U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-02-2010, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,508 posts, read 5,413,991 times
Reputation: 3254

Advertisements

^ Good information. Here's the source. Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert

I'd say the above description is 90-95% accurate for my DS and DH.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-02-2010, 07:22 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,177 posts, read 4,918,149 times
Reputation: 3683
I used to try and try and be outgoing. My mom would bribe me with new clothes. I was heavily picked on in grade school and it sorta stuck with me. I have lots of friends now but I really have grown fond of my own company. I love the end of the day when I can put on sweats and watch law and order with my ship pasta with garlic and olive oil.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-02-2010, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
2,110 posts, read 1,572,045 times
Reputation: 2636
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
I used to try and try and be outgoing. My mom would bribe me with new clothes. I was heavily picked on in grade school and it sorta stuck with me. I have lots of friends now but I really have grown fond of my own company. I love the end of the day when I can put on sweats and watch law and order with my ship pasta with garlic and olive oil.
Sounds a lot like my son. He has friends, but loves just hanging in his room, door closed, reading a book or watching some TV.

I agree with whoever was wondering how one child can be social, yet another can be quiet and more of an introvert. 4 out of my 5 are very social. They have an easy time making friends and chatting with others. My 10 year old son, while he's very friendly, conversation just doesn't come naturally to him and he doesn't talk a whole lot, other than at home or when he's with his group of 2 or 3 close friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-02-2010, 07:35 PM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,177 posts, read 4,918,149 times
Reputation: 3683
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
Sounds a lot like my son. He has friends, but loves just hanging in his room, door closed, reading a book or watching some TV.

I agree with whoever was wondering how one child can be social, yet another can be quiet and more of an introvert. 4 out of my 5 are very social. They have an easy time making friends and chatting with others. My 10 year old son, while he's very friendly, conversation just doesn't come naturally to him and he doesn't talk a whole lot, other than at home or when he's with his group of 2 or 3 close friends.
The way I look at it is I am around people all day. At school, at my internship, the subway, the street, I live in new york city with 8 million other people. It's nice to have some time to myself.

I joke with my friends that I am glad I am a girl and get to sit down to pee, sometimes it's the only time i get to sit down in a day.

However, I am super chatty. When I am in class I always get in trouble for talking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-02-2010, 07:36 PM
 
4,476 posts, read 6,012,463 times
Reputation: 3637
That description is so interesting! It described me and my son, to a T. A couple of things made me laugh because they were so on point for me. Especially crowds and house guests!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-02-2010, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,508 posts, read 5,413,991 times
Reputation: 3254
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop View Post
That description is so interesting! It described me and my son, to a T. A couple of things made me laugh because they were so on point for me. Especially crowds and house guests!
Same here but I never attributed it to him being introverted. Unfortunately, DS's room is serves as our adult guest room and he is very particular about how he leaves things for them. He takes ALL of his 'important' things out of the room to the bonus room where he sleeps...even if it's something our adult guests wouldn't bother with anyway.

Where he is different from the description is that he doesn't prefer written over verbal communication. Often his brain moves so much faster than his typing or writing ability that what he writes seems choppy and not as clear as what he was thinking. It doesn't help that his handwriting is HORRIBLE and he practically refuses to write in cursive. The exception is that he enjoys creative writing, mostly short stories. I think the complexity of the story lines he comes up with take up sufficient bandwidth in his brain that his hands can keep up as he types, lol.
Now that I think about it, DH used to write short stories in high school and college too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-02-2010, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,510 posts, read 3,251,764 times
Reputation: 2440
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
I used to try and try and be outgoing. My mom would bribe me with new clothes. I was heavily picked on in grade school and it sorta stuck with me. I have lots of friends now but I really have grown fond of my own company. I love the end of the day when I can put on sweats and watch law and order with my ship pasta with garlic and olive oil.
I can be like that too.
Like when I am home. I like to be in my room doing something. I don't like to be out and mingling around the house and I have my days where people drain me and Ive been getting that drained feeling these past two weeks.

