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"My sister pierced both of my nieces' ears at six months ... I refused to be there, was across the huge mall, and could *still* hear their screaming from the pain. Who does that to a baby just to look "cute"? It is selfish on the parent's part.
Not to mention getting *any* piercing done at the mall at a place like Claire's ... those guns cannot be sterilized and are the most painful way to get a piercing. Think about making a hole in a piece of paper - there are two options. A pin or a hole puncher. The gun is like a hole puncher. For crying out loud, if you're going to let yourself or your kid have metal go through your flesh, get it done by a licensed professional with a sterilized, one-time use needle."
I don't know what they use at the doctor's office, but I am assuming it is a sterile needle, which is probably why it is less painful than when people take kids to the mall ... I suppose if you're going to physically project your own painful ideals onto a baby who cannot consent rather than a kid or teenager who actually wants the piercing, the doctor or a professional piercer is the way to go.
"My sister pierced both of my nieces' ears at six months ... I refused to be there, was across the huge mall, and could *still* hear their screaming from the pain. Who does that to a baby just to look "cute"? It is selfish on the parent's part.
Not to mention getting *any* piercing done at the mall at a place like Claire's ... those guns cannot be sterilized and are the most painful way to get a piercing. Think about making a hole in a piece of paper - there are two options. A pin or a hole puncher. The gun is like a hole puncher. For crying out loud, if you're going to let yourself or your kid have metal go through your flesh, get it done by a licensed professional with a sterilized, one-time use needle."
I don't know what they use at the doctor's office, but I am assuming it is a sterile needle, which is probably why it is less painful than when people take kids to the mall ... I suppose if you're going to physically project your own painful ideals onto a baby who cannot consent rather than a kid or teenager who actually wants the piercing, the doctor or a professional piercer is the way to go.
My daughter got her ears pierced at the doctor's office at her 10 year well child visit last year, and my doctor used guns, and she explained to me how the guns had been sterilized (although, I can't remember, lol). The pede asked me put dots on my daughter's ears with a marker to indicate where I wanted the piercings to go. My pede also used numbing cream on my daughter's earlobes, and the doctor pierced one with the nurse pierced the other simultaneously. My daughter didn't feel a thing, and the piercing only cost $10 more than it would have at Claire's. Money well spent.
I don't know of any guns that can be sterilized properly. Maybe one has been invented? The numbing cream is what made it less/not painful.
No idea. lol. I wish I could remember, but I can't.
Yes, the numbing cream alone was worth the extra 10 bucks. They don't use that at the mall. Plus, I think the environment of a private exam room is better than a busy mall with others watching or walking by.
Yeah, I definitely agree with the private room making things calmer.
I'm picky about where and who I go to for body modifications - no way would I go somewhere where I had no semblance of privacy while being pierced. Even if it was just 'cubicle style' like I've seen in some tattoo and piercing shops. It's much quieter, you can ask for more or less music, etc.
But most importantly - your daughter was ten. She clearly must have wanted the piercing - which is more than an infant can say.
My daughter is almost 10 months old and my mom keeps bothering me about getting her ears pierced. I told her I don't want to subject my baby to that kind of pain and that she can decide if she wants them pierced when she is older.
My other daughter is 2 1/2 and she bugged me about this too. I still have not gotten her ears pierced.
Why is it so necessary for me to get her ears pierced as a baby? I don't get it. Sure it looks cute but at what cost? Too much pain in my opiniion.
See, the part I don't get is that your mom KEEPS bothering you about it. I would think that having the discussion once or MAYBE twice would suffice.
That she keeps bringing it up is very disrespectful and undermining to you as a parent. I would worry more about that than whether or not the girls have their ears pierced.
See, the part I don't get is that your mom KEEPS bothering you about it. I would think that having the discussion once or MAYBE twice would suffice.
That she keeps bringing it up is very disrespectful and undermining to you as a parent. I would worry more about that than whether or not the girls have their ears pierced.
Don't get me wrong it bothers me too. She mentions it often and frankly I don't know how to tell her to be quiet without insulting her. She constantly undermines my parenting. I'll give you an example. My son asked her for an ice cream cone. I told my mom he could have one IF he ate a piece of fruit first. So my son started complaining and saying he wasn't going to eat the fruit. So she gave him an ice cream anyways
Yeah, I definitely agree with the private room making things calmer.
