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Old 07-01-2007, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 1,481,261 times
Reputation: 378
Angry Parents dumping their children

I just finished watching a documentary on MSNBC about children in the foster care system. I get so angry when I watch these things. These parents are lazy and talk like they don't even have a high school education and they pop out all these children. They don't discipline them or teach them right from wrong and when they become large unruly teens they want the courts to deal with them. I just don't understand dumping your child in the court system. I know several parents who have young children who just run wild. They have no boundaries and are not being taught to respect anything. I watch these children and wonder if when they become teens who will teach them to follow rules? They will be taught, but who will it be? Parents who love them or the court system? I am not talking about children who are taken from parents who have issues like drugs or are incarcerated or otherwise able to care for their children. I am talking about perfectly healthy parents who were simply to lazy to raise their children and now want them out of the house at 12, 13 or 14. They say they are unruly and won't listen to them. Well....did you ever teach them to listen to you? Did they have consequences if they didn't listen to you? How horrible to a child to have their parent tell them they don't want them to live at home anymore.
Thanks for letting me rant!!
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Old 07-01-2007, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Middle, TN
636 posts, read 874,903 times
Reputation: 401
I feel blessed to have two wonderfull kids. I just cant see why anyone would give up on their kids and just hand them over to somebody else.Even though we have not had a problem with ours,I've seen some kids get into drugs and theft that had great parents and were raised right.Sometimes bad habits form in school and when it gets out of control,the parents have to answer for it.Even reform schools schools can't change some kids.Our kids don't get to run all over the place,they stay busy here on the farm and also have hobbies.Sadly though,not everyone can raise kids away from town and when kids have nothing to do,they'll find something good,,or bad to do and good kids do sometimes get mix up with the bad ones.Still can't see turning your back on them though,parents have to care in order for a kid to feel cared for.
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Old 07-02-2007, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 1,481,261 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by RS-1080 View Post
I feel blessed to have two wonderfull kids. I just cant see why anyone would give up on their kids and just hand them over to somebody else.Even though we have not had a problem with ours,I've seen some kids get into drugs and theft that had great parents and were raised right.Sometimes bad habits form in school and when it gets out of control,the parents have to answer for it.Even reform schools schools can't change some kids.Our kids don't get to run all over the place,they stay busy here on the farm and also have hobbies.Sadly though,not everyone can raise kids away from town and when kids have nothing to do,they'll find something good,,or bad to do and good kids do sometimes get mix up with the bad ones.Still can't see turning your back on them though,parents have to care in order for a kid to feel cared for.
I agree with most of your post, however, while it might be a little more challenging raising your children in a city enviornment it still can be done. Parenting is hard work and it begins at birth. I am so tired of watching parents think that everything their child does is cute and encouraging rude behavior and then when they are suddenly teenagers they expect them to some how miracuously know how to behave and to develop manners. And, when they can no longer control them they kick them out. I agree that good kids sometimes can get in with a bad crowd, however, a vigilant parent will know their kids friends and will do whatever it takes to remove them from the bad element. The parents that cry that they don't know what to do because their teen just won't listen need to realize that they are the adult and they know what is best for their child. My sisters son got in with a so called "bad crowd" at 14 and my brother in law took him with him everywhere he went for about 2 months so that he had no time to associate with those kids. They also got him into counseling and were willing to switch schools if needed. He graduated this year number 5 in his class and even though at the time he hated his parents, now he knows that if they had not intervened when they did he would probably gone down a different road. Because they were vigilant parents they knew early on that they did not like the crowd my nephew was getting in with. That is the key, you have to know who your kids are with and you have to do your job as a parent. Sitting is court and telling a judge that you no longer want your child to live with you causes emotional scars your child will probably never heal from. I firmly believe that if you do the work early you will be rewarded later with teens that you will be able to "live with".
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Old 07-02-2007, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 229,631 times
Reputation: 685
Its very sad that people have no better idea of how hard it is to be a parent.
I can't imagine what it would do to a child to be thrown out like so much trash.
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Old 07-02-2007, 08:47 AM
 
Location: North Jersey
10,815 posts, read 15,125,686 times
Reputation: 6602
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa_from_Debary View Post
Its very sad that people have no better idea of how hard it is to be a parent.
I can't imagine what it would do to a child to be thrown out like so much trash.

