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Old 09-23-2010, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,154 posts, read 57,115,654 times
Reputation: 38418

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jlowkey View Post
My wife was born in australia and moved to L.A. in 2004. We met soon after. She did mention that at some point in the future she did want to go back home to australia. We got married in 2006 and she became pregnant last year. So we left the states and moved to australia. Now I am surrounded by her family and I am not sure I like it. Added to that, her father had 5 girls and I am sure he wanted a boy. Well when my wife was 20 weeks we got a gender scan and guess what we had? A boy. Now I feel like her father is going overboard. He is always over the house when I am at work (my wife is on maternity leave) and I feel like he feels like my son is his son. He even bought him a football jersey and said that my son is going to support his team....for life. What do I do? As the father, isnt my boy supposed to inherit his daddy's interests, to a point? your opinions please.

Congrats on the new baby! And for making the decision to live in such an awesome country to raise him in.

But dude, relax about your father-in-law, really.

One day you'll be in his shoes and you'll understand what a big deal a new baby can be for the grandparents too His behavior seems pretty normal to me.

Don't feel all threatened that somehow your child will look up to him more than you, his own father - he won't (unless you become a bad dad, and I doubt you're planning to )
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Old 09-23-2010, 09:32 AM
 
556 posts, read 425,565 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jlowkey View Post
My wife was born in australia and moved to L.A. in 2004. We met soon after. She did mention that at some point in the future she did want to go back home to australia. We got married in 2006 and she became pregnant last year. So we left the states and moved to australia. Now I am surrounded by her family and I am not sure I like it. Added to that, her father had 5 girls and I am sure he wanted a boy. Well when my wife was 20 weeks we got a gender scan and guess what we had? A boy. Now I feel like her father is going overboard. He is always over the house when I am at work (my wife is on maternity leave) and I feel like he feels like my son is his son. He even bought him a football jersey and said that my son is going to support his team....for life. What do I do? As the father, isnt my boy supposed to inherit his daddy's interests, to a point? your opinions please.

It doesn't sound like he's going overboard to me, just like he is an excited Grand Pappy You can get your son a jersey for your team and watch those games when he's older. You should be happy your father in law is being so hands on, I'm sure it helps your wife out a lot to have his support.
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:05 AM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,357 posts, read 4,154,890 times
Reputation: 1119
Is this baby the first grandchild? My husband and I had kids first, so both sets of grandparents were CRAZY! They were constantly calling, giving advice, etc. Somedays is felt like we were being smothered. As soon as the 'new-ness' wore off, they weren't in our faces as much. They were just excited after not having little kids in a very long time. Once you get to know your wife's family a little bit better, it will be easier.

I wish they still bought my kids their entire wardrobes like when they were babies, lol. There are some perks to having new grandparents!
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:21 AM
Status: "God was not in Stalingrad." (set 22 hours ago)
 
13,680 posts, read 17,603,925 times
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My FIL had two daughters. My son was not only the first grandchild, but the first male born into their entire family in over 20 years. My FIL is very active in my son's life and has been from day one. From buying him a 49ers Football when he was born (we're Eagles fans in my house) to buying him more baseball cards than you could shake a stick it (I'm really not much more than a casual baseball fan). He spent a lot of his free time with my son and they have an awesome relationship. The only time I've ever seen my FIL cry was when my wife and I moved to TX for a year do to work. He just about ran after us as we went to board our plane.

There were times I resented his influence on my son and his seemingly omnipresence. However, as my son has gotten older (he's almost 6) I now realize how important the relationship with his pop pop is to him and how this in no way affects my relationship with him. His pop pop (both of them actually) have opened up his interest in things that I would most likely have never introduced him to. My FIL has taught my son all about baseball and my son is a die hard fan. My father loves to fish and takes my son at least once a month.

However, I'm still his father. I'm still the one he leans on and I'm still the one who gives him the "father son chats". I'm the one who introduced him to football and taught him how to play. I'm the one he opens up to in ways that he wouldn't with his grandparents.

...and the best part? I won the football team contest. I was a little disappointed that my son seemed to cheer for the 49ers over the Eagles and so after the game when my FIL left I asked my son who he liked more. He said, I'm an Eagles fan just like you, but I feel bad for pop pop because the 49ers are so bad.

So, I personally think it's a great thing to have your FIL involved in your sons life. Just remember that you are still his father and he knows that.
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:26 AM
 
1,414 posts, read 2,550,848 times
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First, reebo, that was a fantastic response and if I could rep you I would.

I remember my mom telling me about when my older sister was born. She was the first grandchild. My mom's dad lived a few blocks away. He came over every day while my dad was at work to see the granddaughter. It was an absolute joy to him. He loved her so much.

He died the next year. My grandmother always told us "oh how your grandfather would have loved you!". I wish I could have known him.

So when I read your post, I just think of it in terms of your son. It's more love for him. What a wonderful thing for a child to be loved so much.

You are the dad and it's not a competition. The grandfather complements your love. Try to relax and enjoy. Congratulations!
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:38 AM
 
8,611 posts, read 9,991,582 times
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Ask the FIL if he can take you Crock hunting in the outback...
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