Like right now, I worked 9-5, I've been up since 7am, I am NOT a morning person, I did not want to go, it sucked, my one manager was at me again with making snide remarks and come to find out she thinks I hate my job and don't try hard enough. I got my period today, my back hurts I have cramps. I was in such a bad mood, I did not want to be around people, I didn't want to be at work, I wanted to lay down, eat and just listen to music and forget people existed, which I did when I got home. One thing I really took away from explorers and law enforcement was remaining calm under pressure and acting cool, like everything's great and dandy and nothings phasing you. I call it cheerleader mode. I just put on my pep and spunk and you'd have no idea that I wanted to like go hide in a pillow bin and cry.


However I much rather get out and do something.
I crave being out with people and socializing and doing something.
I can't stand sitting at home doing nothing with no one to talk to.
Which is why when I am home I spend a lot of time on my phone and computer talking with the people I can't be with in person. I almost always have to be talking or socializing or something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-03-2010, 03:16 AM
 
24 posts, read 25,348 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCyank View Post
^ Good information. Here's the source. Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert

I'd say the above description is 90-95% accurate for my DS and DH.

Oops, didn't add the reference for my information.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-03-2010, 03:22 AM
 
Location: southern california
49,803 posts, read 46,924,638 times
Reputation: 41059
no worse than cutting off your arm. social disability often disguises itself as the american lone hero riding off into the sunset fantasy. which only works if there are some loyal sidekicks and adoring females. also the notion that rugged individualism can solve all-- was a TV western fantasy. steve mcqueen said so regarding his own western TV series, wanted dead or alive. an utter fantasy. 1 guy does not beat gangs. the gang wins, always.
those i have known who have suffered the most were loners. strengthen your weaknesses friend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-03-2010, 03:25 AM
 
Location: Chicago
36,374 posts, read 57,184,856 times
Reputation: 25270
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Bewitched View Post
My oldest son (15) has never had many friends. Doesn't really know how to carry on a conversation. I've posted about that in the past.

In middle school he had one friend that he was close to all 3 of the years, but he still didn't "hang" much with him outside of school- they might have seen each other 2 each summer. Now, he is entering his sophomore year in high school. He has yet to have any phone calls from friends, or make any phone calls. He went to one sleepover with a bunch of boys from his baseball team, and while he said he had fun and everything went fine (the boy whose house it was goes to his school in his grade).....he never contacted the boy to hang out again. I brought it up, but he just said no. So all freshman year, and this summer, he spent without friends. But, he says it's his choice. He just wants to be alone.

I'm trying to understand it, because that wasn't me in high-school. I was crying if I couldn't go out. I was out every weekend, and getting thrown off the phone because I'd hog it. So since it wasn't normal for me, I don't know if it is normal to just prefer to be by yourself.

He's not a dork- I have seen enough of them in high school to know that he doesn't look like that. He's a cute kid- blond hair, blue eyes, no acne....he is cute and that's not a mother talking. Average height, a little skinny. So I know it's not that he's a nerd or ugly that no one wants to be his friend. He's more on the quiet side.........when he stays in, all he does is either play video games, or watch TV. If I take that away, he'll read. He loves to read. I can't take that away.

Yes, he was in baseball.......but didn't do anything with the kids.

I guess I'm asking: is it OK to just want to be by yourself?
Given the way most high schoolers behave, I'd almost be relieved he doesn't want to hang out with that lot.

It's OK to want to be alone. The question here is does he really want to be alone or does he just say so to feel better about the fact that he simply doesn't know how to socialize with others? In my experience/observation, one way to tell if he's a loner by choice or just plain socially inept is how well he interacts with adults. If he can carry on normal interactions with adults, he's probably fine and just can't find much to relate with among his own peer group. If he simply doesn't know how to interact normally with anyone, then he may have a deeper problem. Of course ongoing parental vigilance will be necessary to distinguish whether he's a loner by choice or not. One final note, I've also noticed that folks of the "he can functionally interact with adults but doesn't care for the high school social scene" persuasion, tend to majorly blossom once they hit college, particularly one large enough that no single "clique" can dominate the social scene.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:20 AM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top