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Why did she have to TRY to get the phone? Did you refuse to give it to her?
What was the question? Was it something like "Mom, why are you such a C U next Tuesday?"?
We were in Tennessee on vacay at my gmas house. I asked if I could drive to starbucks so I could use my laptop. She was already pissed off and started flipping out at me, so I was like nvm ill go away now, 5 minutes later she came into the room I was in, screaming about how we were there visiting family not there for the internet. I explained everyone was busy and had left me by myself and I was just bored and just wanted 30 minutes but it was no big deal so nevermind. Not satisfied she continued yelling. I was sitting in a desk chair with my laptop in my lap when she hit me. When she hit me my laptop fell off my lap and into the floor and broke. I was you broke my laptop?!?! and she went for my phone, she was like GIVE ME THAT, I told her no and that I didn't want my phone broken as well because it was my last link to my friends. Commense the hitting. When she finally gave up I left the house and called the cops.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow
I would say that if you spanked your son as a child and he grew into a young adult who called his mother a "bi&ch," that it means that the early spankings were not effective. They certainly were not effective if the intent was to teach the child self-control and to respect his parents.
Very very true.
Plus if someone at 20 is swearing at his/her mom or dad, do you really think that spanking them is going to fix the problem.....I think not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
Me too....I still remember vivdly the time I stuck a key in an outlet when I was little! (might explain a few things...) And the time I stuck my finger in the cigarette lighter in my grandfather's car....talk about natural consequences!
I once stabbed some scissors through my finger at age 10, was I spanked? Nope, not before or after the ER trip. A little profuse bleeding, more like gushing and some stitches goes along way to not get spanked.
My mom and brothers dad were spankers. I hold a lot of resentment towards both of them for it. Spankings were done southern style, usually with a paddle and VERY HARD and multiple times. I never learned from them because I usually stormed off to my room afterward in tears and in pain HATING them for it and just being so pissed that I was hit I had forgotten all about what I had did.
We were in Tennessee on vacay at my gmas house. I asked if I could drive to starbucks so I could use my laptop. She was already pissed off and started flipping out at me, so I was like nvm ill go away now, 5 minutes later she came into the room I was in, screaming about how we were there visiting family not there for the internet. I explained everyone was busy and had left me by myself and I was just bored and just wanted 30 minutes but it was no big deal so nevermind. Not satisfied she continued yelling. I was sitting in a desk chair with my laptop in my lap when she hit me. When she hit me my laptop fell off my lap and into the floor and broke. I was you broke my laptop?!?! and she went for my phone, she was like GIVE ME THAT, I told her no and that I didn't want my phone broken as well because it was my last link to my friends. Commense the hitting. When she finally gave up I left the house and called the cops.
Very very true.
Plus if someone at 20 is swearing at his/her mom or dad, do you really think that spanking them is going to fix the problem.....I think not.
I once stabbed some scissors through my finger at age 10, was I spanked? Nope, not before or after the ER trip. A little profuse bleeding, more like gushing and some stitches goes along way to not get spanked.
My mom and brothers dad were spankers. I hold a lot of resentment towards both of them for it. Spankings were done southern style, usually with a paddle and VERY HARD and multiple times. I never learned from them because I usually stormed off to my room afterward in tears and in pain HATING them for it and just being so pissed that I was hit I had forgotten all about what I had did.
txtqueen, you are on the wrong thread honey.
We all know you live in a very dysfunctional, abusive environment. We have all encouraged you to move out of that environment asap, especially now that you are 21 (happy belated birthday, btw!)
There are parents who spank who are not abusing their child, that was just not your experience.
I do agree with you though that after a certain point spanking is no longer the appropriate discipline or very effective in acheiving the desired results. In my experience spanking has outlived it's usefulness well before the teen years.
We all know you live in a very dysfunctional, abusive environment. We have all encouraged you to move out of that environment asap, especially now that you are 21 (happy belated birthday, btw!)
There are parents who spank who are not abusing their child, that was just not your experience.
I do agree with you though that after a certain point spanking is no longer the appropriate discipline or very effective in acheiving the desired results. In my experience spanking has outlived it's usefulness well before the teen years.
Yes, but even when I was actually spanked, it felt pointless after about age 5 or so.
I won't be a spanker but a pop on the hand and redirecting the attention is my plan.
NEVER a pop to the mouth or the face.
My theory is that if they are too young to understand they are doing bad why hit them?
And if they are old enough to be reasoned with, why hit them then either...
But if you must no earlier than 3 and no later than 6.
I think there are times when a non verbal child can benefit from a swat if it is what you need to do to keep the pecking order established. Children want to please their parents, and most of the time ours were good. It only takes once or twice.
After that, my kids probably only got about 2 spankings each in grade school. It was only for a dangerous infraction, like riding their bike across the street without looking, or one time my son was standing on top of a well, and they can all remember what they did to get spanked, and did not repeat the behavior.
I am not talking spanking as a regular thing, but just one little tool in the arsenal.
I would occassionally give me children attention-getting swats b/w the ages of two and three. Before that they were too young to understand the difference b/w right and wrong. After that, they were old enough for me to move on to taking away privledges.
My oldest child was always very headstrong and probably got more swats than her easy-going younger sister.
Both children are very kind and compassionate and have never struck a playmate. I don't think the occassional swats hurt them.
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