who doesn't know how to do a damn thing, don't treat me like a child or talk to me like one. Let me follow my own direction and support me in life. Don't violate my trust or privacy. Give me space where I want it and support where I need it.

Sure, I am immature, its a side effect of my upbringing.
Sure, my priorities are skewed. I rather have a cell phone now and wait till insurance comes with my job to have insurance.

But I am not a bad person.
I'm smart when I put my mind to it, I am a decent person. I don't go do illegal activities anymore than the next normal 20 year old. Ok sure, I've drank outside my house on occasion (in my state its legal on your parents property with their permission), I've sped before, I'm pretty sure I've been out past town curfew once or twice when I was under 18 and there was that one time I TRIED weed and didn't like it. I go to college, I work, I hang out with my friends, I have my major planned and I am not deterring from it, I have my career goals set and set high.

I don't think any of my request are unreasonable.
I don't want my mail read.
I don't want a curfew set on me. If I want to be out all night that's up to me, as long as I am not waking anyone up at 4am then it doesn't matter.
I don't want ridiculous things like a bed time and wake time set on me. I have school and I have work and I need to sleep according to MY schedule.
I don't want to be made fun of or cut down.
I don't want to feel like a 16 year old being interrogated every time I want to go out.
I don't want to be slammed on facebook by a grown woman who should know better.

I am glad she does what she does for me.
I am happy I have a place to stay and food to eat.
I just want some space and freedom, I want to start edging out on my own and sliding into my own life.
If I want to go out till 4am with work the next day at 9am and I can get in without waking anyone up and am up for work the next day, then I don't see why anyone should interfere.


I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve a lot of the stuff she says/does to me and I don't deserve a lot of what people have said here.

K I've said my peace for now.

[MSPLove]

Originally Posted by Hopes

txtqueen isn't a kid anymore. She's an adult.

Only according to the law. lol

The mother definitely has issues. The whole family has issues. But it seems the OP has overstayed her welcome in her mother's home. She's well past the age to be out on her own. Her mother wants her out of the house. If she were more appreciative and not so self absorbed, her mother might feel differently about her staying there.

Okay, so her mom wants her out.
That's still no excuse for such behavior on her part.
No excuse whatsoever! lol

She should be upfront with her kid, grow a backbone, and give her a solid deadline to get her stuff together and move out then.
You don't think what she's done is equally immature?
Enough with the shady online posts and dysfunctional communication. She owes her daughter an apology for what she called her.
And if she feels she needs an apology for some things, she can ask for it.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

Sure, I am immature, its a side effect of my upbringing.

You are using your upbringing as a crutch! There are many people who had terrible parents but they still managed to have good grades and get scholarships. You sound like the people at Alanon, who blame their entire misfortunes on their upbringing. Things aren't going to improve in your life until you take responsibility for where you are in life. The blame game doesn't get you very far. You'll have difficulty accomplishing any of your goals as long as you keep holding onto that blame crutch!

Originally Posted by txtqueen

I'm spoiled. I'm used to the finer things in life. I am used to having opposed to not. I like things and items, I don't plan on living a life of little or going without...I once was there, lived it but couldn't afford the t-shirt....I'm not going back.

This is a side effect of your upbringing too. You could break this bad habit if you wanted.

Originally Posted by txtqueen

I don't think any of my request are unreasonable.
I don't want my mail read.
I don't want a curfew set on me. If I want to be out all night that's up to me, as long as I am not waking anyone up at 4am then it doesn't matter.
I don't want ridiculous things like a bed time and wake time set on me. I have school and I have work and I need to sleep according to MY schedule.
I don't want to be made fun of or cut down.
I don't want to feel like a 16 year old being interrogated every time I want to go out.
I don't want to be slammed on facebook by a grown woman who should know better.

I am glad she does what she does for me.
I am happy I have a place to stay and food to eat.
I just want some space and freedom, I want to start edging out on my own and sliding into my own life.
If I want to go out till 4am with work the next day at 9am and I can get in without waking anyone up and am up for work the next day, then I don't see why anyone should interfere.

This all falls under "if you live under her roof, you live by her rules." You don't get the luxury of what you want until you move out on your own.

You have made the decison to sacrifice your freedom so you won't have to go without.

Originally Posted by txtqueen

I don't deserve a lot of what people have said here.

We didn't seek you out. You posted here on CityData. And you've known for a long time how people will respond. Yet you still posted this thread.

I understand how you feel you're a good person because you don't break the law and you don't do drugs. That's great. I'm not saying that you aren't a good person.

But I think it's a shame those are the only positive things you have to say about yourself.

btw, I know some young adults who do drugs and they have their act together more than you. And they are younger than you too!

I'm glad you picked your major. I'm glad you have career goals. I'm just wish you would stop the blame game.

Your mother and your upbringing aren't want's holding you back. You are holding yourself back.

[beccaaa]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

So i've noticed.

I am 20, I am turning 21 on Wednesday.
I've grown up in a single parent home my whole life, exposed to ****head men who weren't worth a damn all while watching my mom have HER mom pay for things.

All im going to say to this is there are many other teenagers/young adults that would give ANYTHING to have your life, So your moms a ***** at times we ALL have parents that are like that.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by Minnesconsinite

Only according to the law. lol

By law, her mother owes her nothing.

Originally Posted by Minnesconsinite

You don't think what she's done is equally immature?

Of course! But her mother isn't posting on CityData. If her mother were posting here, I would address her mother.

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by Hopes

You are using your upbringing as a crutch! There are many people who had terrible parents but they still managed to have good grades and get scholarships. You sound like the people at Alanon, who blame their entire misfortunes on their upbringing. Things aren't going to improve in your life until you take responsibility for where you are in life. The blame game doesn't get you very far. You'll have difficulty accomplishing any of your goals as long as you keep holding onto that blame crutch!


This is a side effect of your upbringing too. You could break this bad habit if you wanted.


This all falls under "if you live under her roof, you live by her rules." You don't get the luxury of what you want until you move out on your own.

You have made the decison to sacrifice your freedom so you won't have to go without.


We didn't seek you out. You posted here on CityData. And you've known for a long time how people will respond. Yet you still posted this thread.

I understand how you feel you're a good person because you don't break the law and you don't do drugs. That's great. I'm not saying that you aren't a good person.

But I think it's a shame those are the only positive things you have to say about yourself.

btw, I know some young adults who do drugs and they have their act together more than you. And they are younger than you too!

I'm glad you picked your major. I'm glad you have career goals. I'm just wish you would stop the blame game.

Your mother and your upbringing aren't want's holding you back. You are holding yourself back.

They aren't the only positive things I said.
I said I was smart, I was worked towards finishing my education, I have a job.