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I have a bit of an issue with some of my friends....my family and i co sleep. I'm have 2, 7 year old twins girls and a 5 year old boy and we all sleep every night in a bed soft comfy bed along with the hubby. The children actually do have their own rooms for privacy and sometimes they do sleep in them, but for the most part they tendto snuggle up with us every night. The are very well adjusted smart kids with no anxiety issues i can see or seperation problems so i thought this was no issue as this is something both my hubby and i were raised like. Well until i mentioned to a group of moms at a book club and every one of the 10 gave me the "what are you thinking glance". I got the argument "your kids will be whiny" "they will never learn to leave the nest" "you must have no sex life" the last of which is far from true . Am i nuts though to think what we are doing is okay? Or am i really doing something wrong here?
First of all how do you fit 5 people in a bed? Even if it is king size I can't imagine that it would be comfortable. Secondly, they really are too old to be co-sleeeping at this point. They should be sleeping in their own room. I can understand co-sleeping with young kids up to maybe 3 or 4 years old. Its going to be really difficult to move them out of your bed. How does your husband feel about this?
When they are under 4 you can't reason with them too well in terms of explaining to them that they have to sleep in their own rooms. By 4 you should be able to have a rational talk with the kids and explain to them that they will be sleeping in their own beds.
This is my opinion however. I know you are going to continue to do what works for you.
I believe that a child learning to sleep in his own bed is a tool that helps the child separate from his parents, and gain confidence. Your children are not babies. If you treat them as if they are, you are perhaps slowing down their maturing process.
As lisalan said, no way is anyone sleeping good this way.
Also, the ritual of tucking your children into bed each night is a precious one that they are missing out on.
Having a child sleep in his own bed in his own room is a cultural thing, not a necessary part of his development. Whether or not it is healthy for children to sleep with their parents depends on the relationship, the kids needs, and the reasons for the arrangement. It probably is unhealthy in some cases and fine in others.
OP, you say you and your husband were both raised that way. Did it cause any problems for you or your families? Do you have a plan for moving them to their own rooms at a certain age?
I know plenty of people who do a family bed. It is very cultural how kids sleep. In modern Western culture we are used to kids sleeping in separate beds in separate rooms even, but this is not how it's done in the rest of the world for most of time. If the kids have access to a separate sleeping space, they will most likely start sleeping there by puberty at latest. Do what works for your own family and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
I believe that a child learning to sleep in his own bed is a tool that helps the child separate from his parents, and gain confidence. Your children are not babies. If you treat them as if they are, you are perhaps slowing down their maturing process.
As lisalan said, no way is anyone sleeping good this way.
Also, the ritual of tucking your children into bed each night is a precious one that they are missing out on.
The OP has not indicated where she's from and so it may/may not be culturally accepted.
If she's from the United States, it certainly would be considered abnormal. At some point it won't be only other mothers who give her sideways glances. The kids will be subjected to ridicule at school.
Embracing this practice has deep rooted sentiment which the OP has yet to express. "raised like" offers no real explanation as to why the OP and her husband engage in a very non-standard practice. (assuming they live in the USA)
I don't believe in "cosleeping". I understand it when babies are, well, babies, and you have to get up and down with them all night. But past the age of 1 I think it's laziness and comfort on the parents part. At your kids ages I think it's down right weird.
I read the reasons your "friends" gave for it being bad, and read where you rebutted them. My concern with cosleeping families that take it so far is when the kids are older. I feel like they are the type that will be clingy and always want a boyfriend or girlfriend and won't want to be alone or sleep alone.
I'm not attacking you. If it's what works for your family, have at it. I just wouldn't expect many other people to agree with what you do, and be ready for the "looks" you'll get when you tell people.
You have kids ages 2, 5, and 7 that sleep in your bed every night and still have a great sex life?
Maybe they take the hanky panky to the shower, or kitchen table, or the kids choo choo Thomas bed
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. Am i nuts though to think what we are doing is okay? Or am i really doing something wrong here?
