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I asked even younger! Mom was preggo with my lil brother when I was 3. They bought a book for me called How babies are made! I knew all the clinical details and even told some woman at the grocery store check out line how she got pregnant using all the appropriate words!
I think I also told my 2nd grade class. Somebody must have asked and I spoke up! bet the teacher loved that!
I listen to Dr Laura Berman a lot of evenings on Oprah XM radio. She basically gives great advice on the subject...don't answer any more than the child asks. Don't elaborate. They may come back in a week or month and ask a follow up question.
I think she may have a book written on it or you might be able to find an internet broadcast. She does PG hour with kids certain days of week.
My family was never prudish but they didn't flaunt anything either. No one was embarrassed of their bodies. We didn't run and hide or feel ashamed. My mother basically said that she hoped I would wait for marriage to have sex but if I didn't that she hoped it was a long term loving relationship. My mother passed away when I was 15. My dad and stepmom took my stepsister and myself to the GYN the summer before I went to college (I was 17) and we had our 1st exams and got BC pills. They asked if we wanted them. I wasn't in a relationship at the time but they were realistic.
My dad never hid his sexiness meant that he looked and acted sexy naturally, he didn't hide or repress it. Women swooned over he and my uncles and a sexual though clean joke was not unknown amongst them.
For those with younger children, I would suggest that when they ask, you answer to the extent of their questions. You have to be careful since sometimes we misunderstand what they are asking and give more information then they need or want. (An example of this is the 5 year old who asked mom *Where do Babies come from?* and mom went into the when a man and woman are in love bit, and the child said - no, the hospital on Audrey's street or the hospital by the school? So be sure you understand what they are really asking).
I do suggest books a lot. This one is good for explaining body parts:
Bellybuttons are Navels (Young Reader Series) by Mark Schoen
From School Library Journal
PreSchool-Grade 1-- A girl and boy are sitting in the bathtub comparing body parts. They agree that they each have eyes, noses, and fingers, but eventually reach the differences: " 'I have a vulva; only girls have vulvas.' " " 'Well, I have a penis; and only boys have penises.' " Other parts of the body bring the total number of namings to 19. That's it. The purpose of the book is to teach children to identify body parts correctly, and is intended to be used with an adult. It would be successful in this, but it's not the least bit inspired. Toes wiggle, and feet run, but it's still just a list. The full-color illustrations are somewhat attractive, although repetitious and often devoid of expression. --Denise L. Moll, Lone Pine Elementary School, West Bloomfield, MI Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.
For children a bit older, this book has body systems *and* includes the sexual reproductive systems. It is apparently quite explicit so if you are not going to tell your child about sex and reproduction, then you don't want this, but imo, every child should learn this kind of information.
As for where babies come from, at 3 or 4, it may be enough to explain that dad's provide the seeds and mom's provide the eggs, but you can let your child lead the discussion. Preschoolers are very matter of fact when it comes to these discussions.
My school district had the first Sex Education program in the country. It was also in one of the most notoriously conservative counties in the nation, so I don't know how that happened. Huge, huge news. It made national headlines, network TV. People were upset about it for years. Somebody bombed the house of a school board member. Parents could opt in or out for their children. My parents opted in, but I pretty much knew what was what from my mother and from having so many male friends. They did teach us correct body parts and names in Sex Ed so that was helpful.
My parents had one of those marriages where they were nuts about each other. Held hands, patted each other on the butt. So I grew up thinking that sex was a natural part of two married people loving each other. My dad was a very good looking man and I was aware that women sort of fawned over him, but he always seemed sort of oblivious about it all. Which probably just added to his appeal. My mom was very secure in her marriage and totally trusted my dad. So that was a positive roll model as well.
I was raised in a healthy atmosphere. My parents didn't run around the house naked, but if we happened to see them naked in passing it was no big deal. When my brother and I were little we saw each other naked. As we got older we naturally (not at our parents insistence) became more modest about our bodies. But again, if we happened to see each other naked by chance it was not big deal.
