U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:00 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
369 posts, read 904,141 times
Reputation: 278

Advertisements

This is a question for those who have children (esp. young children) and the grandparents of these children live far away (700 miles +).

Do you visit the grandparents at their place more often or do the grandparents come visit you? What do you prefer?

When grandparents visit, do they stay at your home or in a hotel? Do they rent a car?

And the big question: how long do the grandparents stay? How long is too long from your perspective I know in some cultures (like Indian), grandparents can stay months at a time so I am interested in what is typical for Americans.

I'm having some issues with grandparent visits (too long etc) and I was wondering how everyone else does it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 87,169,246 times
Reputation: 39736
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstmom View Post
This is a question for those who have children (esp. young children) and the grandparents of these children live far away (700 miles +).

Do you visit the grandparents at their place more often or do the grandparents come visit you? What do you prefer?

When grandparents visit, do they stay at your home or in a hotel? Do they rent a car?

And the big question: how long do the grandparents stay? How long is too long from your perspective I know in some cultures (like Indian), grandparents can stay months at a time so I am interested in what is typical for Americans.

I'm having some issues with grandparent visits (too long etc) and I was wondering how everyone else does it.

In a hotel and rent a car? What kind of visit is THAT? They need to be in your home among your family to really get a good visit in, in my opinion. Unless of course THEY would rather the privacy of a hotel themselves. Otherwise you really should invite them to your home.

For grandparents who live so far I think you have to give them a week to 10 days when they come. More than 10 days would be getting to be a bit much for most American families I know
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,454 posts, read 42,548,616 times
Reputation: 47115
I don't like to be away from home for even one week. It would drive me batty to have another woman-even my mother- looking over my shoulder in the kitchen. So even though they live a long way from you I wouldn't stay or have visitors for more than 4-5 days.

House guests are like fish- they go bad after 3 days.

Now that could be much longer if they stayed in a motel and transportation was not a problem.

When we would visit my mother the first words out of her mouth when we walked in the door were:
"How long are you going to stay?"

And no matter what I said she would say:

"You never come to visit me and when you do you, don't stay very long".

She told me once her own mother used to say the same thing to her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:23 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 90,437,291 times
Reputation: 30307
7 to 10 days is appropriate for people who live far away because travel expenses are higher for them compared to people who live closer. It's inconsiderate to expect them to stay for just a few days, unless you're willing to pay their travel expenses for multiple trips. Think about it. A relative who lives far away could be spending a lot of money to travel to your home. If they have to break up a 10 day visit into two 5 day visits, that's twice the money they have to spend. It's also terribly rude to expect a relative to pay for a hotel and rental car. That's not how to treat out of town guests who are relatives IF you want to maintain a good relationship with them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:29 PM
 
2,515 posts, read 5,254,150 times
Reputation: 3491
What I'd give to have my parents come visit now. Mom's in a nursing home, so we travel to them now. We're about 400 miles from eachother. When they did travel, they'd stay for a week.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 87,169,246 times
Reputation: 39736
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahskye View Post
What I'd give to have my parents come visit now. Mom's in a nursing home, so we travel to them now. We're about 400 miles from eachother. When they did travel, they'd stay for a week.
What a great way to look at it

I'm sorry your mom is no longer able to visit.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:41 PM
 
32,533 posts, read 29,930,383 times
Reputation: 32280
A week (at least) for immediate family. No problem. Happy to see them. The kids slept out back in a tent.

We lived at a vacation destination and had relatives coming out of the woodwork hoping they could mooch a couple spare beds (we didn't have any) and a car (yeah, right) while they visited the beach and the amusement parks.

We gave them a list of motels and told them to use Price-line.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 04:45 PM
 
831 posts, read 1,324,992 times
Reputation: 2358
I live in SC and my family is WV. I live about 30 minutes from the beach. My family (mom, dad, brother, sis in law, neice, and sister) comes to visit once a year for a week. My parents rent a house and me, hubby and the kids join them all for the week.

I stay at my parents house for 7-10 days twice a yr. The girls always come with me. Sometimes hubby comes. I still think of my parents home as my home too. I get my old bedroom back and my girls get to share my sisters old room.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 05:01 PM
 
Location: here
24,759 posts, read 29,375,996 times
Reputation: 31946
We've done this all kinds of ways. the max stay was my in-laws for 8-9 days. A week is pretty normal. They only got a hotel once when we had other guests at the same time. My parents have an RV and often drive out and stay in that at a camp ground that is 10 minutes away. That is the best because the kids love to stay with them and camp for a night or 2. The first time my parents visited they only stayed for a few days and I wished they had stayed longer.

As far as who travels more, us or them, it really depends. We have a 1st grader now so we're limited on travel time now. All the grandparents are retired except one, and she's a teacher, so it is easier for them to come to us. The first 6 months after we moved away, though, we went home 3 times for holidays, weddings, and funerals.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2010, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,697,017 times
Reputation: 1707
We had a program on TV on sunday night called Junior masterchef
Junior MasterChef Australia 2010 - Official Site

One of the hosts was interviewed on the radio as I was driving to work on Monday and in the discussion is was noted that a large number of the successful child cooks had a "nana" (grandmother) living at home.

I understand that in ages past that several generations would live together in the one home. Grand parents had a much greater role in bringing up kids.

Our kids grandparents live about an hour away. Often we will go there just for a day and at other times we will stay the night and sometimes they will do the same with us. During school holidays the kids sometimes spend a few days with them.

I think it would be nice to have the grandparents live in a house near us. Next door or a few houses away so that the kids could just walk between our house and theirs. Or maybe a huge house with us in one wing and them in another and so on.

Anyway back to the OPs question. In terms of a visit, I would think a week or two at the most.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top