U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,518 posts, read 3,239,207 times
Reputation: 968
Default Anyone else have a 5 year old struggling with Kindergarten?

My oldest, he is 5, just started yesterday. It was a pretty miserable day for him and I keep telling myself that he will be okay. This morning was another morning of tears and begging for us not to make him go. He tells us that he has no friends and no one will play with him and I tell him that it will take him time to meet new friends and get used to his new routine.

On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better. Anyone else struggling? Any tips to help us out? Thanks
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,435 posts, read 1,120,981 times
Reputation: 2186
In Canada kids start kindergarten at 4 yrs old which in my opinion is too young.
Give it a week and I'm sure he will get used to it. I was terrified of kindergarten. I hated being away from home and I cried so much the first day that my mom had to come and get me. Don't make the same mistake she did. My mom had to volunteer to help the teacher so that she could stay with me at school. Otherwise I refused to go.
In my opinion it really was not the best way to deal with the situation.
Just give it time. Your son will get used to it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:47 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 2,561,292 times
Reputation: 2106
Be careful to not get too soft. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to school for kindergarten age.

In one of the elementary schools I worked in, there was a girl who cried every single day for months. She happened to be the daughter of someone I grew up next door to. She was very attached to mom and did not want to go to school. The next year you couldn't keep her away from there. Her brother started and never cried one day.

If he knows he has to adjust and crying won't keep him home, he will be ok. It might help to talk about everything positive he experiences during the day and not mention or dwell on the negative. After a bit, he will do more focusing on the positive and look more forward to going.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: bold new city of the south
4,911 posts, read 2,019,741 times
Reputation: 5646
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalan View Post
In Canada kids start kindergarten at 4 yrs old which in my opinion is too young.
Give it a week and I'm sure he will get used to it. I was terrified of kindergarten. I hated being away from home and I cried so much the first day that my mom had to come and get me. Don't make the same mistake she did. My mom had to volunteer to help the teacher so that she could stay with me at school. Otherwise I refused to go.
In my opinion it really was not the best way to deal with the situation.
Just give it time. Your son will get used to it.
As usual, Lisa is right. Also, are you showing him ya'll are upset too?

""On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better""

I don't let moms or dads get on the field when 'little Johnnie' gets dinged (Baseball game). An almost calm kid goes total BOO HOO, when his parents are right there scared.

Just let him know he'll be fine and look it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 5,370,552 times
Reputation: 3512
Talk to the teacher. Ask them how long your child is crying for. Honestly, most of the time it's 5-10 minutes and then they're good to go for the day. If your child is hysterical for hours, that's a totally different ball game.

My mom is a kindergarten teacher, and the first week is filled with tears. By the end of the week, nearly everyone is over it. The only ones who aren't are the ones whose parents stick around or are having a tough time themselves.

Remember though, it was only the first couple days! It's scary as an adult to go to a new job or activity where you don't know anyone, so of course your child is going to be nervous for a while. That's normal
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,435 posts, read 1,120,981 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Be careful to not get too soft. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to school for kindergarten age.

In one of the elementary schools I worked in, there was a girl who cried every single day for months. She happened to be the daughter of someone I grew up next door to. She was very attached to mom and did not want to go to school. The next year you couldn't keep her away from there. Her brother started and never cried one day.

If he knows he has to adjust and crying won't keep him home, he will be ok. It might help to talk about everything positive he experiences during the day and not mention or dwell on the negative. After a bit, he will do more focusing on the positive and look more forward to going.

That's what I was warning the OP about as well in my post.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 02:06 PM
Status: "Love Wins in North Carolina!" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
25,209 posts, read 16,421,672 times
Reputation: 30353
I'm sure you know kids can so easily pick up on our anxieties and fear. Put on a happy face, steel your smile and take him to school. Don't baby him, make promises, offer treats and other bribes. He'll do fine. If he hears you two talking about it too much he will know he can manipulate the situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: here
16,927 posts, read 13,866,478 times
Reputation: 13702
Give it some more time. Things often get better as they get used to their new routine, new teacher, etc. If it doesn't get better, talk to the teacher and/or go observe the class yourself to see what's going on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 05:24 PM
 
Location: The brown house on the cul de sac
2,081 posts, read 2,656,120 times
Reputation: 9258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uconn97 View Post
My oldest, he is 5, just started yesterday. It was a pretty miserable day for him and I keep telling myself that he will be okay. This morning was another morning of tears and begging for us not to make him go. He tells us that he has no friends and no one will play with him and I tell him that it will take him time to meet new friends and get used to his new routine.

On the flip side this has been pretty hard on us too. We feel really bad for him and are trying to assure him that all will be well. Yesterday was horrible when we had to drop him off. My wife said today wasn't much better. Anyone else struggling? Any tips to help us out? Thanks
The first is always the hardest for mom and dad! Is this his usual reaction to new situations? Did he react like this when he first started preschool? Sounds to me like it there could be some separation anxiety for him. Very common at this age. Do you know any of the other children in his class? Maybe you could schedule a playdate with them to help foster a friendship. I wouldn't make a big deal of it with him...he will get used to the new routine, class, teacher, school, etc.

If it makes you feel any better my daughter cried the entire morning! She was apprehensive again today but the report was slightly better. Changes in routine are hard for her.

Time and patience!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-01-2010, 05:37 PM
 
9,939 posts, read 7,232,247 times
Reputation: 8042
Some things that you can do to ease the transitions:

1. Get a copy of the Kissing Hand and read it to him. Then make your own ritual of giving him a kiss he can keep in his hand when he is at school and is thinking of you.

2. Give him a picture of the family he can keep in his backpack so he can take it out and look at it if he wants to.

3. If you can find one or two children that live near you who are in his class, you can arrange a playdate for the weekend with them.

4. Talk about what you will be doing while he is in school - cleaning the house or other boring things.

5. Remember that kindergarten is the *new* first grade. He may be a bit stressed if they expect a lot of academics even if he already knows a lot.

6. Talk about times when you were a little scared and when you got over it and had a good time.

7. If the teacher has given you the routine, talk about what will happen at school, so he knows what is coming.

8. Sometimes it helps if someone other than mom drops off in the morning.

Dorothy

Dorothy
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top