That is so horrible. I fail to understand why people have children today if they can't make the commitment......
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Old 07-03-2007, 05:00 PM
 
46 posts, read 128,633 times
Reputation: 24
Bottom line is that it takes all kinds of degrees and training to do most jobs today but any fool can be a parent. These people that look at welfare as a career and figure out if they keep popping out babies they get a fatter check should be forced to put their children up for adoption. Just because you can make a baby doesn't mean you should raise one. Babies are like puppies and kittens, they grow up!! Then the rest of us have to deal with the trailer trash they have raised. If a college education was a requirement for having more than one child and if you had anymore then you had to put them up for adoption then we would see the a huge drop in career welfare families.
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Old 07-05-2007, 01:37 PM
 
4,248 posts, read 6,529,066 times
Reputation: 1390
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kingsinvegas View Post
I just finished watching a documentary on MSNBC about children in the foster care system. I get so angry when I watch these things. These parents are lazy and talk like they don't even have a high school education and they pop out all these children. They don't discipline them or teach them right from wrong and when they become large unruly teens they want the courts to deal with them. I just don't understand dumping your child in the court system. I know several parents who have young children who just run wild. They have no boundaries and are not being taught to respect anything. I watch these children and wonder if when they become teens who will teach them to follow rules? They will be taught, but who will it be? Parents who love them or the court system? I am not talking about children who are taken from parents who have issues like drugs or are incarcerated or otherwise able to care for their children. I am talking about perfectly healthy parents who were simply to lazy to raise their children and now want them out of the house at 12, 13 or 14. They say they are unruly and won't listen to them. Well....did you ever teach them to listen to you? Did they have consequences if they didn't listen to you? How horrible to a child to have their parent tell them they don't want them to live at home anymore.
Thanks for letting me rant!!
I find this hard to believe, not that I don't believe you. I just wasn't aware of it and it's shocking, if this is the case.

I have no children, but this is in part to not having had a good childhood myself. However, if I were to take on this responsibility, I surely would see it through. I know anyone can procreate, but this is just flat out wrong.

I really feel sorry for these kids. What a mess.
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Old 07-05-2007, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 1,481,261 times
Reputation: 378
Yes, it is true. It was mostly focusing on the Indiana child welfare system but it is pretty much the same scenario across the board.
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Old 07-05-2007, 07:07 PM
 
Location: No city lights here
1,263 posts, read 2,871,816 times
Reputation: 434
I decided to work with children because I had one of "those Parents"
I wanted to make a difference ...... I want every child to know he/ she is loved!

I use to get angry .. but I found my way to help!

I don't know the answer ........ I don't know how to help .. So I chose Early childhood.. and everyday I make sure I tell every child in my care ..how special they are .. and something they do that is special!

You don't have to work with a child ........but if your child has a friend ........ any child you come in contact with ..notice something positive about them .......... you would be surprised when that child grows up and sees you again and says ..Wow when I was little and you did this or that for me .. thats why I am doing this now...

One example - I have a boy I had in my class........ he was a stink!! He was more than just an average child with behavior issues ....... I was socked i the head with a baseball ..and many other things ........... my boss wanted the child removed .. I begged that they did not do this... I found out what the child likes ..and I went to the library picked up books / movies etc......... I always had them in my classroom...... things on this topic ..... the child was later labeled in life a NON READER..........yea whatever he read for me all the time! He loved history not American history but other countries history .. and through him I found one of my favorite past times! ...........

and today he is going to college to be a history teacher! He stands taller than me............ and I am invited to his graduation.. said to me just the other day he wouldn't be anything today if it was not for me doing those little things!

I just hope he is not the only one I have touched in this way!
I feel though a kind act ...... a child will find kindness and compassion and can stay on the right tracts! I learned that through my god parents not through any system or my mother.
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