As far as sex, all of our questions were answered when they came up. My parents never lied to us about where babies came from and I was aware of what was happening when I got my period.
With reference to my red, underlined text above I would like to say that the sexual education of a child is not "the talk". It is not one big information dump that happens on some random day in a child's life. A child does not need all the information about sex on one day of his life. It's to much and not enough at the same time.
Sexual education should happen as the child grow up, becomes curious and asks questions. When a 5 year old asks where babies come from you tell him in an age appropriate manner. When he is 7 he may have more questions. When he is 10, yet more questions. You need to give him TRUTHFUL, AGE APPROPRIATE answers at any age.
IMO there is no "TALK" that will do it. It needs to be a process.
Hope you don't mind I am going to borrow your post, this is how we were raised too, which in turn has been how my kids have been raised.
I can't tell you when yours will ask. I was pg when my oldest was 5. He wanted to know how the baby got in there and how it would get out. We told him what he needed to know at that point. No more, no less, no lies.
Thanks for the replies. Will be back later to respond to some. Very interesting. Oh and to the cowardly person who left me a negative rep because they didn't like the title of my thread.....What title would you suggest
Just for future reference, you do know that negative rep comments CAN be tracked right
The post on bringing opposite sex kids in the bathroom and locker room with you got me thinking.
How comfortable were your parents in discussing sex with you? Did they also discuss changes you would experience when you hit puberty? My son is 7 and in a few years we're going to have to have the talk.
I was raised in a very prudish home. My mom and Dad (who passed away 22 years ago) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
She never told me about any of the changes I would experience as I became a woman. When I hit puberty I had no idea what was happening to me and I freaked out because I had no idea what periods were.
How did you grow up with regards to this subject and did it will it affect how you teach your children about sex?
My mom only told us just barely the basics. My sisters and I knew about our periods that was mostly it. My mom wasnt comfortable with the sex talk with us. Her sex talk was dont let a man touch your leg, your breast or french kiss you, or you will get pregnant..LOL..I wasnt afraid tho.. I had friends who had older sisters and they would tell us things.
Im the opposite with my kids Im very open with them about sex. I want them to know they can come to me with anything.
My school district had the first Sex Education program in the country. It was also in one of the most notoriously conservative counties in the nation, so I don't know how that happened. Huge, huge news. It made national headlines, network TV. People were upset about it for years. Somebody bombed the house of a school board member. Parents could opt in or out for their children. My parents opted in, but I pretty much knew what was what from my mother and from having so many male friends. They did teach us correct body parts and names in Sex Ed so that was helpful.
My parents had one of those marriages where they were nuts about each other. Held hands, patted each other on the butt. So I grew up thinking that sex was a natural part of two married people loving each other. My dad was a very good looking man and I was aware that women sort of fawned over him, but he always seemed sort of oblivious about it all. Which probably just added to his appeal. My mom was very secure in her marriage and totally trusted my dad. So that was a positive roll model as well.
My school district had the first Sex Education program in the country. It was also in one of the most notoriously conservative counties in the nation, so I don't know how that happened. Huge, huge news. It made national headlines, network TV. People were upset about it for years. Somebody bombed the house of a school board member. Parents could opt in or out for their children. My parents opted in, but I pretty much knew what was what from my mother and from having so many male friends. They did teach us correct body parts and names in Sex Ed so that was helpful.
My parents had one of those marriages where they were nuts about each other. Held hands, patted each other on the butt. So I grew up thinking that sex was a natural part of two married people loving each other. My dad was a very good looking man and I was aware that women sort of fawned over him, but he always seemed sort of oblivious about it all. Which probably just added to his appeal. My mom was very secure in her marriage and totally trusted my dad. So that was a positive roll model as well.
hmmmm. According to this history, the first programs in high school were in Chicago in 1914. Admittedly, the tone was very different from the classes today at least at first.
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) never talked to us about sex. They figured we would just learn it in school, hear it from friends etc. It was always a very taboo subject that came with a lot of embarrassment. My mom basically thinks that anyone who has sex before marriage is a ****. Which I don't agree with.
