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Don't they do chores already, with or without new clothes?
I think it's fair for children to do chores since they are part of the family, however adults and children/teens don't think the same way. An adult might think "I am buying something my child wants therefore I am going to show it to them and make them earn it like an adult." The child is thinking, "my parent bought me something I didn't want if it meant extra chores and I didn't get a choice in the matter."
So yes, you bought the clothes (on impulse) then told them the "deal" after the fact. That isn't fair. To make it fair, you offer them the choice. They can choose to work for them or you can take them back.
And frankly, if you have 2 mortgages you are having such a hard time keeping up with that you are wanting the govt to pay for you kid's school lunches, you shouldn't be making impulse purchases to begin with.
ETA - wow - a lot of posts since I started my response....I agree that the kids certainly ought to be doing these things anyway....they aren't?
I recently bought both kids all needed school supplies, and some new clothes. I got them each some wardrobe basics, like pants, shirts, shoes, underwear, after all, they have to wear something.
Then, I happened to find some really cute tops for dd and printed tees for ds. they were a bit more than I would have cared to pay, but they were so nice I couldn't pass them up. I told them they could earn them, by doing household chores, ie, mow the lawn, mop the floor, scrub the tub. They scream that's not fair. I agreed---they should do such chores for nothing, see, now they get some nice duds for a little work!
Unfair---agreed!
I can not understand how anyone can post questions about qualifying for reduced lunches because of your financial situation and then post something like this. You really should be ashamed of yourself.
One of my main concerns with this is the "after the fact" element.
In our family we so deliberatly try to limit choices but we always try to make sure that the kids know exactly where they stand BEFORE something hapens.
I grew up on my parents' stories of the depression. Listen to a few of those and you learn how to squeeze nickels and cut coupons and grab a couple "extra" plastic bags from the produce department when you're buying bananas.. My mother had a shoebox full of coupons. Ever time she used one she put the 50 cents, or whatever it was, into a special savings account. She put hundreds of dollars a year into that account. Guess what I do myself?
I grew up on my parents' stories of the depression. Listen to a few of those and you learn how to squeeze nickels and cut coupons and grab a couple "extra" plastic bags from the produce department when you're buying bananas.. My mother had a shoebox full of coupons. Ever time she used one she put the 50 cents, or whatever it was, into a special savings account. She put hundreds of dollars a year into that account. Guess what I do myself?
No, I bought them on impulse. Just something extra, but like you said, I'm now budgeting for Axe, can't go too overboard.
I didn't give them to them, then ask for chores, I showed them the clothes, then suggested the do some extra chores incompensation for them.
Shopping on impulse is a bad habit. Even worse is expecting someone else to pay for your bad habit. You want them to pay for the clothes YOU couldn't resist. That sounds very manipulative. I can see why your kids are resentful and act out.
we bought them a basic wardrobe, and a lot more than many kids get.
And you bought them even more, and stuff that "was a little more" than you'd like to spend....WHY?
All you do is complain about how ungrateful and nasty they are and that you are in finacial straights. Do you not see the connection? I don't get how you don't see this and why you continue the same patterns over and over again that apparently haven't worked out so well.
Last edited by maciesmom; 08-25-2010 at 04:50 PM..
Reason: punct
So yes, you bought the clothes (on impulse) then told them the "deal" after the fact. That isn't fair. To make it fair, you offer them the choice. They can choose to work for them or you can take them back.
And frankly, if you have 2 mortgages you are having such a hard time keeping up with that you are wanting the govt to pay for you kid's school lunches, you shouldn't be making impulse purchases to begin with.
ETA - wow - a lot of posts since I started my response....I agree that the kids certainly ought to be doing these things anyway....they aren't?
Excuse me, the govt isn't paying for their lunches, we don't have 2 mortgages, and if I want to buy a few impulse items for my kids, I will....we're not on anyone's dole!
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