I'm picky about where and who I go to for body modifications - no way would I go somewhere where I had no semblance of privacy while being pierced. Even if it was just 'cubicle style' like I've seen in some tattoo and piercing shops. It's much quieter, you can ask for more or less music, etc.
But most importantly - your daughter was ten. She clearly must have wanted the piercing - which is more than an infant can say.
Absolutely! We wouldn't have gotten her ears pierced if she hadn't wanted them pierced. I would never pierce an infant's ears, and my husband was even more adamant than me. His grandmother hated that! She wanted to see diamonds in those little ears! Completely off-topic, but one year, it was so cold on Christmas, that we skipped the dresses and put them in flannel shirts, sweaters, and leggings when we went to the family Christmas Eve dinner. That caused some tongues to wag! Little girls not in red velvet on Christmas Eve! Unheard of!
But you've got me thinking about those piercing guns now. lol.
Don't get me wrong it bothers me too. She mentions it often and frankly I don't know how to tell her to be quiet without insulting her. She constantly undermines my parenting. I'll give you an example. My son asked her for an ice cream cone. I told my mom he could have one IF he ate a piece of fruit first. So my son started complaining and saying he wasn't going to eat the fruit. So she gave him an ice cream anyways
Yeah, that would be one of the reasons I don't live anywhere near my family, lol. I had to practically hang up the phone on my mom dozens of times until she got the point that she couldn't manipulate or use guilt to control me and to leave me out of the family drama.
It sounds harsh...and unfair to your son...but I'd have taken the ice cream away from DS to reassert your authority with your mom. The last thing you want is your mom getting between you and your kids. There are some old threads here about parents and their TEENAGERS with interfering grandparents. You can bet it started off with 'little' incidents like you are describing.
It takes some courage and you might ruffle some feathers but give it a whirl...
"Mom, we've discussed this before and I'm not going to get the girls ears pierced. Please don't bring it up again." The next time she brings it up you get off the phone (the dryer is done and I have to go...) or change the subject WITHOUT giving her another answer about the ears. It might take a while but she'll get the point.
She gives your DS ice cream and you tell him...right in front of her...
"I'm sorry sweetie, Grandma shouldn't have given you that ice cream. Mommy said you can have the ice cream when you are done with your fruit. I'll put it in the freezer and you let me know when you are ready for it." Take the ice cream and put it in the freezer...period.
The first few times your mom will probably blow a gasket. She'll eventually get the idea that YOU are the mom and she isn't in charge of your kids.
Yeah, that would be one of the reasons I don't live anywhere near my family, lol. I had to practically hang up the phone on my mom dozens of times until she got the point that she couldn't manipulate or use guilt to control me and to leave me out of the family drama.
It sounds harsh...and unfair to your son...but I'd have taken the ice cream away from DS to reassert your authority with your mom. The last thing you want is your mom getting between you and your kids. There are some old threads here about parents and their TEENAGERS with interfering grandparents. You can bet it started off with 'little' incidents like you are describing.
It takes some courage and you might ruffle some feathers but give it a whirl...
"Mom, we've discussed this before and I'm not going to get the girls ears pierced. Please don't bring it up again." The next time she brings it up you get off the phone (the dryer is done and I have to go...) or change the subject WITHOUT giving her another answer about the ears. It might take a while but she'll get the point.
She gives your DS ice cream and you tell him...right in front of her...
"I'm sorry sweetie, Grandma shouldn't have given you that ice cream. Mommy said you can have the ice cream when you are done with your fruit. I'll put it in the freezer and you let me know when you are ready for it." Take the ice cream and put it in the freezer...period.
The first few times your mom will probably blow a gasket. She'll eventually get the idea that YOU are the mom and she isn't in charge of your kids.
I have taken it away but then my son starts screaming and I want to just let him scream until he realizes that screaming is not going to get him anywhere. I think she has conditioned him to scream because in her house screaming works for him.
However, she starts saying that she doesn't want to hear him screaming so she gives into him. Its just so frustrating. Then she starts with the I'm older speech and can't handle the stress etc etc.
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