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I'm sorry but that's BS.
Where there's a will...there's a way, and I raised mine without the help of a man...so you can do everything required to run a household and take care of the child at the same time.
Too many Mothers these days are using that excuse.
Well sure, if a woman absolutely HAS to she can find a way. But it's nice of the husband to help out, if he's just sitting on the couch drinking a beer while the baby is crying to be fed/changed, and she's trying to make dinner. I don't really think it's fair to expect either spouse to do it all, whether one stays home or not. I've been a SAHM for over 20 years, and my dh always helped out with chores here and there when the kids were babies. It should be teamwork. That's why it is important for the OP to work this out with his wife ASAP.
Maybe he should knock her up again and take her shoes away. Get her barefoot, pregnant, and frying up that bacon he's makin!
Like I wrote to another poster:
And when I sit around with her family members they have no problem telling me "women rule this family and men are expected to acquiese" so there has been bred in me, a response. My wife has tried to bully me on more than one occasion, treating our son like a possession, telling me I cant post his pics on facebook where I post them so my family members, who are my friends on facebook, can see them. I have come home on many occasions and cooked and cleaned I get up at 5am to CLEAN THE HOUSE before leaving for work so she doesnt have to do a thing and can move freely. I have tried to be MORE than an equal partner, going to work for HOURS and being asked to insulate the loft right away, put boxes in the loft right away, hold the baby, BEFORE I HAVE EVEN HAD A CHANCE |TO |WAS MY HANDS!!
My wife is home all day with the baby. We moved from the States to Australia so she could be closer to her family and so she could have support for her family. The baby is now 3 months old. Well, I get up at 5am every day to go to work. I iron all my clothes, etc. yet and still, when its time for me to go to work, my wife is like "here's the baby" and hands him to me while I am trying to get dressed! On top of that, I cook dinner, do most of the cleaning, all while she is home during the day, or out with the family that was supposed to lighten the burden. Yes my son cries sometimes and is difficult, but so is working 5am to 5pm. And guess what happens when I walk in the door from work? My wife hands me the baby, or says "its time to bathe him." So I get nearly ZERO time for myself, and I am beginning to resent it. Last night I went to bed thinking "I hate what my life has become." I have moved to a different country just for my wife, I work and it feels like I have to do everything except nurse the baby and change the diapers. If I am the bread winner, shouldnt dinner be ready for me, my clothes be ironed. whatever? When I get home from work my wife often says to me "whats for dinner." I know a child is a lot of work, believe me, but I get the feeling my wife is slacking and its beginning to make me angry. I know she hasnt lived in her home country for 5 years, but we have been back in her home country for nearly 8 months and I think she's just having a holiday with her family and forgetting about taking care of the home.
Sorry there can only be one captain and it needs to be the husband.
What? Why?? Says Who???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mt-7
Now that means treat him with respect while expecting the same from him. Not giving this guy a bit of time to himself is just as disrespectful as not giving the mom any.
Yes, I believe you are correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mt-7
Don't worry, she is driving him away and some other gal will be glad to step in. He is yelling for help here.
Ummm, really? Gals are just hanging about, waiting to step in when the first gal doesn't follow the rules? What happened to the sanctity of marriage, here?
PS: Putting a disclaimer in regarding getting into trouble won't actually stop you from getting into trouble.
I'm not a SAHM but I did stay home until my son was about 4 months old and most of that time was during the summer so I also had my daughter who was 5 year old and a neighbor who was 10 and while my husband worked nights and slept during the day I took care of the household I woke up every night with the baby (he was a horrible sleeper until he was about two years old. That was torture..LOL)
Everyday I made breakfast, lunch and dinner... I had a whole family to feed but on some days the meals were fancier than others.. such as basic sandwiches my point was there is something to eat today just be thankful.LOL I kept up with the house somewhat dishes clean, floor swept but was far from perfect. Laundry was done only with my husband around. I felt laundry was overwhelming to do it with the baby. When my husband would wake up he would help me out with whatever I needed. I took this time to run my errands and get some "me" time in.
OP have a serious talk with your wife and let her know how you feel but choose your words wisely and be sensative to her feelings and let her know that what she is doing is not an easy job and you appreciate her.
I think what made it easy for me (because I had absolutly no outside help) was that my DH was so apprieciative of everything even when I save him a sandwich for dinner he would tell me to sit down and he would serve everyone or tell me to wait until his day off and we would do laundry together (although I wouldnt have done it without him it was the thought that counts)
people are always lookign to discredit someone. My wife has cousins that are parents, might they not be in this forum. I dont want the specifics of who I am and where I live to be known so i vary them from time to time. that you felt the need to search for some way to discredit me is telling and that you ran and posted it is telling too. Yes I did move from the US to a foreign country with my wife, but I will not name it. too many things show up on google, too many things are trackable and I purposely made up the two countries to disguise where I really am. You can not believe the story if you want, but I can assure you I am hoppin mad about this.
In closing let me say ppl like you, who are WAY too invested in internet personas, are lame. I would NEVER take the time to search through a posters post. I have a life to live!
people are always lookign to discredit someone. My wife has cousins that are parents, might they not be in this forum. I dont want the specifics of who I am and where I live to be known so i vary them from time to time. that you felt the need to search for some way to discredit me is telling and that you ran and posted it is telling too. Yes I did move from the US to a foreign country with my wife, but I will not name it. too many things show up on google, too many things are trackable and I purposely made up the two countries to disguise where I really am. You can not believe the story if you want, but I can assure you I am hoppin mad about this.
In closing let me say ppl like you, who are WAY too invested in internet personas, are lame. I would NEVER take the time to search through a posters post. I have a life to live!
Were you also lying when you laughed about collecting unemployment benefits from the US while working in another country. Because that is really lame! I was supporting you through my taxes and you didn't' even have the decency to prepare me dinner or iron my clothes in the morning.
In closing let me say ppl like you, who are WAY too invested in internet personas, are lame. I would NEVER take the time to search through a posters post. I have a life to live!
It's three or so clicks of the mouse... But at any rate, if you are going to make up stories, at least take the time to go back and review your own postings to at keep things consistent.
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Maybe he should knock her up again and take her shoes away. Get her barefoot, pregnant, and frying up that bacon he's makin!
