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Old 09-15-2010, 06:49 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,094,622 times
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Ok- so my daughter turned 18 a week ago- today I see in her cartilage a dang small earring-she has mentioned wanting it before AND tattoos .I really was shocked that she really did it- I again reminded her how tattoos are forever.. she said she didn't want one- and also reminded me that she can take this out of her cartilage(which i don't even know it that's correct). I am disappointed in her b/c she knows I don't like it. I realize that she is 18 now and I don't have alot of say but she still does live with me. Do you just let it go-I've kinda decided not to make a big deal about it and see what happens. it's not that visible sinc eh er hair covers it up. She is one of those kids that never fit in- never made a ton of close friends but is pretty smart and all-I love her to death but always just wonder soemtimes why she acts the way she does.any advice??
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:03 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,940,518 times
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My sister's daughter wanted a belly button ring when she was 16. My sister said no peircings. When her daughter turned 18, she got her LIP peirced on her birthday.

Sometimes it's best to let them do things before they are 18 while you still have control over the where, what and how.

Mine never wanted any tatoos or peircings. I was lucky I never had to deal with it.

To your question about just letting it go? Definitely. She's 18. It's her body. It's her decision. Making a big deal might propel her to get more of them.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:04 PM
 
326 posts, read 687,818 times
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Wow. My mom took me to get my Belly button pierced at 15 and we got tattoos together for my 18th bday..

Why do you not like piercings and tattoos?

My advice is to ask for her reason and listen to her instead of telling her your opinions. You will only push her away with your over bearing/ over protective additudes as she grows into her own person.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,378,467 times
Reputation: 3018
Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
Ok- so my daughter turned 18 a week ago- today I see in her cartilage a dang small earring-she has mentioned wanting it before AND tattoos .I really was shocked that she really did it- I again reminded her how tattoos are forever.. she said she didn't want one- and also reminded me that she can take this out of her cartilage(which i don't even know it that's correct). I am disappointed in her b/c she knows I don't like it. I realize that she is 18 now and I don't have alot of say but she still does live with me. Do you just let it go-I've kinda decided not to make a big deal about it and see what happens. it's not that visible sinc eh er hair covers it up. She is one of those kids that never fit in- never made a ton of close friends but is pretty smart and all-I love her to death but always just wonder soemtimes why she acts the way she does.any advice??
She can take it out.
I have my cartilage done and recently got it done as well.

She is 18.

Sure, it is your house and your rules but unless you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with your now adult daughter, you won't say/do anything.

You could go all hover mother on her and demand she take it out as long as she lives under your roof or punishments will be dealt out if she doesn't.

But if you want to do the right thing you let her find herself and make her own choices.

So if she comes home with more piercings, a tattoo, anything, let it go, don't say anything, she needs to go though this and find who she is and making her live under strict rules or treating her like a child and placing those restrictions on her is going to keep her from making those necessary growths she has to go through whether she lives at home or not.

In the past month I have gotten 6 piercings. I re-did my traditional lobe piercings, added my second lobe piercing, a cartilage piercing and my belly button piercing.

My mom pretty much hates everything but the traditional piercings.
She doesn't even know about the belly button though.

But I like them, I need to go though this phase to go past it, if I ever do, I like these piercings now, so I have them now and if I start to not like them I can always take them out.


Let her be. It's whats best.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
4,507 posts, read 7,823,618 times
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This wouldn't be something I'd get worked up about. My line would pretty much be facial piercings and visible tattoos....at that age and still living in my house.

And really, to be disappointed in her AS A PERSON because she got an ear piercing? What are you going to do when she does something more serious that you disagree with?
You shouldn't be expecting her to do or not do things to please you, you should be trying to accept her not only as your daughter but as her own person.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,134 posts, read 22,102,729 times
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I wouldn't get too worked up over it. Like you said, not much you can do about it anyway as she is 18. What is your relationship with your daughter? Is this a battle worth fighting?
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:28 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,094,622 times
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I don't plan to make a big deal about it- just don't know why anyone wants to do that to their body.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,378,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
I don't plan to make a big deal about it- just don't know why anyone wants to do that to their body.
You may not understand it but don't put her down for her choice either.
Accept her difference and NEVER say anything negative.

I like my piercings because they didn't hurt for more than a few seconds and I like the "look" I have. I don't look like some rebel freak, but I look good and it makes me happy.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:47 PM
 
222 posts, read 674,751 times
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She's 18. Technically she can do whatever she wants. I didn't even know kids still got their cartlidge pierced anymore. I'm sure in a few years she will take it out.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:55 PM
 
Location: in here, out there
3,065 posts, read 5,276,562 times
Reputation: 5109
She's doing it to p1ss you off. She thinks that makes her 'cool'. Therefore, the piercings are 'cool'.

I had to lay it down hard on my brother to take his eyebrow piercing out. I kept telling him "I never see ANYONE on your facebook page with that. It makes you look like a teenager (he's just 20)."

If you're lucky, she'll take it out. Hopefully before she's 